Love-life-wise catch-up

I think I last wrote a post dealing with my relationship only in January 2021, after my ex-girlfriend and I broke up for the first time, but not for good. Since then we had our ups and downs, with next “reversed” break-ups in June and August. We endured better and worse days, but it all was going downhill since that time. Eventually, in mid-December we consensually resolved to give it a rest. Prospects were anything, but bright, the burden to carry on our backs was too heavy for both of us.

I did not feel the need to mention it on the blog at that time. The end of the relationship was not a shock, but was a bit of relief. The year-end period at work was busy, Szlachetna Paczka final weekend was just past; I needed to cool down. I knew the break-up was a matter of time and began getting over it well ahead of the actual goodbye. Thus the transition into being a “single” was astonishingly smooth.

More than three months have passed since that moment and believe I can examine the reasons why the relationship had fallen apart. We both talked about it and even agreed it was just meant to fall apart.

My ex-girlfriend for many months before the break-up lacked the feeling of certainty. It held her back from making a step forward, i.e. agreeing to live with me under one roof. When in October I asked her how she would react if I popped a question, she said she would turn it down.

Her lack of conviction towards the relationship with me manifested itself in moodiness, emotional instability and treating me on a verge of emotional violence, something I confess to have put up with for too long.

Before she starts over something new with someone else, she will need to learn that a compromise is essential in a relationship. Sadly, she did not accept me entirely the way I was, but tried to model me on her image of an ideal man.

Given such bitter circumstances, no wonder I got over it reasonably quickly. As we were breaking up, we agreed we would remain friends. Since none of us hurt badly nor harmed the other one, this seemed reasonable, yet I was doing it against myself, as I do not believe in life after love. Time has partly proven me right. A month ago during a casual conversation all of a sudden we both began to dig up the dirt from the past and ended up exchanging grudges against each other.

More than two weeks ago, while volunteering to aid Ukrainians I accidentally met a girl (a fellow volunteer). I thought for a while I would stay emotionally hollow. It has not worked out and I was rejected in a nasty way, but merely finding out there are such righteous, sensitive and kind-hearted people is spirit-lifting.  Hadn't I tried, I would have attained nothing, but with the outcome at least I will not wonder would would have been if...

The moment I met her coincided with a return to Tinder, which is a more shitty area than it was two years ago. More on this in some time. So far no points scored in the application.