Sztuka Kochania - book review

I reached out for the book, after watching the film biography of its author. The cult Polish “manual” of human sexuality has had several editions, I have come by the most recent one, with up-to-date preface and supplemented with a chapter on contemporary contraception methods.

Some chapters of the book were edited or complemented by Mrs Wisłocka over her lifetime, as she worked on consecutive, improved editions, but all in all it can be felt Sztuka Kochania was written 40 years ago. The three central characteristics that prove how the world has moved on during the last four decades are:

1) the emergence and advance of Internet, taking place of papers and video cassettes as a source of skewed knowledge of sex and carrier of pornographic content,

2) the demise of taboos; sex-related stuff has become a topic of shame-free conversations within families and among friends,

3) fading traditional roles ascribed to specific sexes, in terms of behaviours, sharing duties and responsibilities (this has given rise to research on gender identity).

Since 1970 a huge stride in terms of culture of sex life and its understanding has been made, nevertheless progress has not rendered the book useless.

Socially, awareness of sexuality has improved, shame no longer accompanies deliberations on it, yet much still needs to be done. The main channels through which youngsters gain education are the Web and other easily accessible media. Needless to say contents young people familiarise with are far from professional substantive education they should receive at school and at homes (if parents are prepared and not to afraid to pass such knowledge).

Scientifically, biggest step forward has been made in contraception. Today, withdrawal method is widely criticised because of its high failure rate (not to mention practical aspects), while 40 years ago was a generally accepted contraception method. In 1970s contraceptive pills, nascent and imperfect, were believed to cause detrimental side effects to women’s bodies, while today, though gynaecologists remain aware of the pills’ shortcomings, they are recognised as practical and effective birth control method.

There are passages in the book I have mixed feelings about. The author several times stresses it is not a coincidence woman is female, while man is male. A woman’s role is to give birth, a man’s role to initiate mating rituals. While we cannot and I believe should not play with biology, decisions who wears pants in a relationship, how responsibilities are shared and who takes matters into their hands should belong to a couple. As I observe marriages and non-formalised long-term relationships, they function as partnerships with large degree of autonomy and commonly shared responsibility for household duties and bringing up offspring.

Mrs Wisłocka dedicates part of a chapter of contraception to abortion, permitted before 1989 in Poland. She decidedly underlines pregnancy termination is evil and ought to be avoided (therefore she advocates access to birth control), however claims the decision whether to have it performed it should be left to a woman only and a would-be father has nothing to say. While I know a man will not spend nine months pregnant and may make away leaving a woman and an infant out in the cold, if he stays by her side, he should be allowed to have his say (unless he brutally forces a woman to terminate pregnancy).

When the book was first published, youngsters began to live together under one roof usually after getting married. In the twenty-first century mass migration from provincial areas to large cities, availability of rented dwellings and mortgages and social changes accelerated the moment a youngster flies the nest. This translates into earlier start of learning the life together – couples begin to live under one roof well before tying the knot (if at all) and earlier begin to discover each other.

The purport of Sztuka kochania which remains always up-to-date is that relationships should be based on empathy and mutual respect, no matter if in bed, in running a house, raising children or elsewhere. This universal credo should be instilled at home and odds to shape an adult who has not been taught empathy and respect at home are tiny, yet it is never too late to make efforts.

Those who expect a guide or an instruction how to make love, should not waste time going through the book, though it contains several priceless hints what to pay attention to. I believe Sztuka Kochania is worthwhile, as it enriches one’s grasp of sexuality, particularly how it is embedded in emotionality and how it intertwines with other spheres of human life. A driver who skilfully operates a vehicle and whose passengers enjoy a safe and comfortable ride, must not necessarily be familiar with how engine, transmission and other parts of vehicle work, though they gently but firmly steer a vehicle. It would never hurt, however, if they improved their grasp of mechanics ;-)

Winter Timeline 2016/17

American forecasters claimed in early autumn 2016 this was supposed to be the fourth mild winter in a row in Poland. Although saying the ending winter was harsh would be an overstatement, yet it was colder and snowier and three previous ones.

7 October 2016

First ground frost. Though the formal minimum temperature readout from W-wa Okecie weather station was +0.9C, in most parts of the capital frost was seen on grass and cars.

14 October 2016

First official morning frost this autumn; –0.4C at dawn.

9 November 2016

First snow. Thick, heavy and wet. Falls from early morning until early evening, but does not linger for long since temperatures is just above 0C and ground has not frozen over.

10 November 2016

A sunny, clement day with temperature just above zero.

11 November 2016

Woke up to the sight of snow. This time it does not melt instantly, yet with air temperature near freezing does not accumulate as well. This is definitely the first whiff of winter, but it has not come for good (hopefully).

12 November 2016

Frosty, sunny and chilly. In the late afternoon temperature tops +0.6C, but it feels warmer since the air is still

13 November 2016

It was supposed to be another day with clear blue skies, but it starts with a snow shower lasting from 8:00 a.m. for two hours. The sun attempts to break through the clouds and snows melt, as temperature rises well above 0C.

14 November 2016 – 27 November 2016

Late autumn returns and shows its manifold faces, from nearing winter (sleet, temperatures close to 0C) at the end of month towards balmy and sunny belated Indian summer spell around the beginning of the third decade of the month (up to +13C and sunshine).

28 November 2016 – 30 November 2016

Light pre-winter. Temperatures oscillate around zero. Frequent snow showers bring a light dusting of snow which melts slowly.

November 2016 in terms of temperature was normal; the temperature over the whole month averaged out exactly as much as long-term mean of +3.2C. Stats:

- month-time high: +13.0C on 21 November 2016 (colder than in 2014 or 2015),

- month-time low: –4.5C on 28 November 2016 (quite an ordinary low),

- the warmest day: 21 November 2016 (daily average of +8.7C),

- the coldest day: 28 November 2016 (daily average of –1.5C).

1 December 2016

After an autumnal, gloomy day winter hits after sunset. Blizzard brings thick, heavy and wet snow.

2 December 2016

It snowed all night and ceased early in the morning. Temperature is still very close to zero, so when lots of snow melt and freeze over, roads turn into ice rinks. The layer of white powder is quite thick so that it does not disappear over the day.

3 December 2016

At times sunny, at times sky is overcast but with no snow showers. Though sunrays reach the earth, snow in most places lingers. Temperature barely above zero.

4 December 2016

Night brings another light dusting of snow. Over the day – just above zero. In the afternoon skies clear up.

5 December 2016 – 7 December 2016

Chilly, below zero all the time, wind chill probably below –10C. To make up for it, rather sunny (though not with clear blue skies), except for one snow shower on 6 December morning.

8 December 2016

After a frosty morning it thaws out immediately – temperature soars at the pace of one degree per hour, gusty winds howl.

9 December 2016 – 11 December 2016

Intense thaw with temperatures nearing double digits and rain pouring down. Late autumn gloom…

12 December 2016 – 13 December 2016

Temperature plummets on Monday morning and stays below zero, but not below –5C for two days. Shining sun and brightness make up for chill.

14 December 2016

Snow, sleet, rain. Whatever falls from the sky turns into water on the ground since thaw sets in.

15 December 2016 – 17 December 2016

Near, but rather above zero, little precipitation, hoar frost setting at night. Roads and pavements might be slippery, ye it’s still not the proper winter.

18 December 2016

Little snow falls, little snow lingers, little snow melts. Cause it’s near 0C, the most frequent temperature readout this December.

19 December 2016 – 20 December 2016

Fog, drizzle, gloom and temperature barely above zero. Feels like Christmas…

21 December 2016 – 22 December 2016

Fog gives way to clear skies, sunshine and a little bit of frost. Finally a spirit-lifting, though chilly weather.

23 December 2016

Wake up to freezing sleet. Icy rain or snow sets on roads and pavements and it gets slippery. A little bit of winter just before Christmas. By midday the snow is gone and ugly late autumn returns.

24 December 2016 – 25 December 2016

A general thaw, with intermittent yet intense rainfalls and some sunny moments. Gloom is overwhelming…

26 December 2016

It gets really warm for just one day, temperature tops +10C. Windy…

27 December 2016

A windstorm hits Poland. Gusty winds blow at speeds reaching 100 kmph and play havoc with electricity supply and bring intense rain showers.

28 December 2016 – 31 December 2016

Weather gets rather clement, with no precipitation, light frost at night, slightly above freezing during the day. And forecasts warn winter will hit in early January.

December 2016 was slightly warm. Average temperature in Warsaw was +1.2C (vs. long-term average of –0.7C) Stats:

- month-time high: +9.9C on 26 December 2016 (somehow it does not take me aback the warmest day befell around Christmas),

- month-time low: –6.7C on 12 December 2016 (so far double-digit frost escaped Warsaw),

- the warmest day: 10 December 2016 (daily average of +8.3C, as warm as in mid-October),

- the coldest day: 13 December 2016 (daily average of –4.1C).

1 January 2017

Blue skies cloud over. Gloomy day heralds oncoming actual winter.

2 January 2017 – 3 January 2017

Intense snow showers come and go in temperature close to 0C. Snow falls faster than it melts, hence layer of white powder slowly accumulates.

4 January 2017

Blizzard that commenced the evening before lasted all night but has not brought lots of snow. Over the day it thawed out, so next snow showers turn into water as they reach the ground.

5 January 2017

Now it’s getting serious. Overnight snow was crisp and light, but temperature in the morning dropped to –6C. By the evening it declines, for the first time this winter, to –10C. In such cold salt does not help keep roads and pavements clear of snow. Winter is about to stamp its foot, but not for long! Snow cover has reached five centimetres.

6 January 2017

Sunshine and clear skies from dawn to dusk. When the day breaks temperature is –13C, then despite sunlight air gets no warmer, while in the evening thermometers in Warsaw show –16C.

7 January 2017

–19C just before sunrise and this stands a chance to be the coldest morning this winter. This is the first such temperature drop since February 2012… Not sunny all the time, a little snow shower leaves some white powder shortly before midday. Day-time high of –11C in the afternoon.

8 January 2017

With day-time low of –16C and day-time high of –7C temperatures take a turn for the better. If you add cloudless skies, you get the recipe for perfect winter wonderland. Three days ago weather forecasts said thaw was due today. Today they say sunny and frosty weather should continue for three coming days.

9 January 2017 – 11 January 2017

Should be a glorious winter, but it is not. Smog, felt by nostrils, throat and lungs, lingers in the air. Obnoxious particle hamper visibility and at times occlude the sun. The air is still, temperature between –14C and –3C.

12 January 2017 – 13 January 2017

On the edge of thaw – just below zero at night, just above freezing in daylight. Depending on time of day snow showers linger on the ground or turn into slush, freezing treacherously on cool ground.

14 January 2017

A one-day thaw, with maximum temperature barely above zero little of the snow disappear.

15 January 2017

The events of the day is are intense snow showers between 9:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m., then between 1:00 p.m. and 2:20 p.m. which bring some two centimetres of crisp white powder each. Besides, just below freezing and with spells of sunshine. In the afternoon temperature creeps above zero for the last time before winter returns for good.

16 January 2017 – 17 January 2017

Gloomy, with light frost and sparse, yet abundant snowfall. In a word a mild winter before temperature declines into double-digits below zero and skies clear up.

18 January 2017 – 19 January 2017

A harsher face of winter manifests itself. Near –10C before sunrise, below zero in the afternoon. No new snow at all, yet little sunshine. Smog has returned?

20 January 2017

Freezing drizzle, not as wreckful as exactly three years ago (taki mieliśmy klimat), yet when it rains at –4C, walking and driving is damn risky. Especially the former. Pavements are dreadfully slippery. Foggy (or smoggy).

21 January 2017

After a spell of frost at night it thaws out. Icy pavements become a thing of the past. Gloom does not let up.

22 January 2017 – 28 January 2017

I’m taking a week-long break from Polish winter and spend it in Spain where the weather is like in late March in Poland. In the meantime in Warsaw there is little new snow and temperatures swing from –10C before sunrise to slightly above zero on afternoons.

29 January 2017 – 31 January 2017

Rather cold nights with temperature falling near –10C, sunny days with day-time highs near 0C. Actual winter about to recede in a few days…

January 2017 was normal, yet it needs to be noted the categorization is due to large standard deviation from mean temperature recorded in Warsaw over years (I would classify it as slightly cold). Average temperature in Warsaw was –3.7C (vs. long-term average of –1.9C), but over most of the month actual temperature was nearing the average –2C. Stats:

- month-time high: +3.9C on 1 January 2017 (quite chilly, compared to double-digit month-time highs record in recent years),

- month-time low: –19.3C on 7 January 2017 (the coldest since February 2012),

- the warmest day: 1 January 2017 (daily average of +1.6C, mere +1.6C),

- the coldest day: 7 January 2017 (daily average of –15.6C).

1 February 2017

The last day of rather sunny mild winter (between –5C and the freezing point).

2 February 2017

The day begins with rather intense snow shower, but white powder melts quickly when temperature inclines above 0C. In the afternoon it gets foggy and freezing drizzle hampers moving around.

3 February 2017 – 4 February 2017

Just a bit above 0C, gloomy and no snow showers. Clouds occlude the sun, but days are visibly longer, especially in afternoons.

5 February 2017 – 6 February 2017

Around –4C, overcast skies and odd tiny snowflakes falling on the ground. A cold snap ahead!

7 February 2017

It snows, all day long. The snow is soft, crisp and does not fall in abundance. Hour by hour it gets colder, from –4C in the morning towards –9C late in the evening.

8 February 2017 – 9 February 2017

Snow showers cease, but sun does not break through the clouds. Temperature hovers between –10C and –5C but wind chill makes it feel like below –15C. The windy weather has one upside – moving air blows away the smog.

10 February 2017 – 11 February 2017

Finally sunshine takes over. Mornings are cold, around –10C, afternoons not that warm, since despite day-time highs near –3C, wind takes the gloss off warmth. Sunlight reveals how much salt has been put down on roads and pavements – they are virtually white.

12 February 2017 – 14 February 2017

Above –10C night-time lows, below 0C day-time high. Sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy yet without precipitation. Thaw fails to take over, yet after six weeks of full- or half-blown winter, a proper thaw would be welcome.

15 February 2017

Sunny, yet with hovering smog. Temperature in the afternoon for the first time since nearly two weeks rises above zero.

16 February 2017

Frosty morning (-5C) comes ahead of the first whiff of spring in the afternoon. Sunrays heat the air up to +8C, however air quality in Warsaw is horrid.

17 February – 23 February 2017

Gloomy pre-spring takes over. Sparse moments of sunshine, gloomy with rain showers, downpours, drizzles or fog. Temperature above zero all the time. The ground is frozen solid, hence it takes a few days before quite thin snow cover disappears.

24 February 2017

All of the sudden in begins to snow in the afternoon. The wind is gusty, so Warsaw witnesses a veritable blizzard. Temperature falls near zero, so the snow melts slowly.

25 February 2017

Snows have not melted overnight. Besides, fresh supplies of white arrive around 9 a.m. when another blizzard hits. Despite temperature topping +3C and several spells of sunshine snow lies on the ground by evening.

26 February 2017

A light dusting of snow in the morning… Melts instantly. Temperature reaches +6C, but outside it is unpleasant in drizzle and chilly wind… Two-week forecast say today’s snow shower could be the last one (in 2014 the last snow was witnessed in the first decade of February).

27 February 2017 – 28 February 2017

Beautiful ending of February, sunshine and double-digit temperatures in the afternoon. Next whiff of spring is foreseen for the weekend.

February 2017 was normal. Average temperature in Warsaw was –0.8C (vs. long-term average of –1.0C). Stats:

- month-time high: +13,7C on 27 February 2017 (short of record-high +17.2C measured in 1990),

- month-time low: –10.9C on 10 February 2017,

- the warmest day: 27 February 2017 (daily average of +8.3C, as warm as in mid-April),

- the coldest day: 8 February 2017 (daily average of –8.9C).

March 2017 had a very pleasant beginning. Noteworthy events were first spring storm on 2 March 2017 and remarkably balmy first weekend of the month when temperatures peaked near +15C (in full sunshine it felt much warmer). Though later the weather resembled rather pre-spring (single-digit above zero, gloomy), no trace of winter was in sight.

PiS in power, episode 1 in 2017

Not a dreamt-up start into the new year for the current government. Nevertheless, the five image-tainting slip-ups have not sent support in polls sliding. I believe this will happen slowly, gradually, as more voters reach their pain threshold (i.e. as wrongdoings accumulate).

Moving about safely is not the biggest virtue of PiS. Over twelve months limousines carrying prominent politicians had three serious accidents. In March 2016 president Duda’s BMW fell off the motorway after a tyre popped. On 25 January 2017 minister Macierewicz’s motorcade moving at excessive speed on an icy road smashed into cars waiting ahead of traffic lights. On 10 February 2017 reinforced Audi driving prime minister Szydlo home collided into a tree after hitting an overtaken Seciento. Circumstances of the latter accident remain most blurred, however most recent findings reveal internal safety procedures have been breached and the vehicle was not moving at the allowed speed between 50 and 60 kmph as police and ministry officials claimed. Truth be told disrespect for safety rules and fondness of speed have been a domain of all predecessors of PiS, however nobody has learnt the lesson so far, especially as Internet users publish films from dashboard cameras, shot after 10 February 2017, showing dangerous motorcades of government limousines.

Defence ministry spokesman, Bartłomiej Misiewicz, the embodiment of personnel reshuffle conducted by PiS in government-controlled enterprises has been locked up around a month ago (having days off to compensate him for working overtime). After several incidences of high-rank army officials saluting to the (civilian) spokesman and after his foray to a night-club in Białystok, Mr Misiewicz is no longer in the limelight. His future remains uncertain, however minister Macierewicz will rather not leave him out in the cold, despite Mr Kaczynski’s clear statement that Mr Misiewicz is a predicament for PiS. Conspiracy theorists wonder what Mr Misiewicz knows about Mr Macierewicz and what Mr Macierewicz knows about Mr Kaczynski that guarantees Mr Misiewicz irremovability.

The proposal to enlarge Warsaw by adjoining over 30 surrounding towns has struck out of the blue. The draft law, not consulted with anyone, including around two million residents of Warsaw and nearby towns affected by the law, brought in a strong backlash. Experts pointed at several shortcomings of the document, including violating constitutional rules (who cares?). Besides, local governors in unison underlined the deputy Sasin’s draft had not been discussed with interested parties. PiS had to give in and back down from the plan of extending Warsaw’s borders before local government elections. I suppose as too many potential voters have stamped down PiS intentions and thwarted boosting chances of their candidate in winning mayor of Warsaw stool, politicians of the party will have a hard nut to crack.

Lex Szyszko, or the amended environment protection law is probably the most visible outcome of PiS in power. You just walk outside and see chopped down trees, on private and public lands. And as a matter of principle, the wood is hardly ever cleared away, so sights like this are commonplace (in the background, uncanny freight train on Siekierki coal line). I am in two minds about this law, remembering that cutting down wizened trees that do not come into leafs and pose threat during gusty winds is necessary for the sake of safety of humans and their property. It will take decades to make up for the harm inflicted over a few weeks of the law in force. PiS has taken note of its mistake and announced next changes to the law, time will tell whether they block unfettered tree-chopping spree, but whatever steps they take, they will not reverse the time and those who have benefited from the amendments over the recent weeks will not be deprived of their benefits.

The debacle of Poland’s candidate, Jacek Saryusz-Wolski is Thursday’s (not deferred) vote on the position of European Commission candidate is the biggest defeat of PiS government in international politics and in my humble opinion, the most prestigious calamity of PiS since they took over power. All remaining 27 EU representatives, including our closest allies, i.e. prime minister Theresa May and prime minister Victor Orban, without hesitation backed the incumbent president Donald Tusk. Competencies of Mr Tusk and common sense of 27 EU leaders have been superior to domestic conflicts. The United Europe showed thumbs down to Poland whose voice has become finally audible in Europe. Indeed, our voice is heard, but no one wants to listed to it. Poland’s foreign policy is finally not pursued on its knees. Poland’s diplomats and leaders have gotten up of their knees to fall flat on their faces, straight into a cold, dirty, muddy puddle.

I feel no joy writing the above. The events in Brussels demonstrate Poland is becoming a quirky outsider in the EU, whose officials will sooner or later lose their patience and take revenge, namely cut Poland off generous flow of money from the EU. Sadly, the defeat will change nothing in perception of PiS government inside the country. Those who oppose it will not change their mind, while approximately 20% of the electorate who are hard-line believers of Mr Kaczynski will genuinely put faith in all of his words and accept as true Mrs Szydlo’s trip to Brussels was a huge victory and that evil EU is to blame. I hope Poland does not take umbrage with the EU, as if this happened and EU retaliated, Poland, not the EU would be worse off.

Out of the muck

A year ago, after an annual corpo get-together (the most splendid and expensive such party in a year is always scheduled for the end of first week of March) I aimed to debunk myths surrounding such events. Today, having returned safe and sound from another one, I seriously consider taking back some of my words and crossing out some paragraphs from the post I published then.

Oddly enough, organisational-wise, the event was far superior to last year’s one. Arrangers cut down on gadget expenses, hired fewer celebrities and signed on a better DJ. The grand setting, though important, does not make an event memorable, cause whether the event is enjoyable or turns into a nightmare depends on people who attend it.

I cannot claim I am the most righteous person to teach people how to conduct themselves, yet I realise tolerance of specific behaviours depends on circumstances, situations, family obligations of people involved etc. The common denominator of my observations and legends on such events is that those most inclined to misbehave are seemingly exemplary spouses and parents who break off a leash for one night. And central role goes to alcohol which in excessive amount brings out the worst instincts in humans.

All names in the stories below have been changed.

Some incidents happen on such events, especially when held in hotels, away from home, but why this time did they happen in abundance?

The hotel where the event was held was quite spacious, so before I got to my room, I had to walk past a long corridor and while carrying my luggage I counted three rooms from which loud mixed giggling (but not huffing) was audible.

After a workshop and a lunch my companions and I strolled outside to breath in some fresh air. We passed several participants lugging clinging bags from a nearby shop… By the evening some people were barely able to stand on two legs…

After a dinner a guy who sat with me at one table approached me and said he remembered me from times I worked at The Employer. Frankly speaking I could not recall neither his name (Darek) nor face, yet having common former colleagues was a good starting point for a conversation. Soon Darek confided his son had been born on New Year’s Day and after two months he finally enjoyed his first night out after the birth and wanted it to be crazy. I offered to drink one brim of vodka with him (I was holding back knowing I would be driving home the next day) and then easily arranged him some companions also willing to go on binge. Soon Darek was on his knees…

Before Darek’s only way of moving around was crawling, I headed to my room to dress down to jeans and polo T-shirt for the informal part of the bash. Back at the table I found my friend Ania (married, two children) being accosted by a guy with whom she had worked at her previous workplace and who had also joined The New Factory. Without a trace of embarrassment he confessed it was a great pity he was married and had children; a pity, yet not an obstacle for something between them to happen. He carried on like this for a minute or so, so seeing dread on Ania’s face I asked her to go to the dancefloor with me.

After a few songs Ania began to dance with our co-worker (not the obtrusive guy) while I swung sideways to join girls from a sales team. Within a few minutes Jola with who I danced spotted another girl, Beata (married, one child) was being groped by a guy we had never seen before. While DJ was mixing one song into another, I swiftly cut in and took Beata away from the dancefloor. Beata was about to puke, but pulled through very quickly. As she thanked me for saving her, I spotted through an open door Ania and the unhappy husband were dancing far too close to each other than Ania would wish. Shortly after this Ania escaped the room and rushed to the bathroom, but the guy followed her and waited at the bathroom’s door.

I rang Ania to make sure my perception of events was in line with hers and promise her to draw away the guy so that should could exit the bathroom safely. Then I asked Beata to pretend she had twisted her ankle (an idiotic plan given the guy had been passing us by a minute earlier and Beata’s ankle had not been hurt) and together we asked the guy to help me see Beata off to her room. Predictably, the guy was resistant to move by an inch, but as two young chicks passing by who were witnessing the scene, rebuked him, he finally agreed. In the meantime Ania managed to disappear in her room for the rest of the night.

Back at the dancefloor I noticed another co-worker, Ewa (engaged), being touched far too intimately by an older guy. Judging by her face, she was not delighted with the course of events. I cut in, set her free and learnt actually her dance partner was disgusting, not what he was doing. My observations from the rest of the night confirmed Ewa was fond of near-erotic dances with newly met males.

While taking breaks from dancing, I hung around in a hall where snacks and beverages were served. This proved to be a great opportunity for some clearly inebriated individuals to speak out what they thought about me, my bosses and team-mates. I don’t hold any grudge against them, as I truly appreciate sincerity and straightforwardness.

As the night was no longer young, my mate Jacek (married, one child) and I began to flirt with married women, just for kicks (at least me). The outcome was reassuring, since at the end of each conversation we heard something like “the most wonderful man in the world is staying at our home, looking after our children”.

My doubts whether Jacek at best was overdoing in fooling about appeared before long. Jacek brought along Karolina, a girl (either single, or taken, but not yet engaged) who works at a back office department on the same floor as I do (we see each other several times a day). Karolina was surely under the influence and starred lusciously at me. Jacek who probably thought I was on the pull hurried to explain Karolina was horny to go to bed with me and though her beauty left a lot to be desired, chances that I seized any better opportunity that night were close to zero, so I should have gone for it. Faced with the first in my life explicit proposal made by a third-party, I politely asked whether they were both off their f***ing heads (czy was pop****oliło?) and decided to make off to my room. On my way I had to avoid a collision with a pissed like a fart senior manager staggering in his pants only and mumbling something about meatheads he had to work with. I thought scenes like this belong to lousy films and myths only…

Having said that I am proud of my own, this time exemplary (I count out flirting with married women which was an experiment) conduct during the whole event. Oddly enough, each next such party (and I attend between three and six in a year) sets lower standards of participants’ (mis)behaviour. After the recent one I realise why many people decide to quit such events around ten or nine p.m. before more interesting stories unfold.