Sunday, 5 January 2025

When the love runs out

With hindsight, dissimilarities between were so stark that calling ourselves a perfect match would have been a gross exaggeration. As we shook off the fascination and affection of the first months together, ample differences grew apparent, while the power of attraction waned. Facing the daily grind, while living under one roof has accelerated the realisation of the inevitable.

We talked a lot. We had many sincere conversations many couples probably do not have over their lifetime. It has not helped though. For several reasons, including my inhibitions, I was repeating a mistake of holding back speaking out about stuff which annoyed me, thus accumulating my anger.

The very decision to break up was mine, yet my ex-girlfriend, having got over the initial tremor, acceded to it and after a day or two, internalised it. I feared we would spark a hell on earth in my fifty square metres. Instead, we went separate ways peacefully and calmly. Had it happened a few months earlier, we would have fought for it, there would have been screams, shouts and tears. As the romantic feeling between us has definitely and (probably) irreversibly burnt out, we have reconciled with the imminent end.

We could be friends, travel companions, even flatmates (actually we acted like flatmates during the last weeks of our romantic relationship’s agony), but we our approaches to life diverged too much to give us a chance to raise a family. The gap between us was too wide, so even if we would both bend over backwards to go on compromise, each of us would depart from their self.

At times that relationship was toxic, at times unbearable, at times I just felt like quitting it right away. We are both smart, so our common senses told us both it would not just be uphill, it would get very steep. After two years and five months together, even with proper climbing equipment the ascent became an onerous ordeal. That slope became just too steep and rocks fell off it too frequently.

On Friday, after three days of getting on with each other surprisingly well under one roof, my ex-girlfriend set off to Wisła (I will miss stays there), mostly for the sake of consistency with the decision taken and mental hygiene.

There will be ups and downs on our ways to mend the broken hearts. We are now facing the unknown, including the uncertainty if we ever find our life companions.

But before we open ourselves for new opportunities, we will need to go through the logistics of the break-up. Tenants occupying my ex-girlfriend’s flat are deeply disconsolate to have to look out for a new dwelling. In question is our trip to USA rescheduled for April / May 2025, but I believe it is too early to resolve if to go there and who the participants will be.

After weeks or even months of struggling doubts I feel a bliss relief, which only validates it has been the best possible decision (given in such circumstances there are basically no good decisions – this one was “least bad”).

Sunday, 29 December 2024

2024 comes to an end

A concise year-end summary. This time writing does not come easy to me, as I need to bring together some thoughts, cope with clashing emotions and resolve something.

2024 was a first full year of living with somebody under one roof. This is not the right moment for any stories of how we got along (or not) with each other over that period. I once signalled the relationship is not a bed of roses. Now I can assert it is full of spikes and the roses have withered.

In February I started out a new job for the same employer. I followed my ex-boss and joined his new team. Upsides: more reasonable workload, jumping back on a learning curve, slightly higher pay. Downsides: at times monotonous transactions, being tied up in corporate politics and administrative stuff. For some time I will not seek a new position inside the bank (by March 2027 I am bound by company car repayments on preferential terms, with high penalties if I terminated the contract before its maturity). I shall give myself some more time to verify if work in that team gives me sufficient self-fulfilment and satisfaction.

In early spring I got my vehicle upgraded. So far my Skoda Octavia has covered over 10,000 kilometres, almost nearly in long-distance journeys. I am generally content with the new car, despite electronics going bonkers (common glitch in contemporary cars) and some minor defects, which I need to sum up and make a warranty claim to have them fixed.

The event which has taken its toll most on me were my health problems with the lumbar spine. Being immobilised was a traumatic experience. Currently I still have some aches in my spine, but the memory of days when the pain was so acute that a walk to the toilet was a journey of a lifetime ensures I find no excuses not to exercise at least once a day.

Travel-wise, the trip to USA did not materialise due to aforementioned health problems. This was supposed to be the only major trip in 2024, so other travels were less frequent, shorter and rather local, with Czech Republic and Slovakia being the only destinations abroad.

Wishing you all guys all the best in 2025. Keep healthy and take care of yourselves!

Sunday, 22 December 2024

Szlachetna Paczka - edition 2024

A thing of the past is becoming my fifth edition of Szlachetna Paczka as a volunteer. Sadly, it was the second-worst after 2020, when spreading benevolence was harshly hampered by Covid-19.

You could put it down to some sort of burnout. Ahead of the final weekend I also hatched such idea, but with hindsight I realised this has not been the case. Many things have gone wrong from scratch, with knock-on effect only worsening the final outcome.

I blame the most the leader, in charge of our area in 2024 edition. Having the experience from 2022 in mind, I refused to repeat a stint in that role and to be consistent with my decision, I strived not to be a back seat driver. Frankly speaking there has been no chemistry between us, but so was the case with all experienced volunteers. The guy lacked balls, lacked charisma, lacked drive and such spark that brings a circle of people together. 

Volunteers were not motivated properly; as a result we found far fewer families to be visited than in previous years. This year 65 families were visited and 42 onboarded (proportions from previous years: 2023 - 85/54, 2022 - 84/53, 2021 - 73/46). 

Visits to families started out with a two-week delay. Consequently, instead of 20 families published on the directory opening day, we had merely 4 to be picked by most precious donators.

Besides, there was a country-wide problem with donators, bigger than 2 years ago, but miraculously it was solved around a week before the final weekend, most likely thanks to a vivid media campaign. When the outlook was really bad, I bended over backwards to find donators, however I felt dreadfully lonesome in my endeavours.

The volunteers in our area also were not doing their best, some of them dropped off along the way. Maybe they were not properly guided or motivated, maybe our line-up was tainted by bad luck.

The final weekend did not go as smoothly as it used to over last 3 previous years. Logistics-wise, it came to a major chaos, like never before. I'm still trying to figure out what combination of factors contributed to that mess. I believe most were beyond my control, with electric lorry's battery down after 80 kilometres - it had to be replaced by a diesel-powered one with half a million kilometres on the clock... I could have planned transports with more headroom, which will be a lesson learnt for next years. But had I been a minister responsible for logistics, after such series of cock-ups, I would have been forced to hand in my resignation (in a civilised country).

The joy of delivering gifts to families wassimilar to experiences from past edition, however it was accompanied by much greater fatigue. Luckily, I got over it quite quickly. Bad memories fade quickly, but the benevolence-induced delight remains for much longer and keeps me company in the period of peace and serenity which commences now.

Sunday, 8 December 2024

Park linearny - construction progress inspected

Last Monday, as I attempted to make the most of the clement weather (cloudless skies, day-time high of +7C), I ventured to the nearby construction site, where a linear park is built on areas above the Warsaw southern bypass tunnel.

The quite recent makeover of Park Cichociemnych lasted a year and a half and set a nefarious benchmark for the other restoration. Here, works commenced some three months ago and are relatively advanced, so I can hazard a guess it might become a hangout for locals in spring 2025.

According to the original concept, the park was supposed to splay out between ul. Pileckiego and ul. Rosoła, yet west of ul. Stryjeńskich the car parks where residents of ul. Kazury keep their vehicles remain intact. I would keep fingers crossed for turning them into greenery, but realise those cars would choke up other areas in the neighbourhood.

Looking east from ul. Stryjeńskich. A lot has been done, but the spot is way from completion. Plenty of workers potter about, probably also to move ahead with works, as long as autumnal weather permits.

In the middle of the area there are still large undeveloped areas ul. Płaskowickiej. Those will be most likely meadows, as lawns are out of fashion these days. Note the absence of tall trees. They could not put down roots here, as a few metres beneath the ground surface is the concrete ceiling of the aforementioned tunnel.

For children, one sees a small playground in the centre of the park, with what will become swings is currently fenced off to discourage those intent on using the unfinished amenities.

East of ul. Braci Wagów builders have their backstage spot, with mounds of soil, stones, sand and other stuff they need. The moon-like landscape brings to mind the early days of Ursynów, when the district was devoid of nearly any infrastructure.

Close to al. KEN, one can come across Miś Ursynek, a landmark symbol of the district, bringing out some associations with the cult Polish film by Stanisław Bareja. This piece is not just a decoration, it also will serve as a slide to smaller children.

As the inspector nears al. KEN, the proportion of area concreted over gets disturbingly high. This will not make this spot human-friendly on hot days. Paved areas ought to be scaled down to a bare minimum. In the distance, traces of some works under way are seen beyond al. KEN. Sadly, I lacked time to take a look out there.

The next post due in two weeks, as on next Saturday and Sunday falls the final weekend of Szlachetna Paczka.

Sunday, 1 December 2024

Where is the war heading?

Two events in world politics from November have passed so far unnoticed on PES. I did not bother to comment on the victory of the narcistic redneck in the US presidential election. Then came the scheduled event, to my positive surprise, echoing in the media – 19 November 2024 was the 1,000th day of the invasion to Ukraine. Those forgetful are now reminded the operation was planned to last three days and end up in installing a puppet government in Kyiv.

Nearly three years after those days Russia controls roughly 20% of the Ukraine’s territory and is slowly progressing. Faced with an imminent power handover, the democratic administration in the US have resolved to allow Ukraine to hit military targets in Russia with weapons delivered by them. This seemed a game changer, but in fact solidifies a stall in the conflict.

Time before the redneck and his cronies takes over is running out. He intends to freeze the warfare, plausibly by leaving territories held by occupiers within their borders. For Russia it means some areas in the Kursk region would stay under Ukraine’s control. If such scenario is the most likely, Ukraine should strive to take over an even bigger territory of Russia, as this decreases odds of Russians agreeing on warfare freezing.

Shortly commenting on the Trump’s victory – I hope once he is sworn in, he will be less unpredictable than he appeared in the campaign and he will be surrounded by wise advisors holding back his silly conceptions. Besides, Europe must act now, as if it was left to its own devices, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

Sunday, 24 November 2024

Krynica Zdrój in November

Back from the longest holidays in 2024. The initial plan was to fly to the US west coast, then an idea to venture somewhere to the Mediterranean region was on the table, but was abandoned, due to long journey duration. Eventually, we ended up driving to a resort in southern Poland for a few days.

The was my first holidaying in November. Unlike most people who take days off in the bleakest month of the year, I did not head for an exotic, warm destination, but stayed in cool Poland (November 2024 might be the first month in the current year with mean temperature below long-term average).

Before we set off to Krynica-Zdrój, we popped over to Wisła to drop off the dog to my girlfriend’s parents. We stayed there for the long weekend, to avert sky-high accommo- dation prices and turned out to be lucky to enjoy full sunshine, unlike nearly the rest of Poland. On 10 November, exactly two months after the worst moment of my ailments, I took the dog, the trekking sticks and climbed a mountain for the first time since the malady hit me. My walk to the picturesque hill of Cienków involved a five-kilometre hike (there and back) with elevation gain of 250 metres. The descent was worse than the ascent, as somehow I did not lose my fitness, but the steep path in a mud, with a dog hauling me was a bit of nasty.

The very town of Krynica-Zdrój loses some of its charm in November, but with no crowds in place, one can take delight in beauty of building erected on the side of the main precinct, dating back to Austro-Hungarian realm, especially shyly lit by autumnal sun.

The monument commemorates the most famous artist to ever reside in Krynica Zdrój. Nikifor, a local primitivist artist, whose talent was accidentally discovered and spread worldwide. His painting skills compensating him for shortcomings in other areas – he was said to be retarded enough to require a legal guardian.

The areas surrounding the town are full of viewing platforms. The closest one, located in Słotwiny Park gives a chance to relish on splendid views of Jaworzyna Krynicka (here, shrouded in a tiny layer of snow) or the town seen from above.

Looking at the valley where the centre of Krynica-Zdrój is located, a blend of manifold architecture styles is eye-popping. Lack of order in that respect remains the plague in several Polish towns and cities. Partly it is a testimony of communist days, when obnoxious hotels and blocks of flats were built among old residences, the rest of monstrous edifices are put down to profit-chasing capitalism.

We stayed in a five-star hotel, one of two or three in Krynica-Zdrój. I will not mention its name. I would stay overnight in such places during business trips, but this was the first time I paid my own (reasonable thanks to low season) money for such accommodation. The choice was dictated by amenities in the hotel – a large swimming pool, a sauna and a gym, whose daily usage of which was supposed to speed up my recovery. The standard is closer to luxury than to comfort and the surfeit was not something which has taken my fancy. Politeness of the staff verging on servility does not boost my ego. Plenty of food served for breakfast for few occupants must have gone to waste. Daily unwanted change of towels (we hung them instead of throwing to the floor) and room cleaning was a waste of resources to me too. Keep in mind the term “greenwashing” comes from the hotel industry.

During the holidays I have put some strain on my spine (doing sports every day, three other hiking trips). This has clamped down on the progress of my recovery, but should somewhat accelerate it in the coming weeks, unless I spend too much time sitting.

Sunday, 3 November 2024

A tram to Wilanów

I took a photo coverage of tramway to Miasteczko Wilanów under construction once, in September 2023. The urban rail link to a housing estate built from scratch in the twenty-first century, being a symbol of new-rich self-styled elite and the biggest cluster of anti-PiS voters in Poland, has been one of the flagship investments in transport infrastructure in the capital of Poland.

The two years when it was under construction were a major ordeal for everyone living along it. It had been scheduled to be opened at the beginning of September 2024, yet after a customary delay, tram services were launched without ribbon-cutting on 29 October 2024.

Given the workload, the necessity to spend times of exercising to recover, the short day and other excuses, I had no opportunity to spot the tram in Wilanów, hence no snaps with time.

Wilanów is now connected to central Warsaw with two tram lines, numbered 14 an 16. The latter connects the district with Metro Świętokrzyska, one underground station away from where my office is located. To reach the office at 8:30 a.m., I need to leave home at 7:47 a.m. If I lived in a distance of a five-minute walk to a middle stop in Wilanów, i.e. Świątynia Opatrzności Bożej and if I gave myself a two-minute headroom for reaching the tram stop, I would need to leave home approximately at 7:40 a.m. This means the commute is just less horrible than it used to be.

Lack of decent transport links is one of many reasons I have never been fond of Wilanów and haver never considered taking up residency there. Back in 2012 one could easily buy a brand-new unfinished flat from a property developer for below PLN 7,000 per sqm, while Ursynów was 10% more expensive. Today Ursynów is some 10% cheaper than the neighbouring district.

While a tram remains superior to a bus, given the current infrastructure, it is by no means a truly fast alternative, unless there is no bus lane. Its movement is hampered by numerous traffic lights, albeit it should be given priority over passenger cars. Besides, stops are scattered quite densely (which is not a drawback in general terms); consequently speed of a tram journey drops well below 20 kmph.

Despite some complaints above, I appreciate the new tram route and hope it cuts down on the traffic congestion and air pollution in the capital.

Off for some belated holidays in the Polish mountains over the next two weekends, hence the next post due on 24 November. Will I kick off writing a regular winter timeline by then?

Sunday, 27 October 2024

Recovery enters the second phase

As my health has been getting better, I switched from self-focus to more universal topics, yet if I want to keep records of those nasty days for posterity, a periodic follow-up is a must.

Just after the recent health-related post I went for a two-day corporate off-site some one and a half hour away from home. I endured the journeys (behind the wheel) there and back relatively well, yet agenda of the event necessitated too much sitting and gave too little time for lying-down breaks, hence it somewhat slowed down the progress of my recovery. If such delay was the price to pay for spirit-lifting socialising, for my body it was affordable.

The series of five collagen injections into tissues surrounding my lumbar spine is completed. I feel markedly better, but still I am way off normalcy. My doctor has set a checkpoint in mid-November and then he will recommend, whether to take me on for a hospital treatment. It would be a one-day stay, not a regular surgery and after spending a sizeable sum of money at his practice, he would fix it up for me under the public health insurance (such is the path to being admitted to a public hospital in Poland quickly).

This week my rehabilitation has commenced. I few years ago I would not use the word "rehabilitation" in such context, as I deemed it to be a false friend. After consulting some reputable monolingual online dictionaries I have changed my mind, although in does not sound naturally to me.

The memory of my disability is fresh and gruelling and I am determined not to let it repeat. Discipline in exercising is hence a must.

The physiotherapist who takes care of me has ordered me to return to normal activities, including sitting when working, bowing down, carrying moderately heavy weights and short-distance cycling. Following her advice means having to cope with already bearable pain; confronting it is essential if I am to get rid of it.

She also claims a full recovery with a relatively short list of forbidden activities is utterly conceivable. It will just take patience, discipline and require building muscles and stretching all parts of body which are not damaged, as my lumbar spine is.

Sunday, 20 October 2024

As good as it gets

While writing about the two previous romantic relationships, I kept track of ups and down we had had. When it comes to the ongoing one, in place since July 2022, no coverage of crises can be found here. I realised it recently, but cannot come up with the idea, why the numerous tribulations along the way have not been committed to the blog. I believe my friends have absorbed my squirts of emotions and what was talked over did not have to be put in writing to be gotten over.

One post inspired by a quarrel with my girlfriend was the one on the tendency to put things back. Today I detest procrastination even more after nearly a year of living under one roof.

Are we a perfect match? From scratch I could have doubts if we hit it off despite stark dissimilarities which at the beginning seemed unsurmountable, but eventually I decided to give it a try, making allowances for my negative perception, potentially skewed by a depression episode ongoing then.

We had our first crises still in 2022, including the most serious one in late November 2022. The notion was we were worlds apart. Then we began negotiations - a lawyer and a banker sat for nearly ten hours and brought their worlds together for a while. During those long conversations we have set some rules, yet divergences remain outstanding including some serious ones.

1. Children - I would prefer to have two, she at first considered remaining childless as a primary option, then persuaded herself to become a mother, yet to an only child. I realise she will be pregnant for nine months and by dint of pure biology she will be an infant's primary caretaker, therefore now the consensus is to have one child and then decide if we want a second one. I recently read the major cause of poor demographics are not childless people, but those sticking to one child only. How true...

2. Attitude towards money - I am rather thrifty, think twice before spending money and easily sacrifice current consumption to save for durable goods. With my minimalism I also make do without stuff which brings other people joy. She does not throw money about, has substantial savings, has never had debts other than already repaid mortgage, but on the other hand, she spends money with far bigger ease than me and at times holds it against me and accuses me of tight-fistedness.

3. Priorities in life - for me family, duties, helping others, work, spending time outdoors. For her - carefree life, work, sport, then family, but with a reservation she needs time for herself.

4. The daily life - for me business before pleasure. Duties need to be handled without further ado, once they get done, I can relax. I appreciate doing things on my own, like order and cleanliness. She fosters time to rest, while duties can wait and if possible, should be pushed aside.

Given the above there is a gap between us, yet there are couples who carry on broadly happily despite such differences. With similarities life is easier, with dissimilarities, there is room for complementing each other.

Should we split up? At such age (I'm turning 37 in December) it is not easy to find a reasonable woman, therefore the decision is between living a lonely, peaceful life and ups and downs of raising a family, any family. As I look around I see many people who have compromised and spend lives with companions anything but ideal. On the other hand, the major cause of divorces in Poland is not infidelity, nor violence, nor addictions, but a "mismatch of characters", a wide term used when couples are sick and tired of unsuccessful attempts to get on with each other.

I often wake up to ask myself whether I am living my life, whether I have not allowed by girlfriend to shape my life beyond the boundaries of my comfort and reasonable concessions inevitable in a relationship. I have fully embraced looking after a dog, which was a brand new experience to me. But her attempts to teach me to like lavishness or fancy eating have gone in vain. On Thursday I read a joke. What combo of factors is a frequent story behind a divorce? He did not change the way she wanted, but she has changed not the way he wanted. So true...

As we had a good streak during the summer, I planned to buy a diamond ring and pop the question during the trip to the USA. For health-related reasons none of the above plans has been followed out. With current ups and downs and uncertainty regarding future I have put those plans on hold. But back in August I told my friends at such age and after such relationship duration a man is faced with take-it-or-leave it dilemma.

On Monday I had a frank conversation with my parents. I broke the rule relationship tribulations should not be talked over with relatives. They have not had many opportunities to look at us, but turned out to be surprisingly insightful. Nothing new has been said then, but it occurred to me I have made a lot of mistakes in terms of not being assertive enough and not striking a balance between giving and taking. At such stage it might be difficult to make up for those mistakes, but after all, if we have built so much together, maybe instead of pulling it down, let's try to fix it.

Sunday, 13 October 2024

Zygmunt making the headlines

35 years past Poland's transition into free-market economy, the time ensues for several entrepreneurs to retire. Their businesses are usually either handed over to descendants or sold to third-party investors. Succession in Poland has not been an issue brought up frequently. Until recently...

Family issues of Zygmunt Solorz-Żak are now like episodes of a gripping TV series. The very character is a media and telecommunications tycoon, controlling the largest private TV station, a satellite TV platform, two telephony and internet providers and also a power plant on top.

Divorced twice, until recently fostered relationships with three of his adult offspring, born to him by his two ex-wives. All three children were more or less successfully involved in running his numerous businesses. Half a year ago he married Justyna Kulka, aged 50, i.e. nearly two decades younger than him. The third marriage is cited by many as the source of problems and sparked a battle between the tycoon's children and his new wife.

I will not summarise the intricacies of the dispute, especially since we still know less than more. Everyone who saw the streaming of the extraordinary shareholders' meeting held last Monday might have serious doubts about Mr Solorz's capacity to make informed decisions and exercise control over his businesses.

In Poland, where everyone is an expert in any area, tribulations in the media empire are widely commented. Mr Solorz and his relatives are avidly judged. Only few commentators point out Mr Solorz might do whatever he wants with his private wealth. This assertion could be true, yet it is not, for the sake of a single important detail. Several of his businesses are listed on the Warsaw Stock Exchange. Their prices have declined by 10% to 20% since the turmoil commenced. Several small investors, institutions and pension funds have seen a chunk of their wealth evaporating. For such reason, the decisions of succession may impact virtually anybody, so are not just his private stuff.

From a banker's perspective, the stock market's reaction is absolutely justified. Mismanagement may send a sound business under quite quickly. I have seen smaller companies going bankrupt in the wake of conflicts between shareholders. For Mr Solorz’s businesses the path is longer. Mr Solorz himself does not take decisions, but can instantly appoint and oust senior executives, which means already gives sizeable potential for disruptions.