The dust has settled

Nearly four weeks past the break-up… Tenants of my girlfriend found a new dwelling easily, so she could move to her own flat last weekend. This weekend with some help of a friend of mine, who owns a lorry, we are finalising the moving. During three weeks under one roof, quality of our friendly relationship was pathologically good. All tensions have eased, but knowing the mechanics of decreasing expectations and eased pressure, we were not misled and both remain confident our romantic relationship was a dead-end street.

Actually we could have carried on as flatmates, however this would be tremendously insalubrious, as there were plenty of reasons to terminate that relationship and actual decoupling is a vital element of the break-up.

As it happens in such situations, I swing between conflicting feelings, from deep relief to hollowness. As my ex-girlfriend’s belongings were packed into boxes, the flat, chests of drawers, bookcases, wardrobe closets, they have all become underwhelmingly empty. It will take some time and I will take my time to come to terms with it.

In such circumstances most people get involved in doing things to drown out their emotions. New hobbies, taking up doing new sports, workaholism, compulsive shopping, rushing into dating, travels, addictions, catching up or starting out with stuff out of reach when they were in a relationship. It takes some courage to confront with one’s emotions, work them through and emerge wiser as you get past them.

Theoretically, I am single, practically I am still taken, since emotionally I am not ready for a new relationship and get on with myself reasonably well. The coming weeks or months, will be a time of focusing on myself, getting to know myself better, realising what my needs are. I have neglected myself in that relationship a bit, so before I’m back on the market, I need to restore the internal balance.

In the eve of narcissistic psychopath being sworn in

Usually when a populist gets hold of power, their rein turns out to be less scary than predicted. I put this mellowing out down to their strategy of flattering voters with hollow promises and safety valves embedded in democratic systems (unless populists cling to power for years and dismantle civilised institutions as Mr Orban and his cronies have done in Germany). Same might be the case with Donald Trump and my fear of him taking over is combined with some hopes he does screw it up worldwide all along.

In his campaign he promised to proscribe a ceasefire between Russia and Ukraine within 24 hours. Currently his advisors claim a realistic time horizon to bring the war to a halt is between 100 days and 6 months. The longer it takes, the better. Each day of warfare depletes Russia's resources and buys Europe time to prepare for a widespread aggression towards NATO. Nevertheless, Mr Trump will insist on impacting the course of the conflict as thus he will prove his might and powerfulness.

USA's leading role in NATO as a guarantor of western Europe's stability and safety is in question. Europe will be to some extent left to its own devices. Maybe Mr Trump's presidency will be a wake-up call for Europe to get its act together, as simple matters such as shifting to daylight saving time for the entire year are beyond its bureaucrats' decision-making capacity.

Mr Trump's considerations of taking over Canada or having designs on Greenland are so far the biggest red flags. Wladimir Putin, in a television appaerance just before its army invaded Ukraine, denied that Ukraine's right to exist. I believe the redneck president will confine to talking his head off and any conquest of non-US territories will be foiled by international treaties.

The crony of Mr Trump I currently fear more is Elon Musk. Much more brazen and having the grip over the fourth estate, looms as a bigger peril than the elderly redneck. Both guys are psychopathic personalities with lust for power, so I sincerely hope they fall out before long. Even if this happens, separately they will remain harmful.

The paragraph above reminds me of my recent fourth anniversary of joining Twitter, then not controlled by Mr Musk. I use it less frequently, rarely contribute, but have not deleted my account there just to have access to contents smart people still share there. Or should I vote with my legs and give it up altogether, to undermine Musk's empire of evil possibly much?

How not to screw your children’s lives - book review

Can’t recall now how I have come across a series of books by Mikołaj Marcela which dissect imperfections of the Polish schooling system. Past reading some of them, I do not wholeheartedly agree with all of the author’s assertions, yet I find the book valuable.

Familiarising with its content made me realise the current primary and secondary education system is based on principles worked out in Prussia in the first half of the nineteenth century and rests on obedience and discipline. The Prussian government, by imposing common schooling obligation wanted not just to promulgate education, but aimed at bringing up submissive citizens.

As the author points out, the schooling system in Poland and in most countries is uniform, not unique. All pupils, regardless of their unique talents and skills are pushed into ruthless frames of standardisation which kill the lust for knowledge and talent development.

Core deficiencies of Polish schools, nimbly depicted in the book are accurately pinpointed.
1) Agreeably, Polish school do not teach skills that could come in useful in real life. I wonder whether the assumption is that young adults should be taught useful skills at home, or that should learn the hard way the moment life necessitates it.
2) Beyond all doubt, school to not teach how to learn – such techniques need to worked out and mastered by pupils themselves.
3) Sadly the curricula too often favour memorizing facts, instead of focusing on understanding causations and teaching how to seek out information and to verify them (particularly important in the era of fake news).

With some exceptions of outstanding teachers, school classes do not inspire, seldom kick-start talent nurturing, rarely spur curiosity. Pupils are infrequently encouraged to challenge their tutors, to debate with one another. This is all put down to an obsolete model of one-side interactions between teachers and students, with the former passing on knowledge and testing its acquisition and the latter obediently listening and swotting up for tests and exams.

With the diagnosis of all the ailments eating up the Polish schooling one also must keep in mind several obstacles hinder its turnaround. A major reform would require a general consensus between stakeholders (government, teachers, parents) of the current system that it badly needs an overhaul and on directions in which it would need to be reshaped. Besides, if we were to ditch standardisation and treat children individually, it would require more workforce of higher quality, which means much more money (payrolls, but infrastructure too) would need to be injected to the education system. There also ought to be consensus a substantial chunk of public finances should be laid out for the education system, which in decades will determine Polish economy’s competitiveness. Those expenses would certainly pay themselves off.

P.S. On personal front, doing reasonably fine, though with ups and downs typical for such getting-over periods.

When the love runs out

With hindsight, dissimilarities between were so stark that calling ourselves a perfect match would have been a gross exaggeration. As we shook off the fascination and affection of the first months together, ample differences grew apparent, while the power of attraction waned. Facing the daily grind, while living under one roof has accelerated the realisation of the inevitable.

We talked a lot. We had many sincere conversations many couples probably do not have over their lifetime. It has not helped though. For several reasons, including my inhibitions, I was repeating a mistake of holding back speaking out about stuff which annoyed me, thus accumulating my anger.

The very decision to break up was mine, yet my ex-girlfriend, having got over the initial tremor, acceded to it and after a day or two, internalised it. I feared we would spark a hell on earth in my fifty square metres. Instead, we went separate ways peacefully and calmly. Had it happened a few months earlier, we would have fought for it, there would have been screams, shouts and tears. As the romantic feeling between us has definitely and (probably) irreversibly burnt out, we have reconciled with the imminent end.

We could be friends, travel companions, even flatmates (actually we acted like flatmates during the last weeks of our romantic relationship’s agony), but we our approaches to life diverged too much to give us a chance to raise a family. The gap between us was too wide, so even if we would both bend over backwards to go on compromise, each of us would depart from their self.

At times that relationship was toxic, at times unbearable, at times I just felt like quitting it right away. We are both smart, so our common senses told us both it would not just be uphill, it would get very steep. After two years and five months together, even with proper climbing equipment the ascent became an onerous ordeal. That slope became just too steep and rocks fell off it too frequently.

On Friday, after three days of getting on with each other surprisingly well under one roof, my ex-girlfriend set off to Wisła (I will miss stays there), mostly for the sake of consistency with the decision taken and mental hygiene.

There will be ups and downs on our ways to mend the broken hearts. We are now facing the unknown, including the uncertainty if we ever find our life companions.

But before we open ourselves for new opportunities, we will need to go through the logistics of the break-up. Tenants occupying my ex-girlfriend’s flat are deeply disconsolate to have to look out for a new dwelling. In question is our trip to USA rescheduled for April / May 2025, but I believe it is too early to resolve if to go there and who the participants will be.

After weeks or even months of struggling doubts I feel a bliss relief, which only validates it has been the best possible decision (given in such circumstances there are basically no good decisions – this one was “least bad”).

2024 comes to an end

A concise year-end summary. This time writing does not come easy to me, as I need to bring together some thoughts, cope with clashing emotions and resolve something.

2024 was a first full year of living with somebody under one roof. This is not the right moment for any stories of how we got along (or not) with each other over that period. I once signalled the relationship is not a bed of roses. Now I can assert it is full of spikes and the roses have withered.

In February I started out a new job for the same employer. I followed my ex-boss and joined his new team. Upsides: more reasonable workload, jumping back on a learning curve, slightly higher pay. Downsides: at times monotonous transactions, being tied up in corporate politics and administrative stuff. For some time I will not seek a new position inside the bank (by March 2027 I am bound by company car repayments on preferential terms, with high penalties if I terminated the contract before its maturity). I shall give myself some more time to verify if work in that team gives me sufficient self-fulfilment and satisfaction.

In early spring I got my vehicle upgraded. So far my Skoda Octavia has covered over 10,000 kilometres, almost nearly in long-distance journeys. I am generally content with the new car, despite electronics going bonkers (common glitch in contemporary cars) and some minor defects, which I need to sum up and make a warranty claim to have them fixed.

The event which has taken its toll most on me were my health problems with the lumbar spine. Being immobilised was a traumatic experience. Currently I still have some aches in my spine, but the memory of days when the pain was so acute that a walk to the toilet was a journey of a lifetime ensures I find no excuses not to exercise at least once a day.

Travel-wise, the trip to USA did not materialise due to aforementioned health problems. This was supposed to be the only major trip in 2024, so other travels were less frequent, shorter and rather local, with Czech Republic and Slovakia being the only destinations abroad.

Wishing you all guys all the best in 2025. Keep healthy and take care of yourselves!

Szlachetna Paczka - edition 2024

A thing of the past is becoming my fifth edition of Szlachetna Paczka as a volunteer. Sadly, it was the second-worst after 2020, when spreading benevolence was harshly hampered by Covid-19.

You could put it down to some sort of burnout. Ahead of the final weekend I also hatched such idea, but with hindsight I realised this has not been the case. Many things have gone wrong from scratch, with knock-on effect only worsening the final outcome.

I blame the most the leader, in charge of our area in 2024 edition. Having the experience from 2022 in mind, I refused to repeat a stint in that role and to be consistent with my decision, I strived not to be a back seat driver. Frankly speaking there has been no chemistry between us, but so was the case with all experienced volunteers. The guy lacked balls, lacked charisma, lacked drive and such spark that brings a circle of people together. 

Volunteers were not motivated properly; as a result we found far fewer families to be visited than in previous years. This year 65 families were visited and 42 onboarded (proportions from previous years: 2023 - 85/54, 2022 - 84/53, 2021 - 73/46). 

Visits to families started out with a two-week delay. Consequently, instead of 20 families published on the directory opening day, we had merely 4 to be picked by most precious donators.

Besides, there was a country-wide problem with donators, bigger than 2 years ago, but miraculously it was solved around a week before the final weekend, most likely thanks to a vivid media campaign. When the outlook was really bad, I bended over backwards to find donators, however I felt dreadfully lonesome in my endeavours.

The volunteers in our area also were not doing their best, some of them dropped off along the way. Maybe they were not properly guided or motivated, maybe our line-up was tainted by bad luck.

The final weekend did not go as smoothly as it used to over last 3 previous years. Logistics-wise, it came to a major chaos, like never before. I'm still trying to figure out what combination of factors contributed to that mess. I believe most were beyond my control, with electric lorry's battery down after 80 kilometres - it had to be replaced by a diesel-powered one with half a million kilometres on the clock... I could have planned transports with more headroom, which will be a lesson learnt for next years. But had I been a minister responsible for logistics, after such series of cock-ups, I would have been forced to hand in my resignation (in a civilised country).

The joy of delivering gifts to families wassimilar to experiences from past edition, however it was accompanied by much greater fatigue. Luckily, I got over it quite quickly. Bad memories fade quickly, but the benevolence-induced delight remains for much longer and keeps me company in the period of peace and serenity which commences now.

Park linearny - construction progress inspected

Last Monday, as I attempted to make the most of the clement weather (cloudless skies, day-time high of +7C), I ventured to the nearby construction site, where a linear park is built on areas above the Warsaw southern bypass tunnel.

The quite recent makeover of Park Cichociemnych lasted a year and a half and set a nefarious benchmark for the other restoration. Here, works commenced some three months ago and are relatively advanced, so I can hazard a guess it might become a hangout for locals in spring 2025.

According to the original concept, the park was supposed to splay out between ul. Pileckiego and ul. Rosoła, yet west of ul. Stryjeńskich the car parks where residents of ul. Kazury keep their vehicles remain intact. I would keep fingers crossed for turning them into greenery, but realise those cars would choke up other areas in the neighbourhood.

Looking east from ul. Stryjeńskich. A lot has been done, but the spot is way from completion. Plenty of workers potter about, probably also to move ahead with works, as long as autumnal weather permits.

In the middle of the area there are still large undeveloped areas ul. Płaskowickiej. Those will be most likely meadows, as lawns are out of fashion these days. Note the absence of tall trees. They could not put down roots here, as a few metres beneath the ground surface is the concrete ceiling of the aforementioned tunnel.

For children, one sees a small playground in the centre of the park, with what will become swings is currently fenced off to discourage those intent on using the unfinished amenities.

East of ul. Braci Wagów builders have their backstage spot, with mounds of soil, stones, sand and other stuff they need. The moon-like landscape brings to mind the early days of Ursynów, when the district was devoid of nearly any infrastructure.

Close to al. KEN, one can come across Miś Ursynek, a landmark symbol of the district, bringing out some associations with the cult Polish film by Stanisław Bareja. This piece is not just a decoration, it also will serve as a slide to smaller children.

As the inspector nears al. KEN, the proportion of area concreted over gets disturbingly high. This will not make this spot human-friendly on hot days. Paved areas ought to be scaled down to a bare minimum. In the distance, traces of some works under way are seen beyond al. KEN. Sadly, I lacked time to take a look out there.

The next post due in two weeks, as on next Saturday and Sunday falls the final weekend of Szlachetna Paczka.

Where is the war heading?

Two events in world politics from November have passed so far unnoticed on PES. I did not bother to comment on the victory of the narcistic redneck in the US presidential election. Then came the scheduled event, to my positive surprise, echoing in the media – 19 November 2024 was the 1,000th day of the invasion to Ukraine. Those forgetful are now reminded the operation was planned to last three days and end up in installing a puppet government in Kyiv.

Nearly three years after those days Russia controls roughly 20% of the Ukraine’s territory and is slowly progressing. Faced with an imminent power handover, the democratic administration in the US have resolved to allow Ukraine to hit military targets in Russia with weapons delivered by them. This seemed a game changer, but in fact solidifies a stall in the conflict.

Time before the redneck and his cronies takes over is running out. He intends to freeze the warfare, plausibly by leaving territories held by occupiers within their borders. For Russia it means some areas in the Kursk region would stay under Ukraine’s control. If such scenario is the most likely, Ukraine should strive to take over an even bigger territory of Russia, as this decreases odds of Russians agreeing on warfare freezing.

Shortly commenting on the Trump’s victory – I hope once he is sworn in, he will be less unpredictable than he appeared in the campaign and he will be surrounded by wise advisors holding back his silly conceptions. Besides, Europe must act now, as if it was left to its own devices, hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

Krynica Zdrój in November

Back from the longest holidays in 2024. The initial plan was to fly to the US west coast, then an idea to venture somewhere to the Mediterranean region was on the table, but was abandoned, due to long journey duration. Eventually, we ended up driving to a resort in southern Poland for a few days.

The was my first holidaying in November. Unlike most people who take days off in the bleakest month of the year, I did not head for an exotic, warm destination, but stayed in cool Poland (November 2024 might be the first month in the current year with mean temperature below long-term average).

Before we set off to Krynica-Zdrój, we popped over to Wisła to drop off the dog to my girlfriend’s parents. We stayed there for the long weekend, to avert sky-high accommo- dation prices and turned out to be lucky to enjoy full sunshine, unlike nearly the rest of Poland. On 10 November, exactly two months after the worst moment of my ailments, I took the dog, the trekking sticks and climbed a mountain for the first time since the malady hit me. My walk to the picturesque hill of Cienków involved a five-kilometre hike (there and back) with elevation gain of 250 metres. The descent was worse than the ascent, as somehow I did not lose my fitness, but the steep path in a mud, with a dog hauling me was a bit of nasty.

The very town of Krynica-Zdrój loses some of its charm in November, but with no crowds in place, one can take delight in beauty of building erected on the side of the main precinct, dating back to Austro-Hungarian realm, especially shyly lit by autumnal sun.

The monument commemorates the most famous artist to ever reside in Krynica Zdrój. Nikifor, a local primitivist artist, whose talent was accidentally discovered and spread worldwide. His painting skills compensating him for shortcomings in other areas – he was said to be retarded enough to require a legal guardian.

The areas surrounding the town are full of viewing platforms. The closest one, located in Słotwiny Park gives a chance to relish on splendid views of Jaworzyna Krynicka (here, shrouded in a tiny layer of snow) or the town seen from above.

Looking at the valley where the centre of Krynica-Zdrój is located, a blend of manifold architecture styles is eye-popping. Lack of order in that respect remains the plague in several Polish towns and cities. Partly it is a testimony of communist days, when obnoxious hotels and blocks of flats were built among old residences, the rest of monstrous edifices are put down to profit-chasing capitalism.

We stayed in a five-star hotel, one of two or three in Krynica-Zdrój. I will not mention its name. I would stay overnight in such places during business trips, but this was the first time I paid my own (reasonable thanks to low season) money for such accommodation. The choice was dictated by amenities in the hotel – a large swimming pool, a sauna and a gym, whose daily usage of which was supposed to speed up my recovery. The standard is closer to luxury than to comfort and the surfeit was not something which has taken my fancy. Politeness of the staff verging on servility does not boost my ego. Plenty of food served for breakfast for few occupants must have gone to waste. Daily unwanted change of towels (we hung them instead of throwing to the floor) and room cleaning was a waste of resources to me too. Keep in mind the term “greenwashing” comes from the hotel industry.

During the holidays I have put some strain on my spine (doing sports every day, three other hiking trips). This has clamped down on the progress of my recovery, but should somewhat accelerate it in the coming weeks, unless I spend too much time sitting.

A tram to Wilanów

I took a photo coverage of tramway to Miasteczko Wilanów under construction once, in September 2023. The urban rail link to a housing estate built from scratch in the twenty-first century, being a symbol of new-rich self-styled elite and the biggest cluster of anti-PiS voters in Poland, has been one of the flagship investments in transport infrastructure in the capital of Poland.

The two years when it was under construction were a major ordeal for everyone living along it. It had been scheduled to be opened at the beginning of September 2024, yet after a customary delay, tram services were launched without ribbon-cutting on 29 October 2024.

Given the workload, the necessity to spend times of exercising to recover, the short day and other excuses, I had no opportunity to spot the tram in Wilanów, hence no snaps with time.

Wilanów is now connected to central Warsaw with two tram lines, numbered 14 an 16. The latter connects the district with Metro Świętokrzyska, one underground station away from where my office is located. To reach the office at 8:30 a.m., I need to leave home at 7:47 a.m. If I lived in a distance of a five-minute walk to a middle stop in Wilanów, i.e. Świątynia Opatrzności Bożej and if I gave myself a two-minute headroom for reaching the tram stop, I would need to leave home approximately at 7:40 a.m. This means the commute is just less horrible than it used to be.

Lack of decent transport links is one of many reasons I have never been fond of Wilanów and haver never considered taking up residency there. Back in 2012 one could easily buy a brand-new unfinished flat from a property developer for below PLN 7,000 per sqm, while Ursynów was 10% more expensive. Today Ursynów is some 10% cheaper than the neighbouring district.

While a tram remains superior to a bus, given the current infrastructure, it is by no means a truly fast alternative, unless there is no bus lane. Its movement is hampered by numerous traffic lights, albeit it should be given priority over passenger cars. Besides, stops are scattered quite densely (which is not a drawback in general terms); consequently speed of a tram journey drops well below 20 kmph.

Despite some complaints above, I appreciate the new tram route and hope it cuts down on the traffic congestion and air pollution in the capital.

Off for some belated holidays in the Polish mountains over the next two weekends, hence the next post due on 24 November. Will I kick off writing a regular winter timeline by then?