Optimising the commuting

I do not remember if I made any resolutions at the beginning of the year. I somehow recall I felt it would be a good year for me and my sixth sense proved right! So this week, at the onset of autumn I made a resolution not to write about politics and I am intent on keeping away from political current affairs by the end of October. I think this will be a tough test for me, given that Mr Sane-As-Never is likely to step up his end-justifies-the-means insult campaign, paving the way to his party’s wipe-out in parliamentary elections in 2011!

In the summer commuting would have been a sheer pleasure, if it had not been for the high temperature, so frequent in the past two months. Now it is cooler, but time spent on journeys to and from work has gone up by 20% or even 50%. Right: 15 September (when I went by car for the last time), morning, queue before intersection of ul. Łabędzia and ul. Puławska. In July or August I just to had wait for the traffic light to turn green, now it queueing takes up to ten minutes. Walking and overtaking the frustrated commuters is much healthier.

The veritable hell on ul. Puławska will probably begin in mid-October, when the artery will be narrowed to only two lanes in each direction. Now, when all three lanes are occupied the traffic is almost stationary, no wonder commuters dread to think what happens when the one-kilometre-long section around the junction Puławska will become a bottleneck. I wonder how many of them will leave their cars in garages and on car parks and find an alternative way of commuting and what it would be.

Warsaw this summer was also dug up like almost never before. Ul. Emilii Plater (right), earlier paved with cobblestone has been modernised. Now drivers are able to use two lanes in each direction, bus lanes and cycling paths have been marked out, not yet opened. Construction works are still under way, new pavements for pedestrians should be laid soon, but we will have to wait a while for the DNA-shaped green belt with flowerbeds and benches designed for the space between the roads.

At the beginning of the second decade of September the most famous place in Warsaw became ul. Prosta, where the construction of second line of Warsaw underground kicked off. I took the photo to the right on 15 September around a quarter to nine in the morning. From what I have heard and seen, traffic is less dense than before ul. Prosta was closed, which sounds like a miraculous piece of news. Even streets parallel and perpendicular to ul. Prosta are less jammed than before. Everyone noticed, nobody can explain it. By the way, I stared at the green fence and wondered what it resembled. I did a double-take at the photo at home and I think I know – it brought to my mind the Berlin Wall. Am I the only one? The second photo to the right was taken after 11:00 as I walked to my office in Złote Tarasy. Ul. Prosta on its section east to Rondo Daszyńskiego was almost empty and looks like in off-peak hours this until today.

When using a car is ruled out and riding a bike is totally impractical there are two ways of getting into town left. One is a ZTM bus – they do not run as often as before the summer holidays, but still I do not have to wait for more than five minutes on a bus stop in Mysiadło for any ZTM bus to pull up. Then the journey to Metro Wilanowska terminus which starts at around 7:00 lasts around 35 minutes. It is that short just because bus drivers use the roadside as a bus lane. This means buses move much faster than cars, but journeys are more dangerous as vehicles pass lampposts and ditches by centimetres.

Actually what more can I say when I look at the traffic jam like the one right? I see a tractor with two trailers and the only thing that occurs to me is “everything except the kitchen sink”. I am of course wrong since I have not seen any horse-drawn cart on ul. Puławska yet. I can be grateful to my employer that it offers my flexible working hours. If I were to knock on at 9:00 as everybody does, my morning journeys would be around 20 minutes longer. And I still do not know which of available means of transport I should use from February 2011 when I return to work. Much will depend on the location of my office, but I am leaning towards something that does not involve using roads.

Even on the European Day without cars ul. Puławska was jammed, it was even more packed than normally, even in spite of the fact drivers were able to use public transport for free if they only had their vehicle’s registration certificates. The event was not publicised properly and, let’s face it – most people even if they knew about it would not have given up on using their cars for one day, it is a matter of habit, they cannot imagine having to travel inside a big vehicle with tens of other people. And another question that has just come up to me – how to persuade people who have company cars (company pays for the petrol and provides a car park) not to use cars? My colleagues who almost all have company cars cannot imagine commuting to the centre from Ursynów by the underground! One sales director who lives near the underground told me openly this June he had taken the metro for the first (and last) time in his life and had been really excited about the trip!!!

If not roads, then maybe rails. Unfortunately I do not have a suburban-zone ticket so I cannot board a Warsaw-bound train in Nowa Iwiczna without risking being caught by a ticket inspector. The only solution I have worked out is then to walk to Mysiadło, take any bus, ride two stops, get off and catch another bus that will take me to PKP Jeziorki and wait there for fifteen minutes for the train which according to the timetable arrives at 07:27. The journey from PKP Jeziorki to Śródmieście takes 35 minutes, so shorter than getting into the station, what actually makes the whole idea a tad absurd.

I treat it as a temporary solution because rare rail services to Warsaw are not an alternative for commuting into school where I start and finish classes at different hours and do not have flexible working hours. The thing which took my fancy on sunny mornings (if such arrangement of air pressure systems was in the winter, we would probably have –20C) spent partly on the platform of W-wa Jeziorki was the beautiful sight of all tracks coinciding in one point on the horizon, hidden in an early-autumn mist.

Commuting by train has one more advantage – given PKP Jeziorki station lies just next to the coal line, one can spot a coal train while waiting for a suburban train to town. Once I thought I would be given the pleasure of seeing and snapping one, however, the horn turned out to have been blown by a Radomiak - fast train running every morning from Radom to Warszawa, stopping only at some of the stations on its route.

Speaking about passing trains – I was tipped off that a train from Prague to Moscow runs through Nowa Iwiczna every morning around 9:20, so yesterday around 9:00 I cycled towards the level crossing in NI to snap a train. I was actually lucky to leave home earlier as the train also came earlier. I did not expect it to arrive so quickly so I stayed at the wrong, west side of the tracks which meant I could take photos against the sun only. I should have stuck around on the new P&R facility built next to the station from where I could snap the train lit by morning, late-September sun.

A pity this weekend were probably the last days of clement weather. I made the most of it by tidying up the garden on Friday, making a barbecue yesterday and washing the car today. Errr, is it a political topic that Polish parliament passed an amendment to the labour law on Friday, which declares the Epiphany (6 January) a bank holiday and takes away a paid day off which employers have to give employees to compensate for a bank holiday falling on Saturday? I should hold back from refraining on harping on about religion-related aspects of the resolution, although hitherto most people worked normally and if they wished, attended an evening mass. Now we will have a day off in the dead of winter, most people will not give a damn about going to the church or celebrating. From the comments I have read in the Internet I infer most people think the same as I do – we should have an additional bank holiday in spring (not on 10 April, I beg you) or summer when people can take a trip to the countryside, forest, cycle, have a barbecue, spend the day on their allotments. Most people have a rest on bank holidays, not celebrate them.

Meanwhile Polish president has a hard nut to crack – around a dozen Poles died tragically in a bus accident on the bypass of Berlin, Germany. Is it a reason to call national mourning as the late president would surely do?

It takes one cross to break out a row

This week’s bolt out of the blue was the decision to move the cross from outside the presidential palace to the chapel inside the palace, from where it will be moved to Kościół Św. Anny and then taken from there on a pilgrimage to Smolensk plane crash site on 10 October (if the pilgrimage will take place at all). The decision to has drawn another line of divide in the nation, but it has to be said over three-quarters of Poles, as shown by the survey carried out for Rzeczpospolita are of the opinion the decision was right.

Another poll, prepared for Gazeta Wyborcza reveals around two-third of Poles think the late president shouldn’t have been buried on Wawel. The figures speak for themselves – “Poland” doesn’t gather around the cross, Poland dismissed the efforts of Jarosław Kaczyński to make up for his twin brother’s (at best) ordinary presidency and establish him as a national hero.

This week I managed to persuade my colleagues that Jarosław Kaczyński is absolutely sane and what he does is a part of a well-thought-out scheme. This guy has a vision of a country, which actually doesn’t strike a chord with most people in Poland, so the only method to bring Poles round into his plot is to make them believe everything that has been built within the last two decades is evil, by means of discrediting most politicians (excluding himself, his brother and a handful of others, such as Jan Olszewski) who have run Poland in that period. If followed out successfully, it would give him a moral justification to take over power. To put it simply – he needs to destroy a lot to start over with his project.

And my colleagues managed to persuade me Jarosław Kaczyński is not capable of overthrowing the president or the government – the group of his followers is too weeny to pursue such scenario.

Now some quotations from the last two days and some questions triggered by them…

Będziemy musieli czekać do nowej władzy, by uczczono pamięć ofiar tej katastrofy, prezydenta RP w sposób właściwy i godny. Does it mean efforts to replace the authorities will be stepped up? Is it possible to agree on a clear-cut definition of commemorating the fatalities properly and with dignity? How sizeable and splendid should the monument be? (I know one dog owner who already has an opinion how big the monument of Lech Kaczynski should be).

Gdyby Polska była normalnie funkcjonującą demokracją, na scenie politycznej nie byłoby już premiera, Bronisława Komorowskiego, Radosława Sikorskiego, Bogdana Klicha i Tomasza Arabskiego - another insult to Poles, around fifty per cent of them still back PO. If democracy in this country doesn’t function properly maybe is it time to replace it with a better political system? A good example how a proper democracy works is Jarosław Kaczyński’s party – just speak your mind and feel the whip of democracy on your back, as Elżbieta Jakubiak did.

If defenders of the cross sang Ojczyznę wolną racz nam wrócić Panie, does it mean Poland is not free? Do those people realise comparing Poland under Tusk’s and Komorowski’s rule to the times of partitions, nazi occupation or being a part of Soviet bloc borders on a blasphemy and is a serious accusation?

Czułam się lepiej widząc, że cały naród płacze (Małgorzata Wassermann) - does anyone else feel better when millions of people cry?

Kaczyński says first lady’s presence in Smolensk would be inappropriate… Is resorting to moral blackmailing appropriate? Is it appropriate to point who should be active in politics and who shouldn’t? Is it appropriate to suggest so many Poles must be wrong to support PO? Is it appropriate to deny 28 families or anyone else a right to visit the crash site?

Ukradli krzyż Whose cross is it? It wasn’t put up by the defenders but by the scouts? They granted themselves ownership of the cross...

It seems the rough-and-tumble around the cross won’t last long. The defenders are running out of steam and more and more Poles are sick of watching that lousy comedy going on. If Jarosław Kaczyński keeps stirring things up, Poles will wipe him out from the political scene in the coming elections. You can say Kaczyński is wicked or mendacious, but he had a vision of Poland, now the focal point of his political plan is not a moral revolution, but glorifying his brother. Instead of building new motorways and railways he’d build monuments of the late president.

Every day I wake up with a sigh of relief. Let’s face it – Bronisław Komorowski is a mediocre head of state, but what would have happened if Kaczyński had been elected a president? Poland would have turned into a place where everything revolves around the plane crash, monuments, crosses, plaques, investigations, glorifications, passing moral judgements, blamestormings, recriminations. I doubt public discourse would be focused on real economic and social problems… By the way – has anyone heard any politician from PiS speaking about pension system reform, health service, public debt or any other burning issue? They gave voice when they put forward a bank tax, but in general the debate doesn’t centre around any issue that could help move Poland forward.

Polish politics spirals out of control

Last year I was on holiday on the anniversary of 9/11 and I didn't write about all conspiracy theories concerning those terrorist attacks. Some time ago the topics of “inside job” fascinated me, later on I gave all those dwellings up. Every time a big tragedy happens conspiracy theories proliferate. Probably a human mind tries to cope with what is beyond its understanding by coming up with most ridiculous explanations. The world is slowly forgetting about those tragic events, this year the run-up to the anniversary was marked by a plan of American pastor Terry Jones to burn Koran to demonstrate his objection to plans to build a mosque in the vicinity of ground zero in NYC. I wonder if the pastor realised his deed would be like a red rag to a bull – it could only provoke subsequent acts of violence from fundamentalist Muslims. Politicians’ reactions were very swift – world leaders firmly condemned and dissociated themselves from the disruptive plans and the pastor eventually called off the heinous event. I wonder what he wanted to achieve – what was the point in sparking off another conflict? After all don’t Catholics and Muslims believe in the same God but in a different way? Should relations between religions be based on mutual respect? Instead of dialogue we I saw headlines “World at the mercy of an idiot”. Does it prove power of one man?

In Poland despite cold weather it is getting only hotter. On Tuesday “Gazeta Polska” published an interview with Jarosław Kaczyński in which he envisages Lech Wałęsa will soon be discredited and after his name is dragged through the mud Lech Kaczyński will become a symbol of Solidarity. The late president indeed was a member and advisor of Solidarity, however his merits cannot be compared to those who really worked out a compromise with communist authorities and fought out some freedoms achievable in the limitations of political system based on dependence on Soviet Union. His brother’s designs look like nothing else but an attempt to make up for lack of big achievements in PRL and to get his own back on those who were building independent Poland after 1989 and were successful in politics. It seems to be inconvenient to him that twin brothers did little to go down in history and it justifies the steps taken to rewrite the history. “It’s us, not them, who should be heroes, who should be remembered by generations, who dismantled the communism, if the facts are evidence against us, the worse for the facts”, is what Jarosław might think. Jarosław says it is mean to say his brother’s presidency was not very outstanding (as Tadeusz Mazowiecki had said)…

Can finally anyone tell what Lech Kaczyński had done to be deemed to be an outstanding president? From 2006 he proved to be mediocre president steered by his twin brother, who failed to represent Poland abroad with dignity, was servile to his brother’s government and squabbled with Donald Tusk’s government, was unfamiliar with the rules of diplomacy, deteriorated Poland’s relations with neighbouring countries, favoured some social and professional groups, called national mourning every few months, appointed his henchmen rather than professionals for official positions in state administration and took umbrage at any occasion. Now any attempt to criticise the conduct of late president and refusal to glorify him and his heritage (was it said what his heritage actually is?) is treated as declaring war to the most outstanding politician after 1989.

Jarosław Kaczyński could not fail to suggest Poland is a Soviet-German colony what prompted a press conference held by politicians of three parties whose members sit in the parliament. All voiced their outrage at Kaczyński’s interview and expressed their disapproval of insulting Poland and Poles. Last week saw also two other unprecedented moves – Marek Migalski was ousted from PiS’ delegation to European Parliament, Elżbieta Jakubiak was suspended from her membership in the party for lack of allegiance. A journalist of Gazeta Wyborcza (imp)lies the most likely reason for that step was an alleged interview in which Mrs Jakubiak had said; “Jarosław must feel co-responsible for the death of his brother, if it had not been for his ambitions, Lech Kaczyński would have stayed on as university professor”… (BTW – where can this interview be found, article in Wyborcza lacks precise reference?!) Is it a key to the door?

The so-called System accused Kaczyński of insanity. What he does may seem to appear as a struggle of a blind man, but you should remember Kaczyński is a man of steel and never loses touch. In totalitarian systems dissidents were deliberately dubbed lunatics to detract from their “twaddle”. To my young eye Jarosław Kaczyński is in a top form, sane as never, knows very well what he is doing, has a plan to follow out and is determined to do it. In short his goal quite likely is to dishonour heroes of Solidarity, the current government and president. Consequently, he might be intent on building his brother’s legend as the only one who had moral rights to be a heir of Solidarity’s attainments. Calling current state officials Soviet or German servants sounds then as nothing else but invoking fear and an attempt to find any reason to tell Poles they don’t have legitimacy for running this country.

Kaczyński no longer cares about the support. He has his avid believers who hang on every word he says and would probably execute any order he would give, including bringing down the government by force. The rest of Poles turn their backs on the sane leader or don’t give a damn. The recent polls show PO enjoys support of roughly 52% of Poles, PiS of 25%, SLD of 20%. Many Poles have had enough of what has been going on. The rising backing for PO cannot be justified by their good rule, only by fear of PiS back in power. Good performance of SLD suggests their new anti-clerical strategy bears fruits. Is the diagnosis Poles are sick of privileged position of Catholic church in public life spot-on? There is still an empty space in Polish politics, Janusz Palikot claims, and organises a congress of his new movement which may become a new, truly liberal (in social and economic terms) party to fill it in. Is there a demand for such a party in Poland. Palikot’s views quite well overlap mine, but does a party or movement run by such a controversial lunatic stand a chance to exceed the 5% parliament entry threshold?

On Friday Gazeta Wyborcza published a letter of some of Smolensk crash fatalities’ families to the First Lady, who want to travel to Smolensk six months after the crash and take the cross from outside the presidential palace with themselves. It seemed it could be an excellent idea to commemorate the deceased passengers of TU-154 and to solve the problem of the cross. Predictably, self-styled defenders of the cross, supported by politicians of PiS denied them the right to move away the cross. How long will the Polish state put up with people who appropriated the symbol of tragedy which affected mostly families who had lost their relatives in that accident, and then granted themselves moral right to decide where the cross should stand?

Will Kaczynski’s crusade ever end? On Friday leader of PiS adjudicated current prime minister, president and a few prominent politicians of the ruling party bear a political and moral responsibility for the tragedy. Still I see no causation between PO’s alleged policy of bringing discredit on late president and the plane crash. The same could have happened to Mr Tusk if his visit had been scheduled three days later. Jarosław Kaczynski used imperative sentences – those politicians mentioned above have to disappear from Polish politics forever. In a democracy only voters can force them to step down, moral judgements passed by Jarosław Kaczynski either stem out of his lust for revenge for brother’s death or are a part of a more complex plan to sling mud at Polish government, aimed at proving Mr Tusk and Mr Komorowski must not exercise power. I also fear how this plan (provided it exists) may end up. Given the level of rancour in the Polish society, the readiness of ardent believers of Mr Kaczynski to rise up, his determination to glorify his brother and insult his political opponents, it is not inconceivable some people may take law into their hands… I read yesterday on Internet forums on WP.PL all recent Kaczynski’s actions may serve as a justification for a coup d’etat. If Poland is ruled by a Soviet president and a Soviet prime minister, who should be eliminated from the Polish nation (as the defenders of the cross allegedly chanted on Friday) because they contributed to the death of previous president and 95 other people, it is in the best interest of Poland to topple the government and depose the president. Hatred is in the air and unfortunately scenarios of riots, bloodshed or some sort of civil war, though rather unfounded, cannot be totally ruled out.

Out of sheer envy

In the United States being well-off is a reason to be proud, in Poland if you’re well-off, you’re dodgy. In the United States to be a successful politician one has to get ahead in personal life and be resourceful (in a positive way), in Poland you can become a prime minister without having a bank account, which incidentally guarantees transparency (in developed countries). “If you succeed in running your own business and pursuing your own goals you are likely to be able to run a country effectively” – this rule doesn’t necessarily have many advocates in Poland, but let’s brush aside politics (I’ll go on at that topic later on) and get down to earth, where ordinary Poles live.

I know I’m an immature observer, but I’ve been looking at Poles’ attitude towards money and wealth for some time and came to a conclusion this attitude is probably the biggest collective oddity in my country. The Polish nation had to live through forty five years of socialist economy, in which people theoretically were meant to be equal. It goes without saying that that system had two major pathologies: blue collar workers earned as much or more as university graduates and the people were divided into equal and more equal. The system fell apart mostly for economic reasons and the shift to free-market economy was quite abrupt. Masses slid into poverty, individuals could strike it rich within weeks. Under the new system, one’s material status depended much more on achievements (which were to a considerable extent conditioned on one’s parentage, family’s material and social status and genes that determined drive, intelligence, readiness for sacrifices and hard work). Today when I see myself at the bottom of the ladder of my professional career I strongly feel my own success hinges in 80% upon my own commitment, other factors seem less important. My life is in my hands, but still many people prefer to shift responsibility for their lives into someone else’s hands. It’s generally an easy option, because you can blame someone else for your failures. I can’t blame PRL for providing its citizens with social security on a satisfactory level (actually I’m even kind of grateful to the lame Polish state of that time, because it enabled my parents who came from very poor families to study for free and break away from poverty), but I blame the socialist system for teaching people to be passive and instilling in them the “I deserve” stance towards life. But generations pass and things are slowly changing…

Ask an American how they are and they’ll tell you “great”. A Pole would treat such question as an invitation to start a big whinge, including “I earn too little” as a main grudge borne against the world. Poles are a nation of grumblers (alright, this is partly a stereotype).

When six years ago my parents decided to buy a house it was a bigger problem for them how to explain to family and friends they had managed to set aside a considerable amount of money than to how to actually finance the house. To many people, setting aside as much as an equivalent of four middle-class cars at that time was out of reach. Coming into such amount of money, not really big, must have involved moonlighting, bribery, etc.

According to a popular belief being in possession of a significant amount of money means you must have come into it an not fully legal and honest way. Maybe this stems partly from the early 1990’s when some businessmen would earn fortunes quickly and to many people it seemed if they had worked hard for years didn’t reach as much as someone else within a few months, there must have been an element of crime in it. In fact some of the fortunes were not amassed legally, some were raised legally but immorally, this has surely taken its toll on Polish society, leaving many who couldn’t benefit from capitalism disgruntled.

A simple way to have a lot of money is to (not necessarily scrimp and) save, not spend what you earn foolishly, seeking out wise and profitable investments. Some investments, such as land in good location, start-up companies can be profitable with a bit of luck and often with a considerable dose of risk. But hey, nothing ventured – nothing gained.

In Poland if you succeed people are more likely to envy you than to be happy that you’re getting ahead. Often they pretend to be happy that you’re doing well but deep down they’re green from envy. “Don’t stand out, keep a low profile” is a catch-phrase in Poland, though its importance in social life is on the wane. The worst thing in it all is that quite often seeing someone else pulling off doesn’t motivate to strive to reach a higher lever, but rather prompt to think how to pull a successful one down.

Envy holds strong in Poland. Polish tax office receive thousands of denunciations from “affable” neighbours, friends, colleagues, all pleased to inform fellow taxpayers live beyond their means. Around 50% of the denunciations are legitimate and help Polish state raise money from dishonest taxpayers, but remaining round about 50% are groundless accusations arising from envy that someone else prospers, not the senders.

In politics there also two fringes which rose from the same anti-communist movement. But some had more accomplishment before 1989 and fared better in independent Poland, some didn’t have so many merits, didn’t go down in history and feel envy. Now it’s time to make up for it and rewrite the history, if necessary, also out of sheer envy.

Times are changing, people are changing. My generation is no longer ashamed of having money, I have money, given my age surprisingly much, some put aside by my parents, some inherited after my grandfather, some earned, all not spent foolishly, but wisely invested. I’m proud I managed to amass it and make it work effectively. I heard accusations that I came to some of these money in an obscure way, since those are profits from playing the stock market. But stock market is for people, one has to know how to handle it to reap profits. Besides, my capital gains tax on stock market transactions for 2010 will probably hit four digits so I’ll be pleased to share my wealth with fellow taxpayers. May other Poles fare even better than me, their happiness will be my happiness.

A short story about the price of trust

Till some time ago I thought the price of mistrust was much higher, but the moment I had to pay the price of trust I changed my mind.

Karol (name deliberately changed) joined my class almost exactly ten years ago, when we were beginning our first year at middle school (gimnazjum). I don’t even remember if he sat behind the same desk I sat, or was it me who joined him in. As a rather sociable person he quite easily found his way around us (we’d been together as a class for six years on then), though I can’t say he would get along with everyone for the next three years of middle school. Soon by dint of sitting next to each other we became good mates, though I could never say we had ever been friends. We were just good classmates, spent some time after school together, but surely weren’t friends for good and bad times.

Karol soon became the best student in our class and later even in the whole school. Teachers deemed him to be impeccably well-mannered and he soon also became an exemplary pupil. In fact as we all knew he was not just extraordinarily clever. He was a typical “smarty pants” – no one else would get away with getting a bad grade when being unprepared for a lesson, no one else would wriggle out of being punished for cheating during a class test. For some reason he had a charm which worked on all teachers, but my classmates and I weren’t impressed with his continuous wheeling and dealing.

Karol somehow also had an inclination for trying to outfox everyone around, but not everyone could discern it. Many people, including my parents warned me against him, I treated those advice seriously, but they didn’t dissuade me from helping him putting into practice some of his stillborn ideas. Fortunately, it never ended up badly for me, so actually I could have gone unharmed out of this friendship… Within those three years there were many conflicts within our class, but even despite falling in love with the same girl (who eventually chose him) somehow we didn’t fall out, all tribulations didn’t tear us apart.

As I dropped in on his house quite often, I met his parents and older brother, Adam (name also changed), who incidentally attended the same high school as I did, so we had an opportunity to get to know each other better. Although born to the same parents they were totally different – Adam was a paragon of virtues, Karol kept trying to outwit the whole world around.

With time we my friends from middle school fell in with new companies from high schools, old friendships began to break off. Karol and I met usually met in a bus, since we both commuted to high schools to Warsaw. From time to time we called each other, sent text messages, wished happy birthday or merry Christmas. We hadn’t been keeping in with each other since the beginning of our studies in 2006. Occasionally I met his brother in a bus and when I asked him about Karol, I’d usually hear his inclination for wheeling and dealing had only intensified (to Adam’s discontent).

Karol turned to me a few times in 2008 and 2009. Every time he had a great deal to strike but he was hard up for cash and asked me to lend him some few hundred and later even few thousand zlotys. Every time he claimed he had an opportunity to earn thirty to fifty per cent or so and promised to share profits with me, but never revealed what the gooses that laid golden eggs were. As an economist I know such opportunities generally don’t happen in the real world and each time his loan requests were rejected by me.

On 31 May 2010 a text message from him hit me out of the blue. That time he didn’t write about any profitable (read: shady) business to be done, he said we was in an urgent need of money (2,500 PLN) because he had to pay a bill (lie( of a student organisation he was in charge of (lie). The organisation was about to have its expenses reimbursed within a week plus he was about to get his salary within a few days as well. What he described were just some liquidity problems he temporarily had. He managed to earn my trust by offering to meet quickly and sign a loan agreement that would secure the repayment. On that day I was in the middle of exam period and didn’t wish to bother to meet him to sign a stupid piece of paper.

At the beginning I lied to him I had all my money in stocks and investment funds and it would take me three days to turn the assets to cash, but later on I gave in. I transferred to him 1,000 PLN since I realised this was a quite risky move and of course we didn’t meet up to put any signatures. I know very well why I did it, actually despite myself. Just before it all happened I had painfully experienced a blatant example of mistrust and I told myself the relationships between people could not be founded on mistrust, hence my half-baked decision.

Karol offered to return all money four days later in cash. He offered to come to my house, but as it was the day after Corpus Christi downpour I was busy tidying up my garden I asked him to transfer the money to me next Monday. The other reason was that my parents still don’t know about the sunk money – I somehow don’t fancy hearing the “Haven’t I told you” phrase…

On Sunday he asked me to lend him another 500 PLN, I refused. The money I had lent him didn’t appear next Monday, moreover, Karol stopped answering his phone and writing back to my text messages. Soon his voice mailbox got jammed and I realised things must have gone pretty nasty. I got in touch with his brother who promised to tell him to call me, his mother couldn’t tell me where I could find him. Karol’s behaviour became more and more mysterious.

I had a few phone calls with Adam in June, which consisted in reading between the lines. In early July we finally talked openly. Adam politely asked if I had given his brother any money and if Karol hadn’t given it back to me, I politely confirmed to find out I was a bit out of luck. Karol would behave strangely for the last four years, he moved out from home in 2009. For the last two years his family had been paying his debts until they ran out of cash. They decided not to run up their own debts to repay Karol’s obligations, so all debtors who turned to them were simply rebuffed. Karol managed to ruin financially his quite well-off family. From what I could infer from what Adam had told me, I estimate his all debts could total to around 100,000 PLN. Staggering? During the open conversation in early July Adam told me Karol had assured them he had found a job and promised to give his family a half of his salary. Till now (I called Adam yesterday) they haven’t received a single zloty from Karol. He tritely explained it away by telling his employer hadn’t paid him yet. Adam and his parents still remember about my ten stoovers and still openly declare they will transfer it back to me as soon as Karol gives them the money. I don’t hold out much hopes for getting the money back, but given the very good stance of Karol’s family, there’s still a glimmer of hope. I’ll treat this thousand as a windfall if it ever comes back to me.

Never mind the money now. One thousand more won’t make me much happier, one thousand less won’t make me much sadder (but wiser?).

How come? He used to be the best student in the whole school, everyone spoke highly about him, he was held in high esteem by everyone. Everyone said he would be really successful in the future. My teachers from middle school would never believe in the story above.

And the roles reversed. Seven years ago his family was much better-off than mine. Karol had brand-name clothes and footwear, would go on holiday abroad two years in a year, had all electronic gadgets. At the same time I had clothes from normal shops or from a supermarket, I within those three years I was abroad once for a week and spent two third of my holidays at home and didn’t have all newest consumer electronics devices – my parents were scrimping and saving to buy their dreamt-up house. Today my family’s and mine financial standing is satisfying, his family is flat broke and he ended up as a downright cheater.

I wonder what Karol feels now. I’d be surely conscience-stricken having done something so awful. I wonder how it feels to borrow money with an intention not to give it back. When I talked about it with Scatts two months ago he said in the UK he would never make a down payment for a house without securing it properly, which is normal in Poland. In the UK, in turn, he would lend someone a few hundred pound right away, in Poland he wouldn’t hope to get the money back. Cross-cultural differences?

And how did Karol manage to get into such debts? Stock market? Not that easy. Gambling? Possible. Leveraged risky deals is for me the most probable explanation. If you borrow a lot to increase your profits and it doesn’t work out you’re left with huge debts. That probably dragged Karol (and his family I feel sorry for) down.

Some tie the knot, others clam up.

Yesterday I attended one of best friend’s wedding ceremony. Michał turned out to be the first of my close friends to decide to get married so early. I don’t know what prompted their decision, I didn’t dare to ask openly, but to dispel your suppositions I can tell his new wife isn’t up the stump spout; nor even they plan to have children within next five years. But for some reason they surely wanted to have their relationship formalised. Meanwhile I couldn’t attend another wedding which was held in Tomaszów Mazowiecki (ca. 150 kilometres south-west of Warsaw) just an hour later. Another friend and her boyfriend also tied the knot.

The wedding was kind of sad – number of people in a church (Bazylika Archikatedralna im. Św. Jana Chrzciciela in Warsaw Old Town) reached around 60, including around 20 of my age. I didn’t meet any acquaintance from school. I feel sorry for the newlyweds – as far as I’m concerned they had invited much more people and most of them didn’t bother to show up. How come? Will it happen to me one day? Will my friends cut me dead? Will they choose to lie on a beach, go for a weekend or stay at home and stare at the box instead of keeping me company on one of most important days of my life?

I handed them a gift, wished all the best in the new leaf they were turning over and headed back home. Michał and his new wife settled on not throwing a wedding reception and money not lashed out for one-night extravaganza they spent on refurbishing a flat Michał’s wife inherited after her late grandparents. Not luxurious and located on Bródno, but their own, they don’t have to take out a mortgage, which is a really great advantage. Here I go along with their decision, but many guests could have thought there was no point in going to the church if the newlyweds didn’t provide any blow-out and disco.

For the second consecutive day I passed by the cross outside presidential palace. Still thousands of tourists from Poland and abroad hang around there and a few grannies still pray to the cross and involuntarily are photographed by the tourists.

As the title goes some of my peers quite traditionally set up families, but most of us have other priorities in life. We cherish independence, carefree life, career, money, living it up, flexibility, self-development, etc. But isn’t it all about taking a path of least resistance? Isn’t it easier to live on one’s own? You don’t have to mind your second half’s feelings? But is it happier? I know some people are destined to be lonesome and feel best when no one’s around, company of other people winds them up and simply can’t get along with anyone in a relationship, but is it normal? Human being is a social creature, hence I suppose it naturally needs to socialise with fellow social creatures.

I recently had a great opportunity to observe how the pick of my generation behave. I have no idea how discernible my eye that time was, but I strongly and sadly feel we seem to a broken generation. We have no problems making friends, co-operating and communicating with one another, we can absolutely normally have fun. When necessary we are professional and career-minded, when not we have other priorities, but there’s one disturbing trait we have in common. We are all hidden in our own shells. Always smile on the face, always the awe-inspiring look that exudes self-confidence and courage. People who meet us are always amazed at how well we know what we want from life, how clear our visions our are, how eager to move ahead we are.

But who knows about our problems? Who knows when something’s eating us? Who knows when we feel helpless, disillusioned? Who knows when we’re keeping a bold face (cause that’s what we’ve been taught) while deep inside we’re falling apart? For sure at least ninety per cent of us are not callous robots but ordinary humans who hold back their feelings and carry on, even if each and every cell and tissue deep in our chests is aching. Why? Is it a matter of the new culture I wrote about a week ago?

I have one close friend whom I can tell everything and who can confide in me and reckon for understanding and honesty. I have a few close friends with whom I can talk about some personal issues, but not very intimate, those are people I can rely on in slightly difficult situations, but if push came to a shove I’d be wary of turning to them for help. I have many friends with whom I talk about what are not problems – the fact I bought some stocks and their price dropped is not a problem (unless I invested all my savings in one security and the price really tumbled). And I meet tens of people with whom I just have small talks and do businesses. Our co-operation is based on mutual indifference – meeting up and going separate ways. I don’t think it’s bad, if we wanted to take care of everyone’s quandaries we’d soon go crazy, but… have you ever thought about it in such a way?

I heard several times opinions modern, young career-focused single women are unapproachable and I can’t find any argument to give lie to that (widespread?) opinion. What do we think we stand for by doing so? Have some of us built a glass wall aroudn them? Are we proving our toughness or are we desperately trying to conceal our fragility? What is it going to lead my generation up to? Are we a broken generation? Who the hell can break through the shell?

Strange are these days for me. I’m not down in the dumps but I feel a kind of anxiety, for many months or even years I haven’t felt that insecure. Plus for four days in a row I drank. On Wednesday and Friday socially, on Thursday and yesterday without any company, just to bring the “proper” frame of mind. From today on I’m going to give it up as this certainly shouldn’t become a habit. Does something need to be rearranged? Am I at a crossroads? No matter what happens I’ll be carrying on, as I’ve been doing for years. But when will I run out of strength?

Entrapped by the freedom

This is one of few postings that really fits the title of the blog. Prompted by Adthelad I finally found three hours to watch “The Trap” – a documentary by Adam Curtis, broadcast by BBC in March 2007. Instead of reviewing the film, I’ll have a try on commenting on most of the concepts outlined in it. Sorry for a bit chaotic post, high temperature combined with high air humidity is not conducive to writing, believe me…

1. Is the freedom we experience true or is it just an illusion?

2. Human nature – the authors of the documentary quote many theories, according to which humans are self-serving, dishonest, pursue their own advantages at the expense of others. It seems that a goal of an average man is to outwit his fellow man. No matter how true that notion is, the question which is still hard to answer is whether those bad traits are inborn or are they shaped over the course of upbringing? Some research carried out both in developed societies and in pristine communes prove the heart of human selfishness and cruelty lies in our genes. If those behavioural patterns are instinctive and all attempts to root them out are doomed to fail, the rational conclusion is to learn to get on with them and to harness them to make our lives easier. The answer according to some thinkers is to design a society based on natural leanings – if humans pursue their own interests, the most efficient system is such giving room for unleashing our obscure instincts and behaving rationally, on the basis of cool calculations. In such an environment, clever creatures surely are aware that their fellow men will try to outwit them, what results in social interaction based on mistrust and suspicions. Other people are your rivals, life becomes a race, the goal is to hit your enemy before he hits you…

3. Game theory – maybe this concept does not answer one of basic questions – whether people are good or bad by nature, but rather puts emphasis on readiness to cooperate. As some scientists point out, all our moves have to be in line with strategising – anticipating what other people will do or think. Game theory was put into practice on a large scale during the cold war and actually it founded the moves of both enemies on fear – but is fear bad? In finance – yes, in life – just take a look… Social and legal sanctions prevent us from committing crimes, not our conscience – the authors argue. So is it true that we don’t kill one another, don’t steal goods from one another mostly because punishments hold us back from doing it?

4. Politics – post-WW2 notions of the state stressed the importance of strong administration which would protect people from blows dealt by the invisible hand of free market (which, as said in the third episode of the film, doesn’t exist). A lean state can’t cope with all problems and control everything so an overgrown bureaucratic apparatus has to be created. With time, bureaucracy becomes an independent structure which pursues its own advantages and no longer focuses on helping people. Instead, a maze of procedures, regulations, laws, documents begins to hinder actions taken by the humans. In economics, some individuals get discouraged and have no more patience for striving for anything, what translates into lower economic growth rates. The way to overcome that tendency was introducing mechanisms which would make use of the dark side of human nature – so if state officials are indeed self-serving, their stance ought to pay off!

5. Performance targets – was a crucial tool harnessed to achieve the goal described above. Unfortunately, the creators of that solution probably failed to predict wicked humans would always find was to circumvent the rules of the system. Bank salespeople were walking around cemeteries and taking down names of the deceased to sell them credit cards. Hospital managers removed the wheels from wheelchairs to cut down on the number of patients on wheelchairs. In communism there were plans, przodownicy pracy and some other absurdities, figures in the plans were deliberately lowered to exceed it, now the race towards efficiency makes workers focus on the targets. The pressure to reach inflated goals creates temptation to tamper with figures. Thank God my job is assessed on the basis of quality, not quantity. A system of targets was meant to encourage individuals and teams to compete (like on constructions sites of socialism), in turn the outcome was often opposite as in the case of school rankings – rich children go to better schools, clever, but poor go to worse one and so the gap is growing!

6. Having touched upon the schooling, the film raises also the issue of social mobility, limited in the culture of freedom. Here what comes to mind is a question about the role of government in fighting inequality. In my view, governments should target inequality and keep it on optimum level, that is not so big that it hampers development (the poor stand no chance of social advancement, so there is no incentive to even try) and not so low that there is no incentive for striving any goals. On optimum level, the state offers opportunities for those who are too poor to receive proper education but have potential to grow and then leaves them alone as grown-ups. A sustainable development is in long-term impossible with high inequalities – those disadvantaged will sooner or later vote for populists who will point at the guilty of their misery and the effects of toppling the old system will be piteous.

7. Maths and numbers generally have become a new deity for the advocates of the new system. But think if everything can be measured and calculated – quality, satisfaction, happiness, freedom? Can we use complex mathematical models to describe economy? Would they prove useful on stock markets where prices are driven by decisions of millions of investors, which in turn are driven by thousands of more or less rational premises? My take on the issue is that psychological phenomena generally are very hard to measure and sometimes bringing in numbers might bring more harm than good.

8. Who the hell has the right to adjudicate what is normal and what not? Human character and psyche are too complex to be described with numbers and even if someone does so, it would mean unification – the same model for all people, when people are so different. Who wants to kill humanity by killing diversity, when beauty of mankind consists in diversity. Who created a culture of happiness, ideal traits, perfect people, etc? The pursuit of the ideal pushes millions of people into mental disorders every year. Young, ambitious, creative, flexible, clever, slim, brave, dynamic, enthusiastic, open-minded, sun-tanned, well-travelled, well-dressed, go on for hours… There is an image of ideal woman / man, but when the pursuit of ideals contributes to our development and when it leads up to obsessions? If you don’t fit in, should you feel worse off? Are those who want to break away from the rigid codes of happiness labelled mad?

9. And finally, let’s ask what the freedom actually is. There is a distinction between positive and negative liberties. The former is identified with leftist concept of freedom, the latter with the rightist. This has not been mentioned in the film, but notice that right-wing and left-wing politicians define freedom in different ways. Lefts will say you’re free to have an abortion, rights will tell you should be free from tax burdens… The most absurd thing is that freedom can be imposed – as no one can be forced to be happy, no one can be forced to be free. Freedom is not built in to many cultures and people have been getting on with it for centuries, as in Muslim societies, now somebody wants to step in and say he knows better. Attempts of imposition of freedom ended up with violence and cruelty. I also think military interventions were not launched to liberate suppressed nations but for other ends. And end justifies the means…

WARNING - The passage above is quite obnoxious.

Imagine dear reader you and I sit in a bar, sip beer, but you’re despondent, have some problems and can’t really enjoy the meeting. Your face shows sadness, but I want you to have fun because it’s good for you. You can’t overcome the sadness so I shout at you and tell you I want to see a f**king smile on your f**king face. When you don’t smile I grow impatient and beat you to a pulp and finally you smile, out of pure fear that in the next bout of anger I may break your limbs, crunch your ribs, scoop out your eyes. Is what is written above normal?

So what the word ‘freedom’ means? For me – RESPONSIBILITY, readiness to be bear consequences of my deeds and decisions, not the right to do whatever I want and not pursuit of my happiness. And the role of a government is to protect me, but not from myself, but from other self-serving people.

Many threads are deliberately unfinished just to trigger a discussion.

On crosses, rants, presidents and would-be presidents

But before I dwell on the current issues my apologies to Adthelad. Regrettably, I did not find time to watch “The Trap” so understandably I cannot review it today. When will it happen? Hmmm… Pending…

I had a second busy week at work, but everything seems to indicate the pressure is going to ease up a bit in the coming days so maybe three evenings will be enough to watch three parts of the documentary, jot down some key points and remarks and then put it together and share on the blog with the readers.

From the beginning of the year weather has had many swings and has surprised Poles many times. This week’s stars were storms and downpours: one on Tuesday, another yesterday. If meteorologists are right, today we should expect a repetition of yesterday’s show. I have guests today, so there might be a bit of a problem, or a necessity to put them up overnight.

This week has been extremely hot in the politics. On Tuesday Poland witnessed an attempt to move the cross from outside the presidential palace. The operation was scheduled for that day, as an agreement between the scouts (who had put up the cross), the Church (cross is a religious symbol) and the presidential office (it is their premise) has been reached. Predictably, unrelenting defenders of the cross (excellent rant by fellow blogger Scatts, I fully back him) blocked the whole operation, the state gave in and the cross is still left outside the palace and a group of weirdoes are still guarding it. Many leftist and liberal commentators hailed the Tuesday events as the failure of Polish state. I partly agree, for the following reasons:

1. Poland is theoretically a secular state so this symbol should not be present in a public space, in front of one the most important official edifices, but on the other hand it is no longer a religious symbol, it is a purely political symbol. The cranks who scuffled with the police on Tuesday called priests “communist secret service agents in disguise” and named scouts “Bolsheviks”, as befits truly religious Catholics. They pray during their sentry, but I wonder to whom – I do not think to God, this is the shrine to late president Kaczynski, I suppose. The cross is a political symbol (and no mistake?).

2. Why can a group of people appropriate a public place and a cross they didn’t even put up. In most countries such an illegal assembly outside a public building (unless there’s a reason for it, as it was during the mourning in April) would be gently scattered to four winds. Here, as the defenders of the cross point out with unhidden satisfaction, the System was totally HELPLESS. The System was overcome, the anarchy is victorious. But it is not the fact that this cross is still there that fills me with dread. I don’t care if there is a cross, two crosses, one thousand crosses and how many PiS-lovers chain themselves to them. There is a Polish proverb which goes roughly: “Let them bite your finger and they’ll eat your whole arm”. I am afraid once the state has succumbed to their claims, they will be impudently eager to break other laws.

3. And there is a reason why I am content the cross is still there. Bearing in mind how dogged its defenders are, the operation of moving it to a nearby church would end up with a bloodshed and those injured would be made martyrs. And sorry to say that, I would not swallow it. I heard double Dutch about martyrs who died in a plane crash (or rather were murdered by the System) and I would surely lose my temper if heard about a PiS-believer wounded or, Heaven forbid, killed by the functionaries of the System.

BTW – look at how Moscow looks today – the fog over the capital of Russia is the best evidence to support the hypothesis that Russians can create fog and they did it in Smolensk on 10 April ;)

I fully understand why Mr Komorowski is reluctant to move into the presidential palace. I would also feel uneasy if outside my house picketed a group of people who would call me a traitor or find me an illegitimate president.

PO once again proved to be too timorous to get to grips with some contentious issues. Two months ago I thought PO was in line with my moderate social views. SLD with its ostentatious anti-clericalism was too leftist for me. Today, if the only criterion for voting for a party were social views and I did not give a damn about the economy, I would vote for SLD…

A propos economy. What do you make of the plans of VAT hike? Am I one of the minority who think it is necessary and justified. In my perception of economic policy a balanced budget and low public debt are more likely to guarantee sustainable economic growth than low taxes which generate deficits. I have never been optimistic about moves of PiS-led government which cut taxes and other burdens when the economy was booming. Such moves are apposite when economy is in the doldrums to stimulate it, not when the growth is running at 5 or 6 per cent per year. It was like adding fuel to the fire and it contributed to current budget setbacks. Everyone knows Polish social security system is ailing, but is it a reason to cut its revenues (sickness benefit contribution) without cutting down on expenses? The same about taxes – taxation rates went down and at the same time government spending was boosted. What do I make – the objective of the government should be to generate budget surplus, through both raising taxes and retrenchments. Low level of public debt means government is unlikely to increase taxes and this certainty creates a really friendly environment for businesses. The move made by PiS in 2006 was very short-sighted and those who benefited from it surely were not the voters of the party.

Breaking news – Mr Kaczynski’s statement on the Mr Komorowski’s swearing-in ceremony.

For those who do not know yet, Mr Kaczynski was absent at that ceremony. One version is that he had to pick up his mother from a hospital (I wonder if he used a private car for it and paid for it from his own purse) and surely fortuitously arranged for the day when the ceremony was scheduled to be held, the other is, as deputy Mariusz Błaszczak had said, that Mr Kaczynski’s absence was obvious in the light of how critical PO politicians were about his brother. Hang on, is it not normal in democracy to be critical about someone else’s rule?

Now some quotes from Mr Kaczynski’s today’s appearance.

1. To zaprzysiężenie było wynikiem śmierci mojego brata i i moich bliskich (That swearing-in was an implication of my brother’s and my relatives’ deaths)
Rebuttal: If you had become a president it would also have been because of their deaths. If your brother was alive he would run for presidency, not you!

2. Sądzę, iż w dużej mierze został on wybrany prezydentem przez nieporozumienie, bo jestem przekonany, że bardzo wiele osób, które na niego głosowały zapateryzmu w Polsce nie chce (I think it was a considerable misunderstaning that Mr Komorowski was elected a president, I am convinced many of his voters do not want Zapatero-like policies in Poland).
Rebuttal: Mr Komorowski is too timid to take steps characteristic for leftist social agendas, but he was elected because many leftist voters put a cross against him to choose the lesser of two evils. As far as I can see around, most Poles want the cross to be removed from outside the palace, but they do their bits and do not protest, those who want the cross to stay there make the noise. It would have been a misunderstanding if you had been elected a president. Mr Komorowski did not lie about his Catholicism and has not used religion to wage a war against “enemies” (you love that word, do not you, it is one of your favourites). You told stories to Poles about your change and returned to the rhetoric of aggression after the lost election. If you had won, you would have done the same, it is natural for you. The result of recent election many Poles put stock in your change. Soon, when they realise you are just a mendacious man with lust for power, the support for your lousy party drops. And after all rows over the cross the one who gains will be SLD.

Over. Just a month ago I did not bear any grudge against PiS, its voters and acolytes, today I would hold back from declaring that. I think I lost my temper.

Polish mileage cult and other motoring curiosities

No, I didn’t forget to take the camera, the batteries were down and it takes 16 hours to recharge them so I used a crappy camera of my Nokia 3110 Classic.

Now try to guess how old the car whose odometer is shown on the picture above is. Those who read PES carefully and regularly will surely have no problems giving the correct answer.

Now you’ll ask: “How come?”. Normally such a mileage is typical for a two-year-old car. The prescription is simple: do not use a car when it’s not necessary. Firstly – cut down on short journeys – if your destination is less than 3 kilometres / 2 miles away, there’s absolutely no use taking a car, unless there’s a serious justification, such as: something heavy to carry, driving an ailing person to a doctor, doing big, weekly shopping, etc. Secondly – use alternative means of transport – for healthy people bike is an alternative, as long as the distance is below around 20 kilometres, weather is permitting and a cyclist doesn’t have to dress up. Public transport, whenever cheap and reliable makes a good solution. I can see no point in getting around the centre of Warsaw in any other way, mostly given the shortage and cost of parking space there. So the low-mileage car has been used for mid-distance journeys three of four times a week and as I counted it’s had nine long (at least 300 kilometres to a destination and back) trips.

Poles as a nation have a peculiar approach to cars, which are still the symbol and benchmark of social status. Few people buy new cars, the most often quoted for it are financial and utilitarian. The first group includes: high price, depreciation in value of 30% in the first year, high costs of insurance and servicing. A key argument from the second group of reasons is that there’s no point in buying a new car if the roads are bad, an old car can be repaired by any mechanic in any road-side garage and generally if something bad happens it won’t be a pity.

Poles buy used cars, but change them very often. Changing cars is like climbing a ladder of social status – a Pole starts with an 18-year-old Fiat Uno (a model example to the right), a few months later changes it for a 16-year-old Ford Fiesta, after two years buys a 12-year-old Volkswagen Golf and after next three years sells it and purchases a 9-year-old Opel Vectra. The next step is swapping an almost new Vectra for a brand-make German car, such as BMW, Audi or Mercedes, no matter how old and rickety it is – the make matters! It’s very difficult to find Poles, who, in spite of their low income decide to buy a new car once in ten years or more and replace it with a next new one once maintaining the old one is no longer cost-effective. Just compare how well-maintained first-owner cars are and how those which change hands three or four times look.

It goes without saying that if few new cars are sold in Poland and Poles want to buy used cars, the demand much surpasses domestic supply and so we have import used cars from our Western neighbours, who no longer want to drive those clapped-out bangers and sell them for a song to our home-grown car traders. As a result Poland has become a scrap-yard of Western Europe, an average car in my country is 12-year-old…

An average Pole, although cash-strapped, is a picky buyer. What determines technical condition of a vehicle is a mileage. This measurement is actually very imprecise. Compare two cars which covered 30,000 kilometres – one used in town only (traffic jams, etc.), the other driven on motorways. How an owner of a car maintains it and uses it also matters. We all know all vehicles brought to Poland from Germany are first-owner, non-accident cars used by well-off, over-cautious German grandpas who used it once a week to drive to a Church, kept it in a garage and polished its bodywork from dawn to dusk, therefore mileage after twelve years is 100,000 kilometres or less. If the mileage is too high it means a car’s wear and tear disqualifies it as roadworthy, so a natural reaction of a car trader who deals in high-mileage, but well-maintained car is to roll back the odometer. It might be quite natural, as they’re just trying to earn a livelihood by trading in cars, but it looks more absurd when they come into a low-mileage car in showroom condition, whose owner for some reasons wants to dispose of it. Low mileage is dubious, so to make the car more credible traders tamper with the odometer to increase the mileage. After some research I carried out I can tell you the optimum mileage (for a Polish buyer) is between 15,000 and 20,000 kilometres per year…

Changing odometer’s readout is illegal – some of you would argue. Actually not, you can correct the readout to show the mileage you want to see as often as you want and do it legally. It becomes a crime when you do sell a car and do not inform a buyer what the actual mileage is. Every company which provides services of correcting odometers’ readout has on its website a disclaimer or reservation that correction is legal as long as a new owner of a car is informed about the actual mileage.

But isn’t rolling back the odometer a kind of self-delusion? Odometer should truly and fairly show the distance a car has covered…

And don’t ask about buying the 42,243-kilometres car. First-owner, non-accident, low-mileage cars and rarely for sale!

Will we ever take in death?

Birth is a miracle. Actually the very act of conception is a miracle, the very fact that a new life is created and developed almost out of nothing. Just two cells brought together can produce a new human being. There is one causation of why people are born, but they die for thousands reasons. We never know when and how we will pass away, who will survive us and who will depart before we reach the end of our time here.

Death is also a miracle, only we somehow fail to accept it. A birth, quite naturally, is accompanied by joy. Usually when something begins people are happy and when it ends they tend to be sadder. So the death should involve sadness, which has its specific name – mourning. Symbolised by dark clothes is in fact a state of mind, the way humans try to cope with bereavement. It has several stages, from shock and disbelief up to picking up the pieces and trying to live a normal life, reconciled with the tragedy. What happens to us after the decease remains a secret. The body dies away, but what happens to the spirit? Christian theology comes up with hell, purgatory and heaven – three places where departed souls can reach in the afterlife, depending on their conduct on earth. It is still a mystery and I suppose the fear of death most of us feel is the fear of the unknown, of turning into non-existence.

The thoughts of transience did not haunt me without any specific reason. I have a weird habit – on every New Year’s Eve I wonder if a coming year will be good or bad. The only criterion to determine is if I would attend any funeral. Last seven years were not good in this respect, this year was good until Thursday. I came from work and heard of my mother’s cousins death, premature (she was just 58), but not unexpected. For the last ten years she had been fighting cancer. In the first battle fought in 2000 and 2001 she managed to overcome the disease. The tumour was dormant for next seven years and made itself felt in 2008. For a year therapy proved successful, aunt could function normally until July 2009, then her health began to deteriorate. Her doctors did not let up until the beginning of the previous week. Until then there was still a glimmer of hope…

Today I attended the funeral…

Regardless of the ceremony I felt some sort of anxiety. Exactly on 24 July a year ago my mother underwent a complicated surgery with some complications. I never felt as scared as on that day, those misgivings returned this year and coincided with the funeral. The feeling which keeps me company every day got so intense – is the end round the corner? We all have learnt to get on with it or to drive it away. My colleague leaves the office. Will she be back there tomorrow? Will she not be killed in a traffic accident on her way home? Will I return home safely? Will my both parents be alive in a year? Who will die first, mother or father? I ask such questions a few times a week, I have done so for many years and did not go crazy. How come? I wonder if anyone on 10 April 2010 had doubts if members of Polish delegation to Katyn would return home safely…

The relationships in our family were not very close and I did not take this loss very personally, nevertheless as every such event it made me ponder upon the fragility of human life.

This funeral was in a way odd. Firstly, I have never seen so many people weeping so loudly and openly at a funeral. Secondly, I treated the ceremony as a review of human reactions to bereavement.

My aunt was survived by:
1) Mother, my grandfather’s sister. I saw her at her husband’s funeral four years ago, I saw her at my grandfather’s funeral two years ago. Then she was dejected but she was bearing it up. It was the fourth funeral at which I saw mother crying over the grave of her child and it only strengthened by conviction nothing worse can happen.
2) Husband. I haven’t got a clue why, but many men refuse to accept how seriously ill their wives are and the death comes to them as a bolt from the blue. Women are harder, they have more courage to face up to critical situations, men try to deceive and delude themselves. Is it a way of coping with what they are not capable of coping with? God knows, they end up shocked, in tears.
3) Son. She had never been really proud of him. I looked at his face and my only diagnosis was disbelief. After two days it was still possible.
4) Sister. The most sane in the whole close family, despondent, but seeming to have got through the most difficult phase of mourning.
5) Granddaughter, aged 14. She could not help weeping during the whole ceremony. It is the age when teenagers find it hard to get to grips with their emotions, not the best time to see a member of family fading away and departing much too early.

I had more luck. When my maternal grandmother died I was only 4 and did not understand what was going on. When my maternal grandfather died I was 20. I was more mature and surely found it easier to tackle his decease. He was 87 then and died totally naturally, out of old age, in his sleep, without unnecessary suffering, having received last rites, ready to pass away. At least it gave some relief.

My paternal grandparents are both 84, they still manage on their own, but one day they’ll surely depart. When? How will I react? Uncertainty crops up once again…

And once again the world did not come to a standstill, although seemingly it should have…