Nearly four weeks past the break-up… Tenants of my girlfriend found a new dwelling easily, so she could move to her own flat last weekend. This weekend with some help of a friend of mine, who owns a lorry, we are finalising the moving. During three weeks under one roof, quality of our friendly relationship was pathologically good. All tensions have eased, but knowing the mechanics of decreasing expectations and eased pressure, we were not misled and both remain confident our romantic relationship was a dead-end street.
Actually we could have carried on as flatmates, however this would be tremendously insalubrious, as there were plenty of reasons to terminate that relationship and actual decoupling is a vital element of the break-up.
As it happens in such situations, I swing between conflicting feelings, from deep relief to hollowness. As my ex-girlfriend’s belongings were packed into boxes, the flat, chests of drawers, bookcases, wardrobe closets, they have all become underwhelmingly empty. It will take some time and I will take my time to come to terms with it.
In such circumstances most people get involved in doing things to drown out their emotions. New hobbies, taking up doing new sports, workaholism, compulsive shopping, rushing into dating, travels, addictions, catching up or starting out with stuff out of reach when they were in a relationship. It takes some courage to confront with one’s emotions, work them through and emerge wiser as you get past them.
Theoretically, I am single, practically I am still taken, since emotionally I am not ready for a new relationship and get on with myself reasonably well. The coming weeks or months, will be a time of focusing on myself, getting to know myself better, realising what my needs are. I have neglected myself in that relationship a bit, so before I’m back on the market, I need to restore the internal balance.
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