Malady as an experience

As I continue to slowly recover, the time is now to dissect what I have been going through as an experience. Although I had to deal with health problems of my parents and grandparents closely, an onlooker's perspective is not comparable to becoming "temporarily disabled", as there was a short moment (only a few hours) when my mobility was more reduced than of a person on a wheelchair.

I strive not to take things for granted. Whenever I (used to) sit behind the wheel I realise I run a risk of being a victim of a traffic accident. I could imagine being immobilised as a result of an accident or a sudden event, but being bed-ridden by a slowly progressing illness was well-beyond my imagination. Lesson learnt - do not take anything for granted.

A malady shrinks your universe. Cycling around Czech Republic in August, canoeing in July, foray to the seaside in June, hiking in May, weekend in Kraków in April. All out of reach even today. At the worst moment a walk to the toilet was a journey of my life. On Thursday I endured relatively well a trip to Wola to a doctor which was quite something.

Being partly immobilised also means reliance on other people even in the basic activities such as dressing up. With hindsight I was lucky to be able to use a toilet or to take a shower on my own, however managing that myself was tiresome as hell.

Switching from the state of being fit and healthy towards an ailment which at its nadir involved intensity of pain which did not allow me to move without screaming out loud was an experience on the verge of being beyond my comprehension.

Coping with pain was another tough lesson. Lying and not straining the spine is indispensable in process of alleviating the inflammation. But for various reasons you cannot lie down 100% of the time, as it would do more harm than good. But if you move, you need to do it carefully, as one reckless move can leave you still in an awkward position, while your neighbours would be wondering why the damn you are screaming a blue murder.

Being sick teaches also patience. In the past, as an adult, I had never been sick for more than a few days. This time, after being a week spent mostly in bed, I realised getting back to normalcy would be a matter of weeks and an upside scenario is that this lousy episode ends by late October. Trying to accelerate the recovery could mean taking several steps back on that path so slowly does it.

Suffering reminds how little sometimes it takes to bring out happiness. I cherished the moment I could walk around the house on my own, the first night when pain's waning intensity let me sleep full seven hours, the first half-a-mile walk. I still somewhat envy people who can ride a bike, run or just sit for more than half an hour, but I believe in a few weeks I will rejoin them.

When confronted with the malady, worries of a healthy man's ordinary life recede into the background. What still mattered was money, as in my situation I could not count on a national health service, while high-class services do cost a lot of money. Money does not bring happiness, but certainly helps.

The last observation is that karma returns. In the last years I did my best to help people in need. I have done it disinterestedly, yet frankly speaking it has paid back.

Once you have reached the end of this post, I call you on feeling gratitude for what you have. The formative experience I have been going through is what I would not wish on anybody.

Slowly on the mend

In the last days eyes in Poland were on the south-western part of the country plagued by the largest flood since 2010. Although major cities escaped getting under water, mostly thanks to a big detention basin Racibórz Dolny, completed in 2020, several small towns have been completely destroyed, especially when dams or embankments could not resist masses of bursting water.

My natural reaction in response to such disaster would be to get involved personally in some aid raising schemes. Sadly, my health prevented me from that. This time I had to take care of myself to be able to help others in the future and confined to donating money to foundations and organisations which will make good use of it. In such critical situations Poles tend to display short-lasting, yet intense commitment to help those in need, yet restoring the damaged areas will last months.

Back to my backyard – the progress of my recovery is slow, but visible. On Monday I returned to working from bed or standing next to a chest of drawers. Workload turned out to be burdensome, however I could no longer stand lying in bed and reading. Getting back to professional life at least gave me some flavour of the days when things were normal.

On Thursday I drove (the very driving was ok, but getting out of the car after sitting 25 minutes was a nightmare) to a renowned doctor specialising in the lumbar spine. Last weekend I did a three-hour search online to pick five best orthopaedists in the region and my girlfriend ranked them. The doctor, Mr Kamil Koszela (I wholeheartedly recommend in case you have a similar ailments, which I definitely not wish on you) turned out to fully deserve all accolades. Knowledgeable, friendly, helpful and honest – he started the least invasive therapy by injected collagen into tissues around aching joints. Being pricked with a thin needle in such sensitive places does not belong to pleasant experiences, but it seems to have helped a bit. Next sets of injections due on 26 September and on 3 October, with three sessions being a bare minimum, but the therapy might be extended up to 6 sets.

According to the doctor, pulling through will presumably last until the second half of October, therefore I patiently wait. I know I need to give my spine much rest, so only lying and walking are in order. On Friday we took a two-kilometre walk, yesterday I also strolled in the sunshine for 40 minutes or so. Such jaunts are optimum to keep the body in some motion, ye avoiding excessive strain.

After I recover I will need to take preventive steps to minimise the risk of such immobility bringing me down in the future. Besides, I still do not know what I will be proscribed to do and not to do in my daily life and in terms of doing sports recreationally. This uncertainty does not add comfort, but I remain upbeat when it comes to my life returning to normalcy.

Lying in bed, rather than on my way to LA

Last week I promised not to post for a month, as today I was supposed to be on my way to the USA West Coast. Health-related circumstances have coerced me to defer those plans. The problems with lumbar spine are not a novelty to me, yet for several months I could forgot about them altogether. I looked after it, had a lot of recreational exercise outdoors, took physiotherapy classes in winter. If the spine was under a strain of a carrying heavy stuff or assembling pieces of furniture, I did it all wisely and did not feel any discomfort.

Maybe I took it for granted that the spine would pay me back with a painless service. After those carefree months I simply shrugged off the first incidences of pain, hoping they would go as quickly as they came. There was a day in late August when it ached intensely, yet then it eased off.

The week starting on 2 September 2024 was dramatic at work. I sat for much longer than 8 hours, stressed-out and most of the time in a bizarre position, to keep the back of my thigh away from a chair, after my skin had been literally sliced by a thin and sharp leash kept by a thoughtless dog owner. Day by day the pain was getting worse, but I carried on ignoring it, until Friday, 6 September, when it became unbearable.

On 7 September I went to a GP. She prescribed me some painkillers and ordered to lie down in a “chair” position. I followed her recommendations for two days, yet without any signs of being on the mend. Conversely, the pain was only more acute.

On Monday, 9 September, I went (by underground, since getting into any passenger car was out of reach) to a neurologist and had an X-ray examination done. He prescribed me another set of painkillers, since the core medicine from the previous set could cause an adverse reaction with antidepressants I take. By the evening, things were getting only worse. After sunset I could move my arms, legs and head. Except for this, I was actually bed-ridden – getting out of bed would have involved too much pain. The memory of being walked by my girlfriend to the toilet and holding on to walls and doors will not be erased for a long time.

On Tuesday, 10 September, my father drove me to a physiotherapist for a manual therapy session. Actually the benefit of the very massage (as delicate as it could have been) was quite possibly thwarted by the journey by car (getting out of took me a minute each time).

On Wednesday, 11 September I snapped a last minute appointment to an orthopaedist. The only benefit of it was an emergency referral for an MRI.

The next two days I strived to avoid any strain, though on Friday I went for a 30-minute walk, since staying in bed most of the time had gotten wearisome. I was fit enough to walk for a while without a major ache, yet sitting was still out of reach. Actually I could spend my time lying or walking, as even standing involved a discomfort.

Yesterday I had my MRI done, I wait to be it described and keep looking out for a superb doctor, who would tell me what the dos and don’ts for the coming weeks are and who will oversee my path to recovery.

Lesson learnt from this incidence hitting just ahead of grand holidays – buy insurance and always mark if you have an underlying illness. I had not done it, but luckily managed to cut financial losses. All accommodations and car rental reservation could be cancelled free of charge, while the flights with PLL LOT, despite being in the lowest tariff, could be rescheduled for mere EUR 120. The trip is now scheduled to commence on 24 April 2025 which gives me plenty of time to recover, which is a matter of weeks rather than days.

A progress report to be published in a week.

Endless summer

September has come up, scent of autumn is in the air, yet summer-like temperatures have not eased off.

Meteorogical summer of 2024 (i.e. June, July and August) in Poland definitely has been one of the warmest, but since extensive weather records disappered from Meteomodel page, my ability to put current readouts into historical context has waned.

Another measure of heat intensity is the number of days when temperature exceeded +30C (day-time high). So far in 2024 there have been 24 such days in Warsaw, compared to record-setting 24 days in 2015 and 22 days in 2006.

In the coming days the likelihood of temperatures exceeding +30C in the capital of Poland is extremely low. Historically the latest such incidence was on 14 September 1951 (second-latest on 13 September 2023). The September heat record of +34.5C, set on 1 September 2015 is unthreatened. It is far too early to judge, whether the entire September will be the warmest since records began, but last year's record of +18.5C will be difficult to beat.

In Poland's climate positive temperature deviations from long mean might cheer up in non-summer months only, but their frequency is worrisome. We had the second-warmest July in 2024, March temperature records beaten in late March 2024, February 2024 was the warmest since records began. In 2023 records were broken or nearly missed in January, September in October. The most recent month with mean temperature below long-term average was April 2023 and it was one of very few such months over recent years.

On one hand I would cherish clement weather and autumnal warmth (in contrast to summer heat) for possibly long, on the other I realise it is yet another signal of accelerating climate changes.

Next post in mid-October, after what is supposed to be the holidays of my lifetime (and involve substantial CO2 emissions, so maybe nothing to brag about).

Warfare musings

Forecasts of the Ukraine war development for the summer months were bleak. The Ukrainian defence was foreseen to break down, the invaders, apart from trespassing into the Ukrainian territory, were supposed to provocatively, yet tentatively attempt to disturb peace in the Baltic countries. Fortunately, only a minor part of those predictions proved right.

And then all of the sudden, on 6 August 2024, the Ukrainian army successfully moved the warfare into the territory of the enemy, launching the first incidence of was in the territory of russia or its soviet predecessor since WW2. The counter-attack carries on, with the invaders still shocked their own land has become a battleground.

The intrusion into a poorly-defended Kursk region were meant to prompt the invaders to shift some regiments from Donbas region, where things are not going well and the frontline is slowly progressing west. In simple words, in regions occupied since 2014, Ukraine is being defeated.

If the warfare carries on, 19 November 2024 will be the 1,000th day since its onset. The plan of the dictator was to take over Kyiv within a few days and install a mock-up government out there. Despite running rings around the capital of Ukraine, wreaking destruction and committing genocide, it has not worked out. Ukraine keeps holding strong and the war is far from settlement.

With the imminent attrition of both sides, 3 scenarios can be considered.
The first one - Ukraine wins. Despite ongoing supplies of arms from the West (leave out now who takes over as a president of the United States soon), Ukraine lacks resources to do so.
The second one - Russia wins - unlikely in short-term perspective, sadly conceivable in 2 or 3 years. It would pave the way for their next conquers, also to combat NATO countries.
The third one - both parties are fed up with the warfare and decide to sign a peace treaty. Ukraine loses part of its territory, the invaders ease up for a while. After a while the dictator rebuilds its potential and strikes again.

The old saying if you want peace brace yourself for a war has not gone outdated. With Russia ruled and weapon-equipped as it is now, we will not feel safe for many years. A full-scale invasion into CEE seems unimaginable, but a full-blown warfare is not essential to wreak havoc in the region. Deterrents must be in place, to discourage the dictator from a confrontation with NATO. Besides, unity of allies has to be manifested. For such reason I keep fingers crossed for the victory of Kamala Harris in November.