Recovery enters the second phase

As my health has been getting better, I switched from self-focus to more universal topics, yet if I want to keep records of those nasty days for posterity, a periodic follow-up is a must.

Just after the recent health-related post I went for a two-day corporate off-site some one and a half hour away from home. I endured the journeys (behind the wheel) there and back relatively well, yet agenda of the event necessitated too much sitting and gave too little time for lying-down breaks, hence it somewhat slowed down the progress of my recovery. If such delay was the price to pay for spirit-lifting socialising, for my body it was affordable.

The series of five collagen injections into tissues surrounding my lumbar spine is completed. I feel markedly better, but still I am way off normalcy. My doctor has set a checkpoint in mid-November and then he will recommend, whether to take me on for a hospital treatment. It would be a one-day stay, not a regular surgery and after spending a sizeable sum of money at his practice, he would fix it up for me under the public health insurance (such is the path to being admitted to a public hospital in Poland quickly).

This week my rehabilitation has commenced. I few years ago I would not use the word "rehabilitation" in such context, as I deemed it to be a false friend. After consulting some reputable monolingual online dictionaries I have changed my mind, although in does not sound naturally to me.

The memory of my disability is fresh and gruelling and I am determined not to let it repeat. Discipline in exercising is hence a must.

The physiotherapist who takes care of me has ordered me to return to normal activities, including sitting when working, bowing down, carrying moderately heavy weights and short-distance cycling. Following her advice means having to cope with already bearable pain; confronting it is essential if I am to get rid of it.

She also claims a full recovery with a relatively short list of forbidden activities is utterly conceivable. It will just take patience, discipline and require building muscles and stretching all parts of body which are not damaged, as my lumbar spine is.

As good as it gets

While writing about the two previous romantic relationships, I kept track of ups and down we had had. When it comes to the ongoing one, in place since July 2022, no coverage of crises can be found here. I realised it recently, but cannot come up with the idea, why the numerous tribulations along the way have not been committed to the blog. I believe my friends have absorbed my squirts of emotions and what was talked over did not have to be put in writing to be gotten over.

One post inspired by a quarrel with my girlfriend was the one on the tendency to put things back. Today I detest procrastination even more after nearly a year of living under one roof.

Are we a perfect match? From scratch I could have doubts if we hit it off despite stark dissimilarities which at the beginning seemed unsurmountable, but eventually I decided to give it a try, making allowances for my negative perception, potentially skewed by a depression episode ongoing then.

We had our first crises still in 2022, including the most serious one in late November 2022. The notion was we were worlds apart. Then we began negotiations - a lawyer and a banker sat for nearly ten hours and brought their worlds together for a while. During those long conversations we have set some rules, yet divergences remain outstanding including some serious ones.

1. Children - I would prefer to have two, she at first considered remaining childless as a primary option, then persuaded herself to become a mother, yet to an only child. I realise she will be pregnant for nine months and by dint of pure biology she will be an infant's primary caretaker, therefore now the consensus is to have one child and then decide if we want a second one. I recently read the major cause of poor demographics are not childless people, but those sticking to one child only. How true...

2. Attitude towards money - I am rather thrifty, think twice before spending money and easily sacrifice current consumption to save for durable goods. With my minimalism I also make do without stuff which brings other people joy. She does not throw money about, has substantial savings, has never had debts other than already repaid mortgage, but on the other hand, she spends money with far bigger ease than me and at times holds it against me and accuses me of tight-fistedness.

3. Priorities in life - for me family, duties, helping others, work, spending time outdoors. For her - carefree life, work, sport, then family, but with a reservation she needs time for herself.

4. The daily life - for me business before pleasure. Duties need to be handled without further ado, once they get done, I can relax. I appreciate doing things on my own, like order and cleanliness. She fosters time to rest, while duties can wait and if possible, should be pushed aside.

Given the above there is a gap between us, yet there are couples who carry on broadly happily despite such differences. With similarities life is easier, with dissimilarities, there is room for complementing each other.

Should we split up? At such age (I'm turning 37 in December) it is not easy to find a reasonable woman, therefore the decision is between living a lonely, peaceful life and ups and downs of raising a family, any family. As I look around I see many people who have compromised and spend lives with companions anything but ideal. On the other hand, the major cause of divorces in Poland is not infidelity, nor violence, nor addictions, but a "mismatch of characters", a wide term used when couples are sick and tired of unsuccessful attempts to get on with each other.

I often wake up to ask myself whether I am living my life, whether I have not allowed by girlfriend to shape my life beyond the boundaries of my comfort and reasonable concessions inevitable in a relationship. I have fully embraced looking after a dog, which was a brand new experience to me. But her attempts to teach me to like lavishness or fancy eating have gone in vain. On Thursday I read a joke. What combo of factors is a frequent story behind a divorce? He did not change the way she wanted, but she has changed not the way he wanted. So true...

As we had a good streak during the summer, I planned to buy a diamond ring and pop the question during the trip to the USA. For health-related reasons none of the above plans has been followed out. With current ups and downs and uncertainty regarding future I have put those plans on hold. But back in August I told my friends at such age and after such relationship duration a man is faced with take-it-or-leave it dilemma.

On Monday I had a frank conversation with my parents. I broke the rule relationship tribulations should not be talked over with relatives. They have not had many opportunities to look at us, but turned out to be surprisingly insightful. Nothing new has been said then, but it occurred to me I have made a lot of mistakes in terms of not being assertive enough and not striking a balance between giving and taking. At such stage it might be difficult to make up for those mistakes, but after all, if we have built so much together, maybe instead of pulling it down, let's try to fix it.

Zygmunt making the headlines

35 years past Poland's transition into free-market economy, the time ensues for several entrepreneurs to retire. Their businesses are usually either handed over to descendants or sold to third-party investors. Succession in Poland has not been an issue brought up frequently. Until recently...

Family issues of Zygmunt Solorz-Żak are now like episodes of a gripping TV series. The very character is a media and telecommunications tycoon, controlling the largest private TV station, a satellite TV platform, two telephony and internet providers and also a power plant on top.

Divorced twice, until recently fostered relationships with three of his adult offspring, born to him by his two ex-wives. All three children were more or less successfully involved in running his numerous businesses. Half a year ago he married Justyna Kulka, aged 50, i.e. nearly two decades younger than him. The third marriage is cited by many as the source of problems and sparked a battle between the tycoon's children and his new wife.

I will not summarise the intricacies of the dispute, especially since we still know less than more. Everyone who saw the streaming of the extraordinary shareholders' meeting held last Monday might have serious doubts about Mr Solorz's capacity to make informed decisions and exercise control over his businesses.

In Poland, where everyone is an expert in any area, tribulations in the media empire are widely commented. Mr Solorz and his relatives are avidly judged. Only few commentators point out Mr Solorz might do whatever he wants with his private wealth. This assertion could be true, yet it is not, for the sake of a single important detail. Several of his businesses are listed on the Warsaw Stock Exchange. Their prices have declined by 10% to 20% since the turmoil commenced. Several small investors, institutions and pension funds have seen a chunk of their wealth evaporating. For such reason, the decisions of succession may impact virtually anybody, so are not just his private stuff.

From a banker's perspective, the stock market's reaction is absolutely justified. Mismanagement may send a sound business under quite quickly. I have seen smaller companies going bankrupt in the wake of conflicts between shareholders. For Mr Solorz’s businesses the path is longer. Mr Solorz himself does not take decisions, but can instantly appoint and oust senior executives, which means already gives sizeable potential for disruptions.

A new "normalcy"

My recovery, progressing slowly since 10 September, is taking me back towards "normal" functioning. I do still feel gratitude for being able to walk (yesterday I wandered five kilometres, which two weeks ago was totally out of reach), to drive a car, I cherish every moment without pain. Yet my life remains far from how it looked like until early September. I still work mostly from bed, sitting is confined to half an hour (which indicates how far I can drive), cycling or recreational sports are still forbidden, but I got a green light for a swimming pool. Same as many household chores and DIY tasks, which have become my hobby. Szlachetna Paczka also involves carrying heavy boxes to beneficiaries. Unknown is the list of activities forbidden to me in the long term. I realise I will have to come to terms with some limitations.

Early this week I received MRI description. The wait was long, yet the very description was duly and comprehensively drawn up. Some excerpts are dreadful (forgive me not consulting a dictionary to translate all the stuff I find hard to grasp in my mother tongue), yet my doctor says it is not as bad as it reads and in a few weeks I will be back fit.

In the third decade of October physiotherapy should kick off, once I get a green light for it, my recovery should speed up. Most likely I will continue to work from home, so my workmates should not expect me to show up in the office until December I suppose.

Although in my off-work lifestyle is not sedentary, hours spent behind my desk have taken their toll on spine, even despite an investment into a fancy (home) office chair I made in June 2020. I still don't know how the problem of having to sit eight hours a day five days a week will be solved. Time will tell. Same about longer travels, for the time being impracticable.

There are moments when I believe everything is going to shape up and moments when I am filled with gloom. If at the age of 36 I have experienced such mobility disruption, then what will my spine by like in three decades? I thought depression would be my biggest health problem, yet with properly prescribed medicines it is under full control and has not broken out even in the last tough weeks.

I slowly tame the thought one day a surgery might be the best solution and the only chance for a normal life. If so, provided doctors recommend it, I will opt for the least invasive method involving shorter recovery. I will not count on the public healthcare. Over the whole life I have saved money also for a rainy day. In case of a downpour I will not hesitate to break my bank to ensure I have superior medical service.

Writing a diary of my disease has reminded me what blogging is about. The notes written now will be a testimony of what I have gone through and how I have felt. I am sure I will revisit those posts several times. The read will hopefully fill me then with appreciation of health and remind me merciful fate should not be taken for granted.