A short story about the price of trust

Till some time ago I thought the price of mistrust was much higher, but the moment I had to pay the price of trust I changed my mind.

Karol (name deliberately changed) joined my class almost exactly ten years ago, when we were beginning our first year at middle school (gimnazjum). I don’t even remember if he sat behind the same desk I sat, or was it me who joined him in. As a rather sociable person he quite easily found his way around us (we’d been together as a class for six years on then), though I can’t say he would get along with everyone for the next three years of middle school. Soon by dint of sitting next to each other we became good mates, though I could never say we had ever been friends. We were just good classmates, spent some time after school together, but surely weren’t friends for good and bad times.

Karol soon became the best student in our class and later even in the whole school. Teachers deemed him to be impeccably well-mannered and he soon also became an exemplary pupil. In fact as we all knew he was not just extraordinarily clever. He was a typical “smarty pants” – no one else would get away with getting a bad grade when being unprepared for a lesson, no one else would wriggle out of being punished for cheating during a class test. For some reason he had a charm which worked on all teachers, but my classmates and I weren’t impressed with his continuous wheeling and dealing.

Karol somehow also had an inclination for trying to outfox everyone around, but not everyone could discern it. Many people, including my parents warned me against him, I treated those advice seriously, but they didn’t dissuade me from helping him putting into practice some of his stillborn ideas. Fortunately, it never ended up badly for me, so actually I could have gone unharmed out of this friendship… Within those three years there were many conflicts within our class, but even despite falling in love with the same girl (who eventually chose him) somehow we didn’t fall out, all tribulations didn’t tear us apart.

As I dropped in on his house quite often, I met his parents and older brother, Adam (name also changed), who incidentally attended the same high school as I did, so we had an opportunity to get to know each other better. Although born to the same parents they were totally different – Adam was a paragon of virtues, Karol kept trying to outwit the whole world around.

With time we my friends from middle school fell in with new companies from high schools, old friendships began to break off. Karol and I met usually met in a bus, since we both commuted to high schools to Warsaw. From time to time we called each other, sent text messages, wished happy birthday or merry Christmas. We hadn’t been keeping in with each other since the beginning of our studies in 2006. Occasionally I met his brother in a bus and when I asked him about Karol, I’d usually hear his inclination for wheeling and dealing had only intensified (to Adam’s discontent).

Karol turned to me a few times in 2008 and 2009. Every time he had a great deal to strike but he was hard up for cash and asked me to lend him some few hundred and later even few thousand zlotys. Every time he claimed he had an opportunity to earn thirty to fifty per cent or so and promised to share profits with me, but never revealed what the gooses that laid golden eggs were. As an economist I know such opportunities generally don’t happen in the real world and each time his loan requests were rejected by me.

On 31 May 2010 a text message from him hit me out of the blue. That time he didn’t write about any profitable (read: shady) business to be done, he said we was in an urgent need of money (2,500 PLN) because he had to pay a bill (lie( of a student organisation he was in charge of (lie). The organisation was about to have its expenses reimbursed within a week plus he was about to get his salary within a few days as well. What he described were just some liquidity problems he temporarily had. He managed to earn my trust by offering to meet quickly and sign a loan agreement that would secure the repayment. On that day I was in the middle of exam period and didn’t wish to bother to meet him to sign a stupid piece of paper.

At the beginning I lied to him I had all my money in stocks and investment funds and it would take me three days to turn the assets to cash, but later on I gave in. I transferred to him 1,000 PLN since I realised this was a quite risky move and of course we didn’t meet up to put any signatures. I know very well why I did it, actually despite myself. Just before it all happened I had painfully experienced a blatant example of mistrust and I told myself the relationships between people could not be founded on mistrust, hence my half-baked decision.

Karol offered to return all money four days later in cash. He offered to come to my house, but as it was the day after Corpus Christi downpour I was busy tidying up my garden I asked him to transfer the money to me next Monday. The other reason was that my parents still don’t know about the sunk money – I somehow don’t fancy hearing the “Haven’t I told you” phrase…

On Sunday he asked me to lend him another 500 PLN, I refused. The money I had lent him didn’t appear next Monday, moreover, Karol stopped answering his phone and writing back to my text messages. Soon his voice mailbox got jammed and I realised things must have gone pretty nasty. I got in touch with his brother who promised to tell him to call me, his mother couldn’t tell me where I could find him. Karol’s behaviour became more and more mysterious.

I had a few phone calls with Adam in June, which consisted in reading between the lines. In early July we finally talked openly. Adam politely asked if I had given his brother any money and if Karol hadn’t given it back to me, I politely confirmed to find out I was a bit out of luck. Karol would behave strangely for the last four years, he moved out from home in 2009. For the last two years his family had been paying his debts until they ran out of cash. They decided not to run up their own debts to repay Karol’s obligations, so all debtors who turned to them were simply rebuffed. Karol managed to ruin financially his quite well-off family. From what I could infer from what Adam had told me, I estimate his all debts could total to around 100,000 PLN. Staggering? During the open conversation in early July Adam told me Karol had assured them he had found a job and promised to give his family a half of his salary. Till now (I called Adam yesterday) they haven’t received a single zloty from Karol. He tritely explained it away by telling his employer hadn’t paid him yet. Adam and his parents still remember about my ten stoovers and still openly declare they will transfer it back to me as soon as Karol gives them the money. I don’t hold out much hopes for getting the money back, but given the very good stance of Karol’s family, there’s still a glimmer of hope. I’ll treat this thousand as a windfall if it ever comes back to me.

Never mind the money now. One thousand more won’t make me much happier, one thousand less won’t make me much sadder (but wiser?).

How come? He used to be the best student in the whole school, everyone spoke highly about him, he was held in high esteem by everyone. Everyone said he would be really successful in the future. My teachers from middle school would never believe in the story above.

And the roles reversed. Seven years ago his family was much better-off than mine. Karol had brand-name clothes and footwear, would go on holiday abroad two years in a year, had all electronic gadgets. At the same time I had clothes from normal shops or from a supermarket, I within those three years I was abroad once for a week and spent two third of my holidays at home and didn’t have all newest consumer electronics devices – my parents were scrimping and saving to buy their dreamt-up house. Today my family’s and mine financial standing is satisfying, his family is flat broke and he ended up as a downright cheater.

I wonder what Karol feels now. I’d be surely conscience-stricken having done something so awful. I wonder how it feels to borrow money with an intention not to give it back. When I talked about it with Scatts two months ago he said in the UK he would never make a down payment for a house without securing it properly, which is normal in Poland. In the UK, in turn, he would lend someone a few hundred pound right away, in Poland he wouldn’t hope to get the money back. Cross-cultural differences?

And how did Karol manage to get into such debts? Stock market? Not that easy. Gambling? Possible. Leveraged risky deals is for me the most probable explanation. If you borrow a lot to increase your profits and it doesn’t work out you’re left with huge debts. That probably dragged Karol (and his family I feel sorry for) down.

Some tie the knot, others clam up.

Yesterday I attended one of best friend’s wedding ceremony. Michał turned out to be the first of my close friends to decide to get married so early. I don’t know what prompted their decision, I didn’t dare to ask openly, but to dispel your suppositions I can tell his new wife isn’t up the stump spout; nor even they plan to have children within next five years. But for some reason they surely wanted to have their relationship formalised. Meanwhile I couldn’t attend another wedding which was held in Tomaszów Mazowiecki (ca. 150 kilometres south-west of Warsaw) just an hour later. Another friend and her boyfriend also tied the knot.

The wedding was kind of sad – number of people in a church (Bazylika Archikatedralna im. Św. Jana Chrzciciela in Warsaw Old Town) reached around 60, including around 20 of my age. I didn’t meet any acquaintance from school. I feel sorry for the newlyweds – as far as I’m concerned they had invited much more people and most of them didn’t bother to show up. How come? Will it happen to me one day? Will my friends cut me dead? Will they choose to lie on a beach, go for a weekend or stay at home and stare at the box instead of keeping me company on one of most important days of my life?

I handed them a gift, wished all the best in the new leaf they were turning over and headed back home. Michał and his new wife settled on not throwing a wedding reception and money not lashed out for one-night extravaganza they spent on refurbishing a flat Michał’s wife inherited after her late grandparents. Not luxurious and located on Bródno, but their own, they don’t have to take out a mortgage, which is a really great advantage. Here I go along with their decision, but many guests could have thought there was no point in going to the church if the newlyweds didn’t provide any blow-out and disco.

For the second consecutive day I passed by the cross outside presidential palace. Still thousands of tourists from Poland and abroad hang around there and a few grannies still pray to the cross and involuntarily are photographed by the tourists.

As the title goes some of my peers quite traditionally set up families, but most of us have other priorities in life. We cherish independence, carefree life, career, money, living it up, flexibility, self-development, etc. But isn’t it all about taking a path of least resistance? Isn’t it easier to live on one’s own? You don’t have to mind your second half’s feelings? But is it happier? I know some people are destined to be lonesome and feel best when no one’s around, company of other people winds them up and simply can’t get along with anyone in a relationship, but is it normal? Human being is a social creature, hence I suppose it naturally needs to socialise with fellow social creatures.

I recently had a great opportunity to observe how the pick of my generation behave. I have no idea how discernible my eye that time was, but I strongly and sadly feel we seem to a broken generation. We have no problems making friends, co-operating and communicating with one another, we can absolutely normally have fun. When necessary we are professional and career-minded, when not we have other priorities, but there’s one disturbing trait we have in common. We are all hidden in our own shells. Always smile on the face, always the awe-inspiring look that exudes self-confidence and courage. People who meet us are always amazed at how well we know what we want from life, how clear our visions our are, how eager to move ahead we are.

But who knows about our problems? Who knows when something’s eating us? Who knows when we feel helpless, disillusioned? Who knows when we’re keeping a bold face (cause that’s what we’ve been taught) while deep inside we’re falling apart? For sure at least ninety per cent of us are not callous robots but ordinary humans who hold back their feelings and carry on, even if each and every cell and tissue deep in our chests is aching. Why? Is it a matter of the new culture I wrote about a week ago?

I have one close friend whom I can tell everything and who can confide in me and reckon for understanding and honesty. I have a few close friends with whom I can talk about some personal issues, but not very intimate, those are people I can rely on in slightly difficult situations, but if push came to a shove I’d be wary of turning to them for help. I have many friends with whom I talk about what are not problems – the fact I bought some stocks and their price dropped is not a problem (unless I invested all my savings in one security and the price really tumbled). And I meet tens of people with whom I just have small talks and do businesses. Our co-operation is based on mutual indifference – meeting up and going separate ways. I don’t think it’s bad, if we wanted to take care of everyone’s quandaries we’d soon go crazy, but… have you ever thought about it in such a way?

I heard several times opinions modern, young career-focused single women are unapproachable and I can’t find any argument to give lie to that (widespread?) opinion. What do we think we stand for by doing so? Have some of us built a glass wall aroudn them? Are we proving our toughness or are we desperately trying to conceal our fragility? What is it going to lead my generation up to? Are we a broken generation? Who the hell can break through the shell?

Strange are these days for me. I’m not down in the dumps but I feel a kind of anxiety, for many months or even years I haven’t felt that insecure. Plus for four days in a row I drank. On Wednesday and Friday socially, on Thursday and yesterday without any company, just to bring the “proper” frame of mind. From today on I’m going to give it up as this certainly shouldn’t become a habit. Does something need to be rearranged? Am I at a crossroads? No matter what happens I’ll be carrying on, as I’ve been doing for years. But when will I run out of strength?

Entrapped by the freedom

This is one of few postings that really fits the title of the blog. Prompted by Adthelad I finally found three hours to watch “The Trap” – a documentary by Adam Curtis, broadcast by BBC in March 2007. Instead of reviewing the film, I’ll have a try on commenting on most of the concepts outlined in it. Sorry for a bit chaotic post, high temperature combined with high air humidity is not conducive to writing, believe me…

1. Is the freedom we experience true or is it just an illusion?

2. Human nature – the authors of the documentary quote many theories, according to which humans are self-serving, dishonest, pursue their own advantages at the expense of others. It seems that a goal of an average man is to outwit his fellow man. No matter how true that notion is, the question which is still hard to answer is whether those bad traits are inborn or are they shaped over the course of upbringing? Some research carried out both in developed societies and in pristine communes prove the heart of human selfishness and cruelty lies in our genes. If those behavioural patterns are instinctive and all attempts to root them out are doomed to fail, the rational conclusion is to learn to get on with them and to harness them to make our lives easier. The answer according to some thinkers is to design a society based on natural leanings – if humans pursue their own interests, the most efficient system is such giving room for unleashing our obscure instincts and behaving rationally, on the basis of cool calculations. In such an environment, clever creatures surely are aware that their fellow men will try to outwit them, what results in social interaction based on mistrust and suspicions. Other people are your rivals, life becomes a race, the goal is to hit your enemy before he hits you…

3. Game theory – maybe this concept does not answer one of basic questions – whether people are good or bad by nature, but rather puts emphasis on readiness to cooperate. As some scientists point out, all our moves have to be in line with strategising – anticipating what other people will do or think. Game theory was put into practice on a large scale during the cold war and actually it founded the moves of both enemies on fear – but is fear bad? In finance – yes, in life – just take a look… Social and legal sanctions prevent us from committing crimes, not our conscience – the authors argue. So is it true that we don’t kill one another, don’t steal goods from one another mostly because punishments hold us back from doing it?

4. Politics – post-WW2 notions of the state stressed the importance of strong administration which would protect people from blows dealt by the invisible hand of free market (which, as said in the third episode of the film, doesn’t exist). A lean state can’t cope with all problems and control everything so an overgrown bureaucratic apparatus has to be created. With time, bureaucracy becomes an independent structure which pursues its own advantages and no longer focuses on helping people. Instead, a maze of procedures, regulations, laws, documents begins to hinder actions taken by the humans. In economics, some individuals get discouraged and have no more patience for striving for anything, what translates into lower economic growth rates. The way to overcome that tendency was introducing mechanisms which would make use of the dark side of human nature – so if state officials are indeed self-serving, their stance ought to pay off!

5. Performance targets – was a crucial tool harnessed to achieve the goal described above. Unfortunately, the creators of that solution probably failed to predict wicked humans would always find was to circumvent the rules of the system. Bank salespeople were walking around cemeteries and taking down names of the deceased to sell them credit cards. Hospital managers removed the wheels from wheelchairs to cut down on the number of patients on wheelchairs. In communism there were plans, przodownicy pracy and some other absurdities, figures in the plans were deliberately lowered to exceed it, now the race towards efficiency makes workers focus on the targets. The pressure to reach inflated goals creates temptation to tamper with figures. Thank God my job is assessed on the basis of quality, not quantity. A system of targets was meant to encourage individuals and teams to compete (like on constructions sites of socialism), in turn the outcome was often opposite as in the case of school rankings – rich children go to better schools, clever, but poor go to worse one and so the gap is growing!

6. Having touched upon the schooling, the film raises also the issue of social mobility, limited in the culture of freedom. Here what comes to mind is a question about the role of government in fighting inequality. In my view, governments should target inequality and keep it on optimum level, that is not so big that it hampers development (the poor stand no chance of social advancement, so there is no incentive to even try) and not so low that there is no incentive for striving any goals. On optimum level, the state offers opportunities for those who are too poor to receive proper education but have potential to grow and then leaves them alone as grown-ups. A sustainable development is in long-term impossible with high inequalities – those disadvantaged will sooner or later vote for populists who will point at the guilty of their misery and the effects of toppling the old system will be piteous.

7. Maths and numbers generally have become a new deity for the advocates of the new system. But think if everything can be measured and calculated – quality, satisfaction, happiness, freedom? Can we use complex mathematical models to describe economy? Would they prove useful on stock markets where prices are driven by decisions of millions of investors, which in turn are driven by thousands of more or less rational premises? My take on the issue is that psychological phenomena generally are very hard to measure and sometimes bringing in numbers might bring more harm than good.

8. Who the hell has the right to adjudicate what is normal and what not? Human character and psyche are too complex to be described with numbers and even if someone does so, it would mean unification – the same model for all people, when people are so different. Who wants to kill humanity by killing diversity, when beauty of mankind consists in diversity. Who created a culture of happiness, ideal traits, perfect people, etc? The pursuit of the ideal pushes millions of people into mental disorders every year. Young, ambitious, creative, flexible, clever, slim, brave, dynamic, enthusiastic, open-minded, sun-tanned, well-travelled, well-dressed, go on for hours… There is an image of ideal woman / man, but when the pursuit of ideals contributes to our development and when it leads up to obsessions? If you don’t fit in, should you feel worse off? Are those who want to break away from the rigid codes of happiness labelled mad?

9. And finally, let’s ask what the freedom actually is. There is a distinction between positive and negative liberties. The former is identified with leftist concept of freedom, the latter with the rightist. This has not been mentioned in the film, but notice that right-wing and left-wing politicians define freedom in different ways. Lefts will say you’re free to have an abortion, rights will tell you should be free from tax burdens… The most absurd thing is that freedom can be imposed – as no one can be forced to be happy, no one can be forced to be free. Freedom is not built in to many cultures and people have been getting on with it for centuries, as in Muslim societies, now somebody wants to step in and say he knows better. Attempts of imposition of freedom ended up with violence and cruelty. I also think military interventions were not launched to liberate suppressed nations but for other ends. And end justifies the means…

WARNING - The passage above is quite obnoxious.

Imagine dear reader you and I sit in a bar, sip beer, but you’re despondent, have some problems and can’t really enjoy the meeting. Your face shows sadness, but I want you to have fun because it’s good for you. You can’t overcome the sadness so I shout at you and tell you I want to see a f**king smile on your f**king face. When you don’t smile I grow impatient and beat you to a pulp and finally you smile, out of pure fear that in the next bout of anger I may break your limbs, crunch your ribs, scoop out your eyes. Is what is written above normal?

So what the word ‘freedom’ means? For me – RESPONSIBILITY, readiness to be bear consequences of my deeds and decisions, not the right to do whatever I want and not pursuit of my happiness. And the role of a government is to protect me, but not from myself, but from other self-serving people.

Many threads are deliberately unfinished just to trigger a discussion.

On crosses, rants, presidents and would-be presidents

But before I dwell on the current issues my apologies to Adthelad. Regrettably, I did not find time to watch “The Trap” so understandably I cannot review it today. When will it happen? Hmmm… Pending…

I had a second busy week at work, but everything seems to indicate the pressure is going to ease up a bit in the coming days so maybe three evenings will be enough to watch three parts of the documentary, jot down some key points and remarks and then put it together and share on the blog with the readers.

From the beginning of the year weather has had many swings and has surprised Poles many times. This week’s stars were storms and downpours: one on Tuesday, another yesterday. If meteorologists are right, today we should expect a repetition of yesterday’s show. I have guests today, so there might be a bit of a problem, or a necessity to put them up overnight.

This week has been extremely hot in the politics. On Tuesday Poland witnessed an attempt to move the cross from outside the presidential palace. The operation was scheduled for that day, as an agreement between the scouts (who had put up the cross), the Church (cross is a religious symbol) and the presidential office (it is their premise) has been reached. Predictably, unrelenting defenders of the cross (excellent rant by fellow blogger Scatts, I fully back him) blocked the whole operation, the state gave in and the cross is still left outside the palace and a group of weirdoes are still guarding it. Many leftist and liberal commentators hailed the Tuesday events as the failure of Polish state. I partly agree, for the following reasons:

1. Poland is theoretically a secular state so this symbol should not be present in a public space, in front of one the most important official edifices, but on the other hand it is no longer a religious symbol, it is a purely political symbol. The cranks who scuffled with the police on Tuesday called priests “communist secret service agents in disguise” and named scouts “Bolsheviks”, as befits truly religious Catholics. They pray during their sentry, but I wonder to whom – I do not think to God, this is the shrine to late president Kaczynski, I suppose. The cross is a political symbol (and no mistake?).

2. Why can a group of people appropriate a public place and a cross they didn’t even put up. In most countries such an illegal assembly outside a public building (unless there’s a reason for it, as it was during the mourning in April) would be gently scattered to four winds. Here, as the defenders of the cross point out with unhidden satisfaction, the System was totally HELPLESS. The System was overcome, the anarchy is victorious. But it is not the fact that this cross is still there that fills me with dread. I don’t care if there is a cross, two crosses, one thousand crosses and how many PiS-lovers chain themselves to them. There is a Polish proverb which goes roughly: “Let them bite your finger and they’ll eat your whole arm”. I am afraid once the state has succumbed to their claims, they will be impudently eager to break other laws.

3. And there is a reason why I am content the cross is still there. Bearing in mind how dogged its defenders are, the operation of moving it to a nearby church would end up with a bloodshed and those injured would be made martyrs. And sorry to say that, I would not swallow it. I heard double Dutch about martyrs who died in a plane crash (or rather were murdered by the System) and I would surely lose my temper if heard about a PiS-believer wounded or, Heaven forbid, killed by the functionaries of the System.

BTW – look at how Moscow looks today – the fog over the capital of Russia is the best evidence to support the hypothesis that Russians can create fog and they did it in Smolensk on 10 April ;)

I fully understand why Mr Komorowski is reluctant to move into the presidential palace. I would also feel uneasy if outside my house picketed a group of people who would call me a traitor or find me an illegitimate president.

PO once again proved to be too timorous to get to grips with some contentious issues. Two months ago I thought PO was in line with my moderate social views. SLD with its ostentatious anti-clericalism was too leftist for me. Today, if the only criterion for voting for a party were social views and I did not give a damn about the economy, I would vote for SLD…

A propos economy. What do you make of the plans of VAT hike? Am I one of the minority who think it is necessary and justified. In my perception of economic policy a balanced budget and low public debt are more likely to guarantee sustainable economic growth than low taxes which generate deficits. I have never been optimistic about moves of PiS-led government which cut taxes and other burdens when the economy was booming. Such moves are apposite when economy is in the doldrums to stimulate it, not when the growth is running at 5 or 6 per cent per year. It was like adding fuel to the fire and it contributed to current budget setbacks. Everyone knows Polish social security system is ailing, but is it a reason to cut its revenues (sickness benefit contribution) without cutting down on expenses? The same about taxes – taxation rates went down and at the same time government spending was boosted. What do I make – the objective of the government should be to generate budget surplus, through both raising taxes and retrenchments. Low level of public debt means government is unlikely to increase taxes and this certainty creates a really friendly environment for businesses. The move made by PiS in 2006 was very short-sighted and those who benefited from it surely were not the voters of the party.

Breaking news – Mr Kaczynski’s statement on the Mr Komorowski’s swearing-in ceremony.

For those who do not know yet, Mr Kaczynski was absent at that ceremony. One version is that he had to pick up his mother from a hospital (I wonder if he used a private car for it and paid for it from his own purse) and surely fortuitously arranged for the day when the ceremony was scheduled to be held, the other is, as deputy Mariusz Błaszczak had said, that Mr Kaczynski’s absence was obvious in the light of how critical PO politicians were about his brother. Hang on, is it not normal in democracy to be critical about someone else’s rule?

Now some quotes from Mr Kaczynski’s today’s appearance.

1. To zaprzysiężenie było wynikiem śmierci mojego brata i i moich bliskich (That swearing-in was an implication of my brother’s and my relatives’ deaths)
Rebuttal: If you had become a president it would also have been because of their deaths. If your brother was alive he would run for presidency, not you!

2. Sądzę, iż w dużej mierze został on wybrany prezydentem przez nieporozumienie, bo jestem przekonany, że bardzo wiele osób, które na niego głosowały zapateryzmu w Polsce nie chce (I think it was a considerable misunderstaning that Mr Komorowski was elected a president, I am convinced many of his voters do not want Zapatero-like policies in Poland).
Rebuttal: Mr Komorowski is too timid to take steps characteristic for leftist social agendas, but he was elected because many leftist voters put a cross against him to choose the lesser of two evils. As far as I can see around, most Poles want the cross to be removed from outside the palace, but they do their bits and do not protest, those who want the cross to stay there make the noise. It would have been a misunderstanding if you had been elected a president. Mr Komorowski did not lie about his Catholicism and has not used religion to wage a war against “enemies” (you love that word, do not you, it is one of your favourites). You told stories to Poles about your change and returned to the rhetoric of aggression after the lost election. If you had won, you would have done the same, it is natural for you. The result of recent election many Poles put stock in your change. Soon, when they realise you are just a mendacious man with lust for power, the support for your lousy party drops. And after all rows over the cross the one who gains will be SLD.

Over. Just a month ago I did not bear any grudge against PiS, its voters and acolytes, today I would hold back from declaring that. I think I lost my temper.

Polish mileage cult and other motoring curiosities

No, I didn’t forget to take the camera, the batteries were down and it takes 16 hours to recharge them so I used a crappy camera of my Nokia 3110 Classic.

Now try to guess how old the car whose odometer is shown on the picture above is. Those who read PES carefully and regularly will surely have no problems giving the correct answer.

Now you’ll ask: “How come?”. Normally such a mileage is typical for a two-year-old car. The prescription is simple: do not use a car when it’s not necessary. Firstly – cut down on short journeys – if your destination is less than 3 kilometres / 2 miles away, there’s absolutely no use taking a car, unless there’s a serious justification, such as: something heavy to carry, driving an ailing person to a doctor, doing big, weekly shopping, etc. Secondly – use alternative means of transport – for healthy people bike is an alternative, as long as the distance is below around 20 kilometres, weather is permitting and a cyclist doesn’t have to dress up. Public transport, whenever cheap and reliable makes a good solution. I can see no point in getting around the centre of Warsaw in any other way, mostly given the shortage and cost of parking space there. So the low-mileage car has been used for mid-distance journeys three of four times a week and as I counted it’s had nine long (at least 300 kilometres to a destination and back) trips.

Poles as a nation have a peculiar approach to cars, which are still the symbol and benchmark of social status. Few people buy new cars, the most often quoted for it are financial and utilitarian. The first group includes: high price, depreciation in value of 30% in the first year, high costs of insurance and servicing. A key argument from the second group of reasons is that there’s no point in buying a new car if the roads are bad, an old car can be repaired by any mechanic in any road-side garage and generally if something bad happens it won’t be a pity.

Poles buy used cars, but change them very often. Changing cars is like climbing a ladder of social status – a Pole starts with an 18-year-old Fiat Uno (a model example to the right), a few months later changes it for a 16-year-old Ford Fiesta, after two years buys a 12-year-old Volkswagen Golf and after next three years sells it and purchases a 9-year-old Opel Vectra. The next step is swapping an almost new Vectra for a brand-make German car, such as BMW, Audi or Mercedes, no matter how old and rickety it is – the make matters! It’s very difficult to find Poles, who, in spite of their low income decide to buy a new car once in ten years or more and replace it with a next new one once maintaining the old one is no longer cost-effective. Just compare how well-maintained first-owner cars are and how those which change hands three or four times look.

It goes without saying that if few new cars are sold in Poland and Poles want to buy used cars, the demand much surpasses domestic supply and so we have import used cars from our Western neighbours, who no longer want to drive those clapped-out bangers and sell them for a song to our home-grown car traders. As a result Poland has become a scrap-yard of Western Europe, an average car in my country is 12-year-old…

An average Pole, although cash-strapped, is a picky buyer. What determines technical condition of a vehicle is a mileage. This measurement is actually very imprecise. Compare two cars which covered 30,000 kilometres – one used in town only (traffic jams, etc.), the other driven on motorways. How an owner of a car maintains it and uses it also matters. We all know all vehicles brought to Poland from Germany are first-owner, non-accident cars used by well-off, over-cautious German grandpas who used it once a week to drive to a Church, kept it in a garage and polished its bodywork from dawn to dusk, therefore mileage after twelve years is 100,000 kilometres or less. If the mileage is too high it means a car’s wear and tear disqualifies it as roadworthy, so a natural reaction of a car trader who deals in high-mileage, but well-maintained car is to roll back the odometer. It might be quite natural, as they’re just trying to earn a livelihood by trading in cars, but it looks more absurd when they come into a low-mileage car in showroom condition, whose owner for some reasons wants to dispose of it. Low mileage is dubious, so to make the car more credible traders tamper with the odometer to increase the mileage. After some research I carried out I can tell you the optimum mileage (for a Polish buyer) is between 15,000 and 20,000 kilometres per year…

Changing odometer’s readout is illegal – some of you would argue. Actually not, you can correct the readout to show the mileage you want to see as often as you want and do it legally. It becomes a crime when you do sell a car and do not inform a buyer what the actual mileage is. Every company which provides services of correcting odometers’ readout has on its website a disclaimer or reservation that correction is legal as long as a new owner of a car is informed about the actual mileage.

But isn’t rolling back the odometer a kind of self-delusion? Odometer should truly and fairly show the distance a car has covered…

And don’t ask about buying the 42,243-kilometres car. First-owner, non-accident, low-mileage cars and rarely for sale!

Will we ever take in death?

Birth is a miracle. Actually the very act of conception is a miracle, the very fact that a new life is created and developed almost out of nothing. Just two cells brought together can produce a new human being. There is one causation of why people are born, but they die for thousands reasons. We never know when and how we will pass away, who will survive us and who will depart before we reach the end of our time here.

Death is also a miracle, only we somehow fail to accept it. A birth, quite naturally, is accompanied by joy. Usually when something begins people are happy and when it ends they tend to be sadder. So the death should involve sadness, which has its specific name – mourning. Symbolised by dark clothes is in fact a state of mind, the way humans try to cope with bereavement. It has several stages, from shock and disbelief up to picking up the pieces and trying to live a normal life, reconciled with the tragedy. What happens to us after the decease remains a secret. The body dies away, but what happens to the spirit? Christian theology comes up with hell, purgatory and heaven – three places where departed souls can reach in the afterlife, depending on their conduct on earth. It is still a mystery and I suppose the fear of death most of us feel is the fear of the unknown, of turning into non-existence.

The thoughts of transience did not haunt me without any specific reason. I have a weird habit – on every New Year’s Eve I wonder if a coming year will be good or bad. The only criterion to determine is if I would attend any funeral. Last seven years were not good in this respect, this year was good until Thursday. I came from work and heard of my mother’s cousins death, premature (she was just 58), but not unexpected. For the last ten years she had been fighting cancer. In the first battle fought in 2000 and 2001 she managed to overcome the disease. The tumour was dormant for next seven years and made itself felt in 2008. For a year therapy proved successful, aunt could function normally until July 2009, then her health began to deteriorate. Her doctors did not let up until the beginning of the previous week. Until then there was still a glimmer of hope…

Today I attended the funeral…

Regardless of the ceremony I felt some sort of anxiety. Exactly on 24 July a year ago my mother underwent a complicated surgery with some complications. I never felt as scared as on that day, those misgivings returned this year and coincided with the funeral. The feeling which keeps me company every day got so intense – is the end round the corner? We all have learnt to get on with it or to drive it away. My colleague leaves the office. Will she be back there tomorrow? Will she not be killed in a traffic accident on her way home? Will I return home safely? Will my both parents be alive in a year? Who will die first, mother or father? I ask such questions a few times a week, I have done so for many years and did not go crazy. How come? I wonder if anyone on 10 April 2010 had doubts if members of Polish delegation to Katyn would return home safely…

The relationships in our family were not very close and I did not take this loss very personally, nevertheless as every such event it made me ponder upon the fragility of human life.

This funeral was in a way odd. Firstly, I have never seen so many people weeping so loudly and openly at a funeral. Secondly, I treated the ceremony as a review of human reactions to bereavement.

My aunt was survived by:
1) Mother, my grandfather’s sister. I saw her at her husband’s funeral four years ago, I saw her at my grandfather’s funeral two years ago. Then she was dejected but she was bearing it up. It was the fourth funeral at which I saw mother crying over the grave of her child and it only strengthened by conviction nothing worse can happen.
2) Husband. I haven’t got a clue why, but many men refuse to accept how seriously ill their wives are and the death comes to them as a bolt from the blue. Women are harder, they have more courage to face up to critical situations, men try to deceive and delude themselves. Is it a way of coping with what they are not capable of coping with? God knows, they end up shocked, in tears.
3) Son. She had never been really proud of him. I looked at his face and my only diagnosis was disbelief. After two days it was still possible.
4) Sister. The most sane in the whole close family, despondent, but seeming to have got through the most difficult phase of mourning.
5) Granddaughter, aged 14. She could not help weeping during the whole ceremony. It is the age when teenagers find it hard to get to grips with their emotions, not the best time to see a member of family fading away and departing much too early.

I had more luck. When my maternal grandmother died I was only 4 and did not understand what was going on. When my maternal grandfather died I was 20. I was more mature and surely found it easier to tackle his decease. He was 87 then and died totally naturally, out of old age, in his sleep, without unnecessary suffering, having received last rites, ready to pass away. At least it gave some relief.

My paternal grandparents are both 84, they still manage on their own, but one day they’ll surely depart. When? How will I react? Uncertainty crops up once again…

And once again the world did not come to a standstill, although seemingly it should have…

Turn off the heating, please

The weather’s been going over the top this year. To quote some figures: average temperature in January was roughly six degrees lower than long-term average, snow cover in Warsaw reached in mid-February 53 centimetres, in May Poland was flood-stricken, damages totalled up to more than 10 billion zlotys and now the hot spell. After weeks abounding in rainfalls the word ‘drought’ sounds a bit silly, but that’s what we actually have in Warsaw, where we haven’t had any rainfalls since 6 July. To boot, temperature has been hitting +30C or more for nine consecutive days. Heat waves are nothing unusual in Poland, July 2006 was one endless string of sunshine, boiling heat and lack of precipitation, this year the history may repeat itself.

After cool May and moderate June almost everybody (not me!) longed for warmth. As far as I noticed virtually everyone’s had enough of heat after one week of Saharan temperatures. I don’t know which day was the hottest. My car thermometer showed +36C on Thursday, but it was when the traffic was snarled up and my journey from Metro Wilanowska to home lasted one hour – I got stuck in a traffic jam after a motorbike-rider had an accident in Mysiadło and his vehicle, an ambulance and fire engine blocked two lanes. I felt really sorry for commuters who had to travel by sweatboxes that afternoon.

Really lucky are those who have a luxury of driving air-conditioned cars. Travelling is far more comfortable, but the number of tragic accidents on days when temperature hits 30s, sun shines and visibility is good is very high. Drivers tend to put their foots down, but weather is deceptive – just a lapse of concentration and the tragedy is a matter of split second. Right: the upshot of unfavourable mixture of my thoughtlessness, haste, tiredness, inexperience, inattention and taking for granted nothing wrong can happen just outside my own house. ‘Something bad can happen along on the road, but not here’ – I thought. I made a dent on a front bumper in a particularly imbecilic way – I tried to park swiftly in front of my gate, swung the car too quickly and smashed into the brick underpinning of my fence. My neighbours must have had a schadenfreude, thankfully nobody filmed it, as the film could be only sent out to makers of “World’s worst drivers” compilation. After all nothing serious happened, my father (after he cooled off) managed to bring the bumper to its proper shape and varnished it. In reality it doesn’t look as badly as lit by the flashlight in a dark garage, at first glance when you stand a few metres away from the car it’s not even visible. Repairing this (what would mean buying a new bumper hence it’s seriously scratched to the right after my father slid on icy slope and rubbed against the garage door) would cost too much, the car won’t be sold in a few years, quite probably it will never change hands so the mangled bumper will not bring down its resale value. Lesson learnt, now I have to carry on without making such stupid mistakes.

Saturday was undoubtedly the hottest day, temperature in the afternoon hit +35C. Today, on Sunday it’s cooler (currently +25C), but unbearably close. Temperature at home reached yesterday +32.5C, I even somehow got used to it. People find different ways of coping with heat. The common denominator is water. This year problems with water supply in NI are rare, but when the taps run dry it’s no laughing matter. During the current hot spell water pressure was slightly lower than usual but I had no problems taking a shower. Except Sunday, 11 July (when I could bath normally in the bathroom on ground floor) and Friday, 16 July, when there was absolutely no water at all and I ended up bathing in drops of cold water before midnight. Yesterday, despite +35C water was running normally, today forecasters are expecting storm which will bring the desired rainfalls and put the heat wave to the end. Meanwhile my neighbours bought a big foldable pool, poured six or more cubic metres of water into it sat there all (roughly five people at the same) from late morning till dusk for five days of more. The water (not changed) was yesterday as my neighbours claimed +36C hot and the pong was felt in my garden…

It’s been a hot week in politics as well. Jarosław Kaczynski has taken off his mask and returned to his old habits: dividing Poles, verbal blackmailing, passing moral judgements, throwing accusations. New lights are being shed on the Smolensk plane crash. Still I wonder how it’s going to end up. Plus I wonder why blogs run by Michael Dembinski and Toyah haven't been updated since Friday, when they were supposed to have a heated discussion over my last post. Both Toyah and Michael are even-tempered and mild-mannered so I’m sure they didn’t come to blows, but other readers and I would surely be elated to have their curiosity satisfied, if both bloggers gave their own accounts of their certainly fruitful debate.

Cel uświęca środki – a message to my compatriots from the other side of the invisible barricade

I know it, the corporation has made me a sluggish blogger, the heat wave does not serve as an incentive to indulge in writing, so in the coming weeks you will probably find here only one post per week, published over the weekend. But do not worry, I will try to scribble something quaint for Polandian.

Recently I wrote here much about politics. After Mr Komorowski won the final battle I thought about giving up on that topic for a while, but I cannot make that break without having the last word. In the recent weeks I got caught up (yes, adthelad will say I provoked it and he will be actually right) in a discussion with Poland’s Best Political Blogger of 2009, Toyah. The main topic of his posts, published recently only on his own site (administrators of salon24 portal banned some of his posts and eventually he took umbrage and moved writing into an independent location) is not just politics. He is committed and ardent supporter of Jarosław Kaczyński and PiS. Some readers would surely accuse him of a big dose of bias in his blogging, so if you are one of them, glance at the box to the right, at the top of the page. We have democracy and it involves free speech, what means everyone should have a right to air their views, as long as they do it in a civilised way, do not insult nor libel anyone. But the at the heart of free speech lies the right to gainsay what your fellow men say and now I am going to exercise this right.

Toyah is a gifted and prolific writer, moreover he unfortunately is currently jobless, so he can spend much more time blogging than me I do not intend to make this post an endless string of polemics, so I will focus only on the posts published after the run-off of the election.

Over the past week Toyah has been in a funk after The Russian Bour had won the election, or, in other words 53% of manipulated voters had chosen to back the lesser of two evils.

In his post On winter in the middle of the summer he invokes a gross injustice which led up to the bad choice Poles made. Given the support for Mr Komorowski and Mr Kaczyński two months earlier he might claim Mr Komorowski has narrowly escaped failure. He writes about a wasted chance, but his post, as almost any other lacks an in-depth analysis, not of the support Mr Komorowski enjoys, but why so many voters hold something against Mr Kaczyński. Of course Toyah gives several reasons which boil down to manipulations plotted by the System, about a Bad Man, about a plan a deity from above follows out. In the comment thread one of the readers quoted Mr Tusk’s (probably) statement that Mr Kaczynski has a lust for power. Every politician has it, if they had not had, they would not have been into politics, the issue is just what means politicians harness to fight for power. Lemming, another active commentator and a graduate of my university briefly laid out why he voted for Mr Kaczyński. I fully accept his reasoning, the way we differ is how we understand what is good for Poland. We have common goals, the only difference is how we want to achieve them. Lemming would opt for aiming at those goals at all costs, I would prefer more compromise and reconciliation.

On Tuesday it turned out my request for a justification why Mr Kaczyński is the best choice prompted Toyah to change his plans and dedicate the inaugural post (after leaving the salon24), It is time for Jarosław, to me. Toyah is convinced my biggest dream is to exclude Mr Kaczyński from the public discourse for ever, for no specific reason, just because I think he should be denied the basic right to voice his views. In truth my view of Mr Kaczynski’s presence in politics is the same as in Toyah’s example of Mr Napieralski and Mr Kołodko. I simply think it would be better for Poland if he and his party did not wield power and nothing more! And I go along with Toyah who points out why Jarosław Kaczyński is a remarkable politician. If he had not been that unwavering and outstanding he would not have come back to power after being pushed out of politics in the 1990s. Moreover, given all assaults launched at him he keeps holding up well! I really regret Toyah refused to lay it out, step by step, in the simplest words, why Mr Kaczyński would be the best president of Poland. I may only wonder why. If it is so obvious, there is nothing easier than committing it to the blog, maybe he would even convert some other lost Poles. At the end he asks why people hate Mr Kaczyński so much if he is so wonderful. I would not bother to ask about those who hate him, hatred is not a commendable feeling and hardly ever builds anything, it usually destroys. I would ask why so many people are afraid of Mr Kaczyński. An Anonymous commentator speaks about the układ, he still believes it exists. Maybe it exists, maybe not, I am too small to answer that question, but is Mr Kaczyński big enough to crack down on the układ on his own? Or maybe conversely, would not they be more capable of destroying him? Many readers brought up the issue of the disadvantaged, those who did not benefit from the transition and who now are the target of Kaczynski. Yes, I agree, the discrepancy is growing, every week I see both opulence and poverty, they are worlds apart. This inequality is not shocking, it is indispensable in free-market economy, I personally cannot stand how the rich fail to understand the problems of the poor and how the poor refuse to accept the rich could have come into their wealth by playing their cards right.

A day later the blog had its official, belated premiere. In the post titled Right-wing dab hands Toyah brings to account the guilty of Mr Kaczynski’s failure. For Toyah Mr Komorowski’s presidency will be a punishment meted out by God – a good point, maybe this key will unlock the door… How did it happen that we let that woman become a first lady, he asks. Now a bit of malice – who would become a first lady if… you know what. Toyah reproaches journalists of Gazeta Polska for not giving due and sufficient support to Jarosław Kaczyński. The journalists pulled Mr Kaczynski up for what the contender had said about Edward Gierek (a patriot) or about Józef Oleksy (a middle-aged leftist politician). They saw those moves as a betrayal, for Toyah they were logical and justified, actually natural in his pursuit of power. Tactics needs to be changed and concessions have to made in order to reach the end. End justifies the means, Toyah only confirms it. I have to stand up for Mr Sakiewicz and Mr Ziemkiewicz. I have hardly ever agreed with their views, but I could not say about them what other fellows from my side of the barricade would say. They were not the acolytes of PiS. They and many other journalists, such as Mr Terlikowski, have their own views and at least stick to their guns, they are idealistic. Toyah is pragmatic – he thinks if a move can help win the election, there is no doubt it should be made. He highlights Mr Kaczynski’s intention: now it is time to win the election, later we will take back these words about ex-communists. I don’t know how it looks for you, dear reader, for me it is a fine example of duplicity and end-justifies-the-means approach to politics and I will not approve of it. I will not refer to the Wawel spat, but I will quote the last paragraph – he calls Mr Zawisza an enemy just because he pointed at Kaczynski’s inconsistency. Toyah took a leaf out of Mr Kaczynski’s book – the crucial thing is to find an enemy! Now I know why Kaczynski’s vision of Poland took his fancy.

Thursday’s post Men at work did not even need to have its title translated. I don’t know why Toyah wants God to get caught up in this little Polish cesspit. Maybe this is the punishment for "obeying" catholic teachings – is it in line with catholic teachings to accuse someone of murder if you do not have any evidence? Michael D. and I have asked Toyah to give us some details of that alleged murder. To no avail, words of murder are repeated like a mantra and if you repeat something several times, you will finally believe in it. This is how the myth has been created, it has been created from the very beginning. I know and even hold it against the government that circumstances of that tragedy are still unknown. I would love to see all doubts dispelled, but even then for Toyah and the likes it would still be an assassination.

And so we’re alive – Solidarni. The long story recounted. Tell about those people whatever you want, you do not try to deny the tragedy has brought them together. Once pushed around, ridiculed, degraded, they had guts to raise their heads and claim their presence in public debate. Since the tragedy they have shown how strong and united they are, proved their dedication and devotion. But there is a crack on the picture – why do they call themselves Solidarni? As a community they are united, but they are just a part of the nation. I would not like to destroy the new movement, but I am against the way they divided Poles – into the righteous patriots (themselves) and those who had not cried after the tragic death of the late president. This is unfortunately part of the rhetoric Mr Kaczynski has adopted – they and us, bad and good. There was a ceasefire for the period of the campaign but it was just a tactical move, soon it is gone. Actually ardent believers of Mr Kaczynski prefer that divide line – they need to separate themselves from the rest of the society who despise them. PO has supporters, PiS has ardent believers. I hope the new movement will grow in power quickly, quickly enough to mobilise German servants and Russian sidekicks to create the opposition to it. Hey, it is a daydream, PO voters would not give a damn. They will not join any movement, they can only go to the polls and thwart some plans… Maybe Poland is founded on lies and hatred, but the Solidarni are also full of hatred and I suppose it is a kind of revenge for all they suffered before. Anyway, there are people who hate Kaczynski, but there are much more who are afraid of him. I personally confess I am not that afraid, as long as dissenters are not his enemies I feel safe, but there was one moment after 10 April when a spark of hatred went through my head, but after a moment it morphed into anger. It was on 4 July, when Mr Kaczynski said his brother and other fatalities of the plane crash had died martyrs. Can anyone tell me why that tragic accident was a męczeńska śmierć?

Lord, listen to our prayers. The heat is getting unbearable so it is time to draw to a close. Can anyone tell me why Poles fall out and break friendships because of politics? I know many educated people, my peers, who are PiS-followers and guess what – it is not the reason not to be on speaking terms, we are still friends, we just avoid talking about politics! Political views should not tear us apart, but many hard-line supporters of both PO and PiS do that.

End justifies the means, not to a degree the world witnessed in the twentieth century, but small sins are surely acceptable in IV RP. As far as I know Jarosław Kaczynski did not accept his niece’s second husband, a son of one of SLD tycoons. Now Mr Dubieniecki is going to join PiS and soon might be one of the most prominent politicians of the party. Whenever the power is at stake it is surprisingly easy to change views.

Komentarze po polsku mile widziane.

A sigh of relief

Or not yet? Perish the thought! It was a close call - depending on the poll Mr Komorowski has the edge of two to seven percentage points over Mr Kaczynski.

This day was marked for me by a blend of fear and certainty. I somehow felt Poles have their heads screwed in and remember the rule of Jarosław Kaczyński and his deceased brother, but the certainty was balanced by fear. The fear that Poles would shrug off the election, go fr holidays, etc. Today in the morning I was queuing up for five minutes to cast a vote and people around didn't look like PO-voters. Then in the afternoon I cycled around the neighbourhood and stopped outside a few polling stations. I looked at those faces, I came back home, turned the TV on and looked at those faces and feared the worst, though hoped for the best.

The turnout, around 53 per cent, lower than two weeks ago, wasn't impressive, but majority of Poles decided to take the matters into their hands and choose a peaceful and future-oriented president. Now it's time for Poland to move ahead, without squabbling, suspisions, without playing dirty and putting into practice the old adage "end justifies the means". Yes, I still claim Mr Komorowski will probably be a mediocre president, but he is predictable and at least he guarantees peaceful, balanced presidency, based on mutual respect, co-operation, pursuit of compromise and mutual respect.

I wonder when the first protest is logded to the supreme court and I wonder what the supporters of Mr Kaczynski feel now. If you can share your emotions with me, leave a comment please.

The last bombshell

Yet before I have to keep my mouth shut, the last gasp of the campaign. Actually I wonder what happened in the last days that began to tip the scales for Mr Kaczynski? Was the final phase of Mr Komorowski campaign full of slip-ups? Have so many Poles realised he is an enemy, if he gets backing from “ex-communists”? Did Mr Kaczynski perform that well during the debate on Wednesday? Or maybe he won over some voters by saying comrade Gierek was a patriot? Was it a good move? Many of his voters still look back on the golden decade, which was the time of their lives – the system eased off, Poles felt a whiff or relative freedom and affluence. At the same time socialist economy fell into its knees, but did they care?

Having flattered those poor people who remembered 1970s as the time of prosperity, twin brother of the late president addressed students. A quaint idea, given that beginning of July is a period of long vacation in Poland and students generally tend to keep away for their schools. Despite unfavourable holiday season, Mr Kaczynski put in an appearance at the University of Warsaw, where he rolled out his agenda for students. Apart from reassuring he supported unpaid studies, even on two faculties, he brought up the same topic I raised in late March – unpaid internships. The candidate of Law and Justice claims all internships should be paid.

Maybe for some frustrated students the notion could be appealing, but let’s take a closer look. We live in a free country and unpaid internship contracts are nothing bad as long as both parties accede to the terms. A company gets labour force for free, a student gains experience and learns on-the-job. Any attempt to regulate it is doomed to fail, as a result many (poor) private companies would simply abandon their internship programmes.

This is an excellent example of a situation where something doesn’t function properly in the economy, but regulations can only make things worse. Offering remuneration for a doing a job, which means creating value added is a matter of decency. You can’t regulate corporate decency. After all market can function properly and companies which offer unpaid internship hire worse interns, because the better ones turn down their offers and take jobs where they get paid for it. Of course this applies as long as we speak about voluntary internships, not obligatory ones. Under some new regulations, every second-year student of BA programme at SGH will have to do an internship obligatorily. Thank God the internship I had after the second year of my studies wasn’t obligatory and wasn’t unpaid. I’d like to thank authorities of my school for taking away freedom and responsibility from students hands.