More than a hangover

Blogging continuity is a virtue itself, so despite headwinds I am leaving hereby a short note, saving for posterity the outcomes of my folly. On Friday a few lads came over to my place. We emptied too many bottles. This resulted in a severe punishment from my body, which on Saturday refused to put up with the excessive alcohol intake the evening before.

The entire day wasted, so with other duties to get on with during the weekend I need to put back my posting on the Ukraine until next weekend. Already roughly fine, but still feel the effects of noting eating a crumb yesterday and having my digestive system irritated by throwing up the Friday evening’s content yesterday morning. A proper poisoning past me.

Not asking for sympathy, just facing the music. Past this bout of crass stupidity I will hold back from going overboard with alcohol for a long time.

Any room left for romantic love?

The timing of the post, i.e. one day after the commercial festival of celebrating romantic love which should be fostered every day, is haphazard. Also, it is not linked to the 17th anniversary of launching PES (dammit, this blog spans nearly my entire adult life and in four years, if I carry on, it will cover a half of my lifetime).

As I grow older, I also turn less romantic and more pragmatic. I would probably be unable to fall in love like a teenager, but circumstances permitting, the chemistry in my brain would do its job for a while, but I would put it down to mostly to sexual drive, not just to pure affection. As the fellow blogger posits, understand your biology, then rise above it.

Even if I don't stay at home and grab opportunities to meet new people, rules of statistics are against me. Even if I get to know 20 new people each week, which looks like a decent outcome, statistically half of them are men, most women are not in the age range of my lookout, those who are in their 30s might be in relationships, might not be physically attractive, might not find me attractive, might not be interested in raising a family. And so the next filters relentlessly narrow down the circle of potential life companions.

My generation is the first one not to feel the coercion to raise a family, which now looms as an option only for those who instinctually don't want our species to extinct. We are also witnessing a generation of independent women, cherishing equal rights, with the side effect of realising having a man by their side does not have to add value. Being in a relationship is viewed as beneficial if drawbacks of giving up on a woman's independence are offset with a surplus by what a man contributes to the relationship. Otherwise a male life companion is (for a growing fraction of women) a ball and chain. With the bar raised that high, a growing majority of men do not live up to women's expectations, some even give up on trying.

For many reasons, including the above, we observe a growing percentage of singletons in the society, many of whom have never been in a serious (involving making commitments or living under one roof) relationship, thus many lacking relationship-building competencies. Once you get used to living on your own and not minding anyone, letting in somebody to your life, changing habits, routines and plans involves some effort. This remark applies to me. In my life filled with work, volunteering, friends, helping parents, doing sports and other stuff, I also need to choose to make room to let somebody in.

Women and men are sadly at war today. The most common explanation, which is true, but not universal, is that women have moved ahead with their social advancement, while men have not caught up. In more complicated cases it turns out even those men who do not lag behind are insufficient, since they meet only 90% of women’s expectations are hence are not knights on white horses. Women are sick of bitter experiences inflicted by immature men, men are sick of women’s exorbitant requirements. Their picture of the conflict between females and males is grossly simplified. Besides, movements such as MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) are not fix. Taking umbrage with how the world has moved on and blaming women for their own backwardness and other intellectual hollow is an approach I will never embrace (mark my words).

Stowarzyszenie Wiosna brought to account

My charity involvement experience in 2025 - has already been comprehensively summarised and since then, I have not changed my mind with respect to far-reaching criticism towards Szlachetna Paczka's arrangers. The 2025 edition will be finalised for me in late March 2026, when a sofa, ordered just recently and replacing a shoddy one bought online by donators and returned to the shop, is delivered.

In one of the discussions past the final weekend, the leader asked about Stowarzyszenie Wiosna's financial statement. The penny dropped, while I dropped everything to look into publicly available financials of the organisation for 2024.

The key findings are perplexing:
- In 2024 Stowarzyszenia Wiosna raised over PLN 31 million from private and corporate donators.
- Expenses for aid to those in need reached to more than PLN 4.5 million.
- As a non-profit organisation, it regularly produced operating profit of over PLN 6 million yearly and earned interest income of over PLN 1 million yearly from financial assets it held.
- At the end of 2024 the entity behind Szlachetna Paczka accumulated PLN 28 million in cash and bank deposits and PLN 6 million in corporate and government bonds. Financial assets increased by PLN 7 million vs. end of 2023.

Jaw drops open. Why has nobody made a mess about those numbers if the figures are within everyone's reach?

In early January 2026 I received an open invitation for an in-person meeting with Stowarzyszenia Wiosna's representatives in Warsaw, held yesterday. I signed up for it, wondering how much room for a genuine and open discussion would be given by the event's hosts.

It turned out the four-hour event was attended by mere 60 people and over most of its time we were split into five groups. The teamwork we had been meant to do was not fully done, as short discussion panels morphed into bitter experience sharing and I did not shun taking part in it. Stowarzyszenie Wiosna's employees listened carefully to all regrets spoken out during the sessions. Time will tell, if they take it to hearts. 

With respect to cash-richness of Stowarzyszenia Wiosna, I raised my reservations in person to one of executives after the event ended. We had a frank discussion, however I do not buy in the explanation that PLN 34 million is an atomic-case scenario reserve to carry on with the next edition if zero donations are made next year. Firstly because during 15 years of my hands-on experience in corporate finance I have never seen proceeds of any organisation going down by 100%, nor any entity bracing for such scenario. Secondly, because yearly running costs of Stowarzyszenie Wiosna are some PLN 10 million lower than its cash cushion, hence at least some room for depletion is given.

My mission is completed. I have accomplished more or less as much planned, i.e. spoke up, were audible, with little hope anything is going to change. Fighting itself ought to be a virtue even if you are fighting a losing battle. Sometimes you don't lay down your weapons just to assure yourself when you look in the mirror, you see a face of a man who acts righteously.

WOŚP

If I was to come up with the most renowned, but also the most controversial charity initiative in Poland, without hesitation I would point at Wielka Orkiestra Świątecznej Pomocy. Those who’d wish to translate its name into English could scratch their heads to figure out what Świąteczna stands for. The most common explanation is that it pertains to Christmas, as its first event was held in early January, shortly past the Christmas tide.

Beginnings of the initiative could be traced back to January 1993. Poland was in the state of flux past the downfall of communism. The nascent private sector was booming, but on the other hand several industries were on its knees. The public purse was not chock full of money, especially to fund growing needs of the health service, which has not moved ahead from the bygone era. From its beginnings, WOŚP was a fundraising, with proceeds aimed at purchasing medical equipment and donating them to public hospitals.

With time WOŚP collected more and more money, but also mobilised an army of enemies from the right wing of the political scene. Ample reasons could have been quoted, starting from outrage at Jerzy Owsiak, the initiative founder and leader, for espousing social views far from conservatism, through envy somebody recurringly mobilises an army of hearts, an achievement no one on the right side of the Polish political arena cannot boast of, to Mr Owsiak’s political involvement, unhidden since the very chap is hot-tempered.

Finances of WOŚP have been x-rayed by his enemies, claiming a far too small fraction of the money collected goes to purchases of medical equipment. I have analysed publicly available financial statements of the foundation and found no irregularities. Money raised from donators and bank account interest off it finance purchases of medical equipment (over a two-year observation period), while running costs of the foundation and its non-charity activities are covered by payments from sponsors and partners. Mr Owsiak and his life do live off running it, yet the founder’s salary is lower than mine, while his contribution to quality of life in Poland is a thousand times higher than mine, hence I see no point it in nitpicking.

If you compare annual proceeds from WOŚP to annual outlays on health service in Poland, you will find out WOŚP finances our health service for one day in a year. Two or three decades ago, deficiency of medial equipment was the major problem of the Polish healthcare system. Today, it is the shortage of doctors in combination with ageing society which brings the health service (not only in Poland) into imbalance. This problem is unlikely to be solved by any charity since it is a structural one, as supply of medical stuff is highly inelastic.

In 2026 WOŚP brings people together country-wide and has become an integral element of January (since 2021 the final day is on the last Sunday of January, being one of few Sundays in a year when shops are allowed to be open in Poland).

As in case of any charity, contributions to it ought to be voluntary. If you dislike it, for any reason, just do not donate. It is fine. But do not spread hatred. This year, as everyone noted, the range of loathing towards WOŚP in the public discourse was record-low. Maybe those not fond of the initiative have come to their senses and realised their outrage only boosts the funding for WOŚP.

With respect to me share in this magnificent pie, I can proudly boast of:
1) my home-made apple pie and cheesecake auctioned off for PLN 1,014
2) items I received as gifts as families under my care in Szlachetna Paczka in 2025 auctioned off in total for PLN 64,
3) I won auctions for:
- a handmade woollen cap and a scarf – bid of PLN 107,
- a voucher for bowling in Arena Ursynów – bid of PLN 160,
- a voucher for snooker in Arena Ursynów – bid of PLN 62,
4) besides I donated PLN 50 to a traditional can and PLN 30 to an online can.
The contribution above totals to PLN 1,487, which sets an ambitious target to be beaten in January 2027. Keep warm!

Buy cheap, buy twice

A long time ago I heard a woman who could be ranked among lower-middle class (in Poland there are no standards of social stratification, hence such assignment was purely judgemental) claiming she “could not afford to buy cheap stuff”. At that time I thought she was showing off she could afford some decent items to make up for her inability to buy more expensive durable goods, such as more comfortable dwelling. With hindsight, I recognise the wisdom in such attitude.

The musings should begin with a question whether there is a positive correlation between price and quality. I would argue it exists, yet not really strong. If you buy expensive items, you might be let down by their poor quality, yet if you buy cheap items, it is far more likely the cost of acquiring them reflects their shoddiness. There are bargains you might chase, but laws of economics remain unwavering – products or services of high quality might be attractively priced only for a short time, then the market will drift towards equilibrium.

With age (and rising earnings) I lean towards buying more expensive durable goods and my higher disposable income is not a core reason. I like using stuff for several years, I realise such consumer habits are good for the planet, I detest producing rubbish and I generally dislike shopping, so if I buy something that serves me for many years, it saves me hassle which replacing a defective or worn-out item involves. Besides, the comfort of using quality stuff is usually higher. Such approach requires a larger initial expenditure. As I point out, I pay more up-front, but over years I do not spend more money by replacing one shoddy item with another. Quite sadly, the initial outlay is the biggest barrier for the poorer who for financial reasons are stuck in a vicious circle of buying cheap stuff: furniture which fall apart after a few years, clothes which look like rags after a few washes, etc.

One would say it is contrary to manufacturers’ interest to put out durable objects, as capitalism is driven by ongoing, never-ending demand. Bosch brand, being a symbol of quality gives lie to this. My dishwasher has never let me down over 7 years. By dint of high quality, I have come by a driller, a universal brush, a wire detector and a washing machine, all manufactured by Bosch, which since decades has been a renowned producer of reliable and durable machinery. It earns on clients recurring to buy a different product, not to replace an item they bought a few years ago.

In purely economic terms, the strategy of buying expensive items does not always make sense, especially when quality does not go together with practical properties of an item or if you are going to use an item once in a blue moon. In the latter situation, sharing economy should be the answer, nevertheless despite some progress, Poland still lacks a well-organised platform for renting / borrowing stuff (such as tools used once a year or less often).

Forward-looking optimism?

Well, not actually. I'm moving ahead, as this is a part of my nature. I soldier on, against all odds and numerous headwinds I seem to be facing.

The world we are living in does not fill with hope. The biggest empire of the old world is ruled by a lunatic. His doubtful crackdown on lousy regimes does not fill one with compassion for dictators in Venezuela or Iran, but will bring little improvement for inhabitants of those countries. The orange bastard has still too much patience for the tsar. Despite allegedly good relationships with the tsar, the US ruler has not convinced him to agree on a ceasefire under conditions reflecting the pre-invasion order. The most dreadful is the vision of the orange dumbhead warranting to conquer Greenland, triggering an immediate NATO disintegration, a scenario desired most by Kremlin. Reassuringly, the system of checks and balances in the USA works well and hence the orange guy will be effectively held back.

Russia keeps bombarding Ukraine and the vision of peace is distant. I feel awfully sorry for the Ukrainian people (especially now, as they are coping with harsh frost below –20C), but on the other hand I realise while waging a war, Russia gets weaker, while a period of peace would let the tsar's country set itself up for a war against Western Europe.

In Poland I shun the online world, as my jaw drops open at the crass stupidity of those who bloat there the most. AI has made it even worse and the least clever part of society put credence in all deepfake content they come across. The two right-wing anti-EU parties have a total support of roughly 25% in the current polls, while the democratic coalition, standing for values of the civilised world, enjoys a total support above 40%. Not a bad outcome, given how it was envisaged to fall apart in the wake of the lost presidential election and in the world drifting right.

Family-wise, my parents are getting older, a phenomenon inevitable, expected and irreversible. Their health is around the average for their age, they still basically get on with daily life on their own, mostly thanks to my father's stamina (albeit his underlying diseases are a ticking bomb). Observing their mental aging gets me down most. They no longer have a can-do attitude and perceive matters which just have to be handled as problems. Watching them sliding slowly towards senility fills me with more pessimism than coming to terms with them being less physically fit and the realisation the moments they pass away are not in a distant future.

Work-wise, I think I'm getting ahead in the new role, but ask myself what it is for. If I don't raise a family and spending money does not give me particular joy, what is the point in earning more money? I will accumulate savings, hoping one day they will come in handy, but with little conviction there is a justification for chasing higher wages.

Health-wise I realise I have reached the age range when my conduct (nutrition, physical exercise, lifestyle, hours of doing sport per week) determines my health when I grow older. So far the spine is the only long-lasting predicament and I need to take preventive steps to keep it in reasonably condition, but I keep in mind what my orthopaedist once told me, namely it is not a questions whether my ailment recurs, but when and how badly it hits me.

My involvement in charity has worn me down. If downsides prevail over upsides, one needs to think over whether, regardless of benefits for the disadvantaged, such energy drain makes sense. As of now, I have not resolved whether to carry on with the Paczka next year, but with each next day I tilt towards giving up on it.

Relationship-wise, my attitude of being deprived of hope and belief that regardless of my efforts, mating attempts will get me nowhere, is disturbing. I may try to elaborate on this in some time, but my observations of single women in their 30s approach to romantic relationships can be summarised with one question reflecting their mindsets: “why do I need a man at all?” Full stop. Maybe with time and new chapter in online dating opened my I will change my mind. Whatever the fate brings, right-on is the approach to do my bit, as only interesting people are (sexually) attractive.

2026 will be a year of looking for a meaning in life. At some stage, humans choose among different ways of drowning out the feeling of emptiness. Until recently the most popular one was raising a family which consumed money and time, took away a lot of free time and set long-term milestones humans aimed at. With lifestyle shift in place, pursuit of hobbies, travelling, doing sports, indulging in pleasures and many other ways of increasing one’s dopamine levels have grown in popularity, but they still have a common denominator – they let forget about the overwhelming existential hollow.

Is my mindset depicted above as sign of relapsing depression? I hazard a guess it does not qualify as a mental disorder. It is a natural reaction to a chain of mostly bitter experiences which have come down on me in recent months. As an intelligent human being, I emotionally respond to them. My drive and self-esteem are in order and I retain the ability to cherish joyful moments, despite being overcome by long-term dejection. No need to take medications to get to grips with it. Time will either heal it or bring what I need to reconcile with I have no impact on.

Roll on spring! Warmth and longer days will do their bit in lifting me up.

Not a winter (wonderland) we have got used to

One of the goals of my annual winter timelines, written since 2010/11 season, is keeping track of day-to-day weather changes in one of two periods of a year most affected by climate changes. The sixteenth one is hence in the making. Winters generally tend to be warmer, wetter, with more rainfall and less snow. But as the atmosphere gets warmer, the risk of extreme events rises. As some regions of the world are facing unprecedented for this time of year heat (such is the case for most of the USA since around Christmas), others must counterbalance this with periods of abnormal cold.

Temperature-wise, we have been far from record-breaking chill. In the first days of January temperatures were close to long-term average for the period. Just recently it got markedly colder, yet even with temperature decreasing to –15.4C yesterday morning, Warszawa Okęcie weather station readouts have barely hits their 5-year lows (–20.6C was measured here on 18 January 2021) and are still well above twenty-first century records (–27.1C on 23 January 2006) or low officially reported in post-war period (–30.7C on 8 January 1987).

Snow-wise, after a series of snow-sparse winters, recent conditions are what we are no longer accustomed to. One must also say precipitation of 50 centimetres daily as reported in several places across northern Poland are not what we capable of combating. Such amounts of snowfalls have statistically been witnessed around twice in a century and were not, unlike some claim, typical several decades ago. In Warsaw snow cover got higher than 40 centimetres only three times after 1951:
- in 1970: between 22 February and 5 March (the 1969/70 winter was all-in-all the harshest in post-war history of Poland),
- in 1979: between 6 January and 8 January, between 18 January and 20 January, then between 30 January and 27 February,
- in 2010: between 13 February and 19 February.

This year, hitting such mark is not particularly likely. The snow fallen in late December and early January has already subsided, brining snow cover below 20 centimetres. The current forecasts suggest we may count on some snow top-up, but in a few days it will begin to melt. I keep fingers crossed for a thaw setting in.

I am not one of those fond of proper winter. I do not feel sorry for motorists (including myself, as roads are salted too well in comparison to slippery pavements), but this is a nuisance for people having to move about in general, pedestrians (who again, appear to be second-class citizens), all workers doing their jobs in the open air, elderly and disabled people often stuck at home due to the weather. I also feel sorry for those who cannot afford to heat their dwellings properly and to protect themselves from frostbites recourse to lousy incineration inputs. Many folks do so and you need no sensor to deteck awful air quality. On Friday I ran some 30 metres to catch a bus and I could feel the smell of hells knows what shit burnts in my lungs. Costs and inconvenience of harsh winter is hence borne by everyone, while few benefit or cherish it. On the other hand, harsh conditions shape tough people, so let’s cope with winter with fortitude!

Besides, once snow ceases to fall and sun brightens up short days, winter has its charm. Snaps dated 5 January 2026, from my first, post-flu short amble.

To the right, ul. Moczydłowska, serving mostly as a pedestrian precinct running towards Las Kabacki. Such standard of keeping non-major roads is absolutely sufficient. Other local roads kept in similar standard, with no salt in use.

The cabbage field between ul. Perkalowa and ul. Ziemska is a fascinating phenomenon. If sold for zillions, it could accommodate an estate of splendid terraced or semi-detached houses. But a local farmer prefers to grow vegetables here (note the spot is less than 15 minutes on foot from Metro Natolin).

The Kazurka hill was not chock full of children sliding down. Note benches and other objects downhill are covered with hay to prevent deadly incidents. I felt like scrambling up the hill, yet such effort could thwart my post-flu recovery.

The track running to Warsaw underground depot seems to have been out of use in early January, with snow trampled by walkers only. I still await the moment I catch a railcar on the infrequently used track.

The Oczko wodne Moczydełko pond has frozen over and is capped with snow. I would not hazard, however walking on it. Three days after the last thaw and with no double-digit frost since then, stepping on its icy surface seemed premature.

Out on another field, a man-made snowman, with eyes fallen off below nose. Plenty of other snow crafting works of art were erected in Ursynów during early days of the month, yet I felt still too weak to venture for a longer walk. Hope I catch up soon.

Down with flu

As a teenager and then as an adult I used to fall ill very seldom. Since joining the current employer, I took a sick leave once, in September 2024, owing to serious problems with spine, but all sparse infections I have had were mild enough to work from home. Even my COVID-19, contracted stupidly on a housewarming party, was a mild, though uncanny cold with no complications thereafter.

If the are familiar with previous post, you are most likely aware the fourth quarter of 2025 was a kind of tiresome for me. From the 20 December each night I slept between 8 and 10 hours, vs. long-term optimum of 7 hours sufficient for my body to regenerate. It was desperately calling for rest and regeneration and I did not resist it. But long-term fatigue might have played havoc with my immune system as well.

I a rush of the last quarter of 2025 I have not taken a vaccination against flu, a mistake I am not going to repeat, especially since medical plan paid by my employer offers large supply of doses available at any centre, at any time slot. But for several years, despite being exposed to people infected with flu, I would never come down with it. I had such vaccine once, in 2022.

On 22 December my father went to the hospital in Piaseczno to pick up his medical examination results. He claimed he had waited 15 minutes or so in a corridor full of coughing people. Most likely the story began there. My father was the first to be laid down to bed, complaining about fever, shivers and other symptoms on a Christmas day. He has come out of it relatively quickly, most likely with high body temperature he has combatted the illness fast, but remains weak until now.

My mother felt off-colour on 26 December. On that day it occurred to me except for buying medicines for parents, I should drop in on my dwelling to pick up infection combo tests. I tested my father and the indication was clear – influenza A. My mother got knocked down by the illness. On 27 December I ordered her a telemedicine appointment and she got prescribed anti-flu pills. I drove to town in the evening to get the prescribed medicines despite not feeling particularly well.

On 28 December I returned home, pottered about and thought I would get off it lightly. No such luck. Next two days I felt unwell, yet not tragically, but worked from bed.

On 30 December the fever rose, I would not sleep the whole night, so in the morning I caught a slot with a doctor, my parents’ GP. Thus on New Year’s Eve I fell officially into nationwide statistics of flu infections and got my set of pills. The GP said it would go away within 2 or 3 days, a vivid overpromise (back then and with hindsight). The last day of December was also the worst day, with all bones and joints aching, a headache, cough and runny nose, this all accompanied by fever of roughly +37.5C.

This must have been a turning point, since on 1 January I did not feel that awful, yet tremendously frail. I recalled stories from the worst 2020/21 COVID winter of people getting so tired with a walk to the toilet and back that they had to sleep it off for 12 hours. My state was nowhere as bad, but far worse than any other infection I have had at least in a decade.

On Friday and yesterday I was slowly pulling through. Most symptoms, including fever, are gone, yet I still feel terribly weak. Most likely I will be on the mend for a fortnight, before I am back in top form.

Take care of yourselves!

2025 in a nutshell

Having indulged in some well-deserved laziness (with some indispensable breaks for physical exercise), I see no reason in being particularly creative and will rather look back at the passing year, which I believe was rather tough for me.

The first days were marked by the relationship break-up coming into effect. A year past that decision I am strongly convinced it has been the best I could do and despite not being lucky to get involved in a new, reasonable relationship, averting a lifelong misery and living a bit of lonely, yet not lonesome life has been a preferable option.

Dating-wise, I have been confronted with a phenomenon which has been widely described, i.e. women in their 30s considering being a relationship as an option to be chosen only if its benefits outweigh the expense of giving up on their independence. Threshold for mating has been raised tremendously high, with my odds of raising a family drastically(?) decreasing.

Health-wise, my recovery has been sustainable, with some natural minor ups and downs. I do take care of my spine, have a catalogue of dos and don’ts with long sitting being the activity more detrimental than carrying heavy loads. I badly fear the relapse of health crisis involving an awful pain and being bedridden, as I was in September 2024, so each time I feel a pain similar to the one 16 months ago, everything recedes into the background and I focus on exercising several times a day.

2025 was not abundant in travels, for several reasons. I have not flown a plane since October 2023. I have only ventured for nearly a week into Polish mountains and then for a weekend. I miss journeys a bit, as exploring new places and being away from home cleanses mind perfectly. But on the other hand, travelling has become a religion or one of several ways of filling existential void.

Work-wise, after 15 years in banking I have suffered a burnout (it seems I did not bother to commit it to the blog), but despite this, or in attempt to break away from this, I have been promoted. Currently I am finding my way around new duties, however still trying to keep my head above water, rather than comfortably floating on the surface. Hope things shape up over the next months, however my faith will likely be put to the test by the oncoming ownership change (my employer bound to change hands in January).

Politics-wise, in the run-up to the presidential election, I was zealously following the current affairs, hoping for the best, realising the worst was more probable than the polls suggested. My worries have materialised. Although I seemed to have been prepared for Mr Nawrocki’s victory, I needed to get over it. Since then I have been somewhat withdrawn from politics, focusing on other areas of life.

Charity-wise, my sixth stint in Szlachetna Paczka might have been the last one. I have not taken this decision, but give myself half a year to mull over it. If I give up on being a volunteer, I will be confronted with reinventing myself in the last quarter of the year. I will need to focus more on myself and searching for a meaning in life, even if the reality puts paid to my plans and hopes.

In recent days when my mind was slightly turned off, I repeatedly recalled the morning of 7 November 2025 when I got paralysed. There was a moment I feared it could be my last moments alive. I had a lust of for life, but it was more about a survival instinct than realising there were things I would not do if I passed away then. I thought about be parents’ grief, my friends, unfinished things at work and at Szlachetna Paczka. Several weeks after that I realise I need to reach out for more joy in life and take care of myself. And I wish the same to you.

Szlachetna Paczka 2025 before the dust has settled

To be precise, it has not fully settled. One of families under my care stills awaits a sofa bed (delivery delayed), another one I have looked after waits for bedside lamps and a chair assembly which I will do myself. Four families' donators have buggered up and we (volunteers from Ursynów area) will need to fix up money from an "emergency fund" to meet their needs. Yesterday I belatedly purchased and delivered a shower booth for a family I picked up as a donator on 8 December. Well, the Yuletide celebration has not yet commenced.

My sixth edition is the first one when I am not in a relationship. The other person close to me used to be a counterbalance and kept by involvement at bay. This year I had decided to dedicate more energy to Szlachetna Paczka and now feel drained of it, yet not on account if my relationship status, but due to organisational errors made all along.

The recruitment process has been screwed up. Far too many people on managerial positions and as rank-and-file volunteers should have never found themselves in their roles. The absence of black lists (of people with negative feedback from previous editions) has definitely contributed to this.

In the very area of Ursynów we onboarded 64 families to receive aid (vs. previous record of 54) and had around 35 volunteers (10 more than in previous years on average). Quantity of staff has not translated into quality. Although we have had some outstanding newcomers, the number of insufficiently involved (or disappearing along the way) volunteers was appallingly high. Needless to say duties they had undertaken had to be taken over.

In the run-up to the final weekend there has been a massive problem of families not picked by any donators. Volumes could be spoken of reasons why it happened like this, but since there is no proof any of my theories is right, I will keep them for myself. In social media the most common notion was putting it down to some families' sky-high needs, which even if justified, are hard to be fulfilled by ordinary people (may a costly leaking roof repair serve as an example).

No reliable statistics will show how many Paczkas (neither "box" nor "parcel" renders well what a Paczka in Szlachetna context is) have eventually been prepared by the volunteers and their companions. In Ursynów area 4 out of 64 families have been picked by us. Additional time and money spent on saving families from being left out in the cold are the biggest cost hidden in joyful celebration of the recent edition.

I would hazard a guess Szlachetna Paczka is one of the most demanding forms of volunteering which can be taken up in Poland. It is not just about coping with horrific stories of o people's penury, but also about time dedicated to do it properly and having to arrange a lot on one's, frequently making extensive use of one's multiple resources.

I believe past this edition Szlachetna Paczka's relationship with donators and volunteers will be under strain and lots of effort will have to be put to rebuild them.

Will Stowarzyszenie Wiosna face criticism it ought receive? Each year it seems those in charge of the initiative are learning from mistakes made in a previous years. But once a new edition kicks off for good, it turns out history repeats itself, but the price paid by the most responsible volunteers goes up.